(This is going to be long. You've been warned. Spent 6 hours writing this and didn't spell check so there is probably going to be mistakes that I'll fix later.)
It's been a while since I've last signed in here so for those who know me or remember who I am, hello! For those who don't know me, why ruin a good thing?
I remember when I joined this site a while back and I remember why as well. I was lonely and never had any friends. Has that changed since I left this site? Not really, only my attitude has changed. I'm not lonely anymore, I still don't have any friends and frankly I prefer it stay that way for reasons I'll get into later.
I cured my loneliness by myself without having to get therapy or take pills. After a while of thinking and reasoning I realized that I didn't need people. Who had to do something when I was depressed? Me. Who had to something when I was lonely? Me. It was always me, it was never anybody else because I don't need anybody else and a lot of us don't either. Think about it when you was lonely or depressed what did you do besides cry? Reach out to people? Sure but we all know that didn't work now did it? So what did you do then? Sleep? Play video games? Watch tv? Go for a walk? Whatever you did you most likely did it alone. There is no need to rely on people. Mankind has been obsolete for a while now. Even animals don't need us, we need them. The reason sayings like "Dogs is man's best friend" exist is because mankind is so inept it can't even do well by its own species.
Just face it, if you're alone now, alone for a long time or always been alone chances are high that you're going to stay that way. I've read so much stuff on the internet that's like "I'm alone and I try not to be alone but it never works. What am I doing wrong?" Most likely nothing. Sure social anxiety and depression make things hard but do you really think you'll be able to make friends if you didn't have those things? I'm not saying you should be lazy and expect something in return either but if anything think of reasons why you're alone and don't just make up excuses why you're not the one to blame. I've been on here, reddit and other websites and I see why a lot of people on those sites are alone. Reason #1 they're boring and lazy. I've been in countless conversations that end about four replies later because the person was boring and expected me to keep the conversation going and always be the one to initiate it. If you're not going to try to be interesting why should anyone try to talk to you? Reason #2 you're unappealing. Yes society's shallow but sometimes being shallow is a good thing. You wouldn't eat at a restaurant that's raggedy, unkempt and smelled bad would you? Same thing goes for a person. Being unattractive isn't as hard to fix as one's personality so whatever you have to do to look somewhat presentable do so. Shave any rough patchy facial hair if needed, if your hair is too short, try to grow it out to see how it looks, instead of wearing the white tank top with the grease stain on it try wearing a shirt with sleeves and buttons, lastly if you smell or your skin is two toned because you don't bathe enough, bathe. Reason #3 you live somewhere that isn't ideal for you. Reason #4 you were just destined to be alone and there is nothing you can do about it but there is no harm in trying.
I've watched The Age Of Loneliness and I can honestly say everyone in the documentary had problems that are easy to solve. Lonely because you moved away from friends and family? Visit them, have them visit you, call them, get on webcam and if you really want to save money, send them a letter. There was one guy in the documentary that called his kids self absorbed but he's the one that's self absorbed. He was complaining about being lonely because he wasn't to able to hang out with adults when his kids were home even though they don't stay with him all the time. He should spend more time with them rather than complain about not being able to hang out with others the times his children are home. I understand missing being in a relationship and having to take care of kids on top of that but I didn't know your kids magically turn invisible after divorce. Maybe instead of spending most of your time on social media take care of your kids and make sure they don't grow up lonely? Feeling lonely because you have no one but your kids? Spend time with your kids. I don't know where the notion has come from that people think they can have kids and have their own life at the same time but that is not so. One thing that infuriated me about the documentary was the married guy wanting to commit suicide because he was feeling lonely. If you're lonely and married what's the point of being married? I understand people who have nobody taking their life but married people doing it? Despicable. I can't stand the idea of someone taking their life, not telling their spouse the reason why they would want to and possibility of leaving the spouse with a bunch of financial problems once they die. I thought one of the reasons of being married is to have someone to confide in but if you can't confide in your own spouse that's a whole different problem on its own that you need to figure out. One thing I really couldn't understand was the elderly people in the documentary being lonely. When your elderly you don't have a lot of time left to be lonely before you hit the bucket. Old and lonely because you have no one to do things with? Find something that you like to do and do it yourself before you're dead and can't do anything anymore.
Why are people scared of dying alone? Don't tell me you want to die and take someone with you cause that's a scary attitude to have. All jokes aside, there is nothing to be scared of. Worried that you'll drop dead with no one to find out about it right away? That's not your problem let the person who finds you take responsibility of reporting your passing to the police. One question I have is why don't people prefer to die alone? Those who have nobody are lucky in their own way. Are people so egotistic that they want everything to be about them even after they die? Why would you want someone to mourn, forever miss you and possibly take have to days off work until they feel better enough to return anyway? If it was possible and I were to die before my mother and sister I would prefer all memories they have of me to be erased. I may not like them much but they have a lot of things to worry about and a dead body shouldn't be one of them. When I die I want to be cremated and have my ashes to be thrown away or tossed in a lake. I don't want my remains sitting in an urn of whatever family member's residence that threw the short straw as a representation of someone they lost and will never see again.
For those who were always alone or just alone and tried to reach out, got hurt but choose to reach out again...why? Why are you doing this to yourself? How many times must you get hurt until you realize you should try something else? Are you really in such a rush to have someone pour acid in your wounds? If you've tried everything you know how to find company and nothing has worked you should just accept it and move on. The problem with society is that no one wants to live in reality anymore. As I've mentioned before a lot of people who search for company want their "dream girl" or their "dream guy" they require their partner to have all sorts of characteristics and won't settle for anything less. Since when can beggars be choosers? Most likely you need people more than people need you. I'm not saying you have to settle for just anybody but if you have unreasonably high standards and not going to compromise you're not going to find what you want. Remember why the kind of person you want is a dream girl or guy, because that's where they exist, in your dreams.
Those who have absolutely nobody don't just dwell on the negative aspects of it. You don't have anything to lose and that's a good thing. Don't you know that love is dangerous? I don't want friends or a boyfriend because I never had them. You can't miss what you never had and I don't want something to miss. What's worse than wanting something you'll never have is gaining something you wanted just to lose it and spend your life trying to regain what you lost and having to settle on less if you manage to find anything at all. That is what makes being divorced is worse than never being married so I rather not get married or have friends. I've spent too much of my life trying to make friends, I'm not gonna spend the rest of it digging through a bunch of garbage in search of something that might not even be there.
In conclusion, just do whatever the hell you want to but spend your time wisely. Nobody has to like you, love you, care about you or do anything with you and the same goes for yourself. If you're lonely and have people that care about you find a way to keep in contact with them. If you're alone find comfort in your own company so you won't need anybody else. It's your choice. Spend your life with people you care about, spend your life doing what you want and the heck with everybody else or partake in a possibly redundant, never ending search for someone who may not even exist in the first place, knowing that it'll most likely be the end of you before the end of your search. Whatever you choose to rely on, know that if you rely solely on mankind for happiness you're gonna lose.
It's been a while since I've last signed in here so for those who know me or remember who I am, hello! For those who don't know me, why ruin a good thing?
I remember when I joined this site a while back and I remember why as well. I was lonely and never had any friends. Has that changed since I left this site? Not really, only my attitude has changed. I'm not lonely anymore, I still don't have any friends and frankly I prefer it stay that way for reasons I'll get into later.
I cured my loneliness by myself without having to get therapy or take pills. After a while of thinking and reasoning I realized that I didn't need people. Who had to do something when I was depressed? Me. Who had to something when I was lonely? Me. It was always me, it was never anybody else because I don't need anybody else and a lot of us don't either. Think about it when you was lonely or depressed what did you do besides cry? Reach out to people? Sure but we all know that didn't work now did it? So what did you do then? Sleep? Play video games? Watch tv? Go for a walk? Whatever you did you most likely did it alone. There is no need to rely on people. Mankind has been obsolete for a while now. Even animals don't need us, we need them. The reason sayings like "Dogs is man's best friend" exist is because mankind is so inept it can't even do well by its own species.
Just face it, if you're alone now, alone for a long time or always been alone chances are high that you're going to stay that way. I've read so much stuff on the internet that's like "I'm alone and I try not to be alone but it never works. What am I doing wrong?" Most likely nothing. Sure social anxiety and depression make things hard but do you really think you'll be able to make friends if you didn't have those things? I'm not saying you should be lazy and expect something in return either but if anything think of reasons why you're alone and don't just make up excuses why you're not the one to blame. I've been on here, reddit and other websites and I see why a lot of people on those sites are alone. Reason #1 they're boring and lazy. I've been in countless conversations that end about four replies later because the person was boring and expected me to keep the conversation going and always be the one to initiate it. If you're not going to try to be interesting why should anyone try to talk to you? Reason #2 you're unappealing. Yes society's shallow but sometimes being shallow is a good thing. You wouldn't eat at a restaurant that's raggedy, unkempt and smelled bad would you? Same thing goes for a person. Being unattractive isn't as hard to fix as one's personality so whatever you have to do to look somewhat presentable do so. Shave any rough patchy facial hair if needed, if your hair is too short, try to grow it out to see how it looks, instead of wearing the white tank top with the grease stain on it try wearing a shirt with sleeves and buttons, lastly if you smell or your skin is two toned because you don't bathe enough, bathe. Reason #3 you live somewhere that isn't ideal for you. Reason #4 you were just destined to be alone and there is nothing you can do about it but there is no harm in trying.
I've watched The Age Of Loneliness and I can honestly say everyone in the documentary had problems that are easy to solve. Lonely because you moved away from friends and family? Visit them, have them visit you, call them, get on webcam and if you really want to save money, send them a letter. There was one guy in the documentary that called his kids self absorbed but he's the one that's self absorbed. He was complaining about being lonely because he wasn't to able to hang out with adults when his kids were home even though they don't stay with him all the time. He should spend more time with them rather than complain about not being able to hang out with others the times his children are home. I understand missing being in a relationship and having to take care of kids on top of that but I didn't know your kids magically turn invisible after divorce. Maybe instead of spending most of your time on social media take care of your kids and make sure they don't grow up lonely? Feeling lonely because you have no one but your kids? Spend time with your kids. I don't know where the notion has come from that people think they can have kids and have their own life at the same time but that is not so. One thing that infuriated me about the documentary was the married guy wanting to commit suicide because he was feeling lonely. If you're lonely and married what's the point of being married? I understand people who have nobody taking their life but married people doing it? Despicable. I can't stand the idea of someone taking their life, not telling their spouse the reason why they would want to and possibility of leaving the spouse with a bunch of financial problems once they die. I thought one of the reasons of being married is to have someone to confide in but if you can't confide in your own spouse that's a whole different problem on its own that you need to figure out. One thing I really couldn't understand was the elderly people in the documentary being lonely. When your elderly you don't have a lot of time left to be lonely before you hit the bucket. Old and lonely because you have no one to do things with? Find something that you like to do and do it yourself before you're dead and can't do anything anymore.
Why are people scared of dying alone? Don't tell me you want to die and take someone with you cause that's a scary attitude to have. All jokes aside, there is nothing to be scared of. Worried that you'll drop dead with no one to find out about it right away? That's not your problem let the person who finds you take responsibility of reporting your passing to the police. One question I have is why don't people prefer to die alone? Those who have nobody are lucky in their own way. Are people so egotistic that they want everything to be about them even after they die? Why would you want someone to mourn, forever miss you and possibly take have to days off work until they feel better enough to return anyway? If it was possible and I were to die before my mother and sister I would prefer all memories they have of me to be erased. I may not like them much but they have a lot of things to worry about and a dead body shouldn't be one of them. When I die I want to be cremated and have my ashes to be thrown away or tossed in a lake. I don't want my remains sitting in an urn of whatever family member's residence that threw the short straw as a representation of someone they lost and will never see again.
For those who were always alone or just alone and tried to reach out, got hurt but choose to reach out again...why? Why are you doing this to yourself? How many times must you get hurt until you realize you should try something else? Are you really in such a rush to have someone pour acid in your wounds? If you've tried everything you know how to find company and nothing has worked you should just accept it and move on. The problem with society is that no one wants to live in reality anymore. As I've mentioned before a lot of people who search for company want their "dream girl" or their "dream guy" they require their partner to have all sorts of characteristics and won't settle for anything less. Since when can beggars be choosers? Most likely you need people more than people need you. I'm not saying you have to settle for just anybody but if you have unreasonably high standards and not going to compromise you're not going to find what you want. Remember why the kind of person you want is a dream girl or guy, because that's where they exist, in your dreams.
Those who have absolutely nobody don't just dwell on the negative aspects of it. You don't have anything to lose and that's a good thing. Don't you know that love is dangerous? I don't want friends or a boyfriend because I never had them. You can't miss what you never had and I don't want something to miss. What's worse than wanting something you'll never have is gaining something you wanted just to lose it and spend your life trying to regain what you lost and having to settle on less if you manage to find anything at all. That is what makes being divorced is worse than never being married so I rather not get married or have friends. I've spent too much of my life trying to make friends, I'm not gonna spend the rest of it digging through a bunch of garbage in search of something that might not even be there.
In conclusion, just do whatever the hell you want to but spend your time wisely. Nobody has to like you, love you, care about you or do anything with you and the same goes for yourself. If you're lonely and have people that care about you find a way to keep in contact with them. If you're alone find comfort in your own company so you won't need anybody else. It's your choice. Spend your life with people you care about, spend your life doing what you want and the heck with everybody else or partake in a possibly redundant, never ending search for someone who may not even exist in the first place, knowing that it'll most likely be the end of you before the end of your search. Whatever you choose to rely on, know that if you rely solely on mankind for happiness you're gonna lose.
