Hey everyone. First of all, my english isn't perfect. Sorry about that.
I'm 18 years old and I live in Spain. I'm currently living with my parents, I don't have a job and I'm not studying anything serious for now.
I love animals, iced tea, pizza, ice cream. I'm not good at expressing myself and I've always been introverted. This post will probably be a mess because I've been having some concentration problems lately, and also memory issues.
As a kid I played a lot of sports in school, I was really fast and agile. I had a lot of fun, but outside of that I stayed home most of the time playing videogames alone. Never had too many friends, never had a close friend. I also had some traumatic experiences and I still have a hard time trusting people. It's like no one ever gets to know the real me. My house has always been a little caotic too, and that made me want to hide in my room and play videogames even more.
I had a really bad time in high school. I wasn't bullied or anything, it was more like a mix between new health issues, social issues, and highschool being a complete caos with people screaming insults ALL the time and smoking in class and other crazy things like teachers crying, leaving, etc. I made some friends there but they were the kind of friends that you don't see ever again after graduating. Never had a girlfriend or someone to talk with at the time. But after a while I made a good internet friend while playing World of Warcraft (2010) and I still talk with him currently.
I was an empty silent person with almost no emotions for 5 useless years, going there for 6 hours a day. Again I spend most of my time playing videogames.
When I finished high school I was a completely different person and I probably have depression, anxiety and other stuff since then. I'm bored of everything since high school, my muscles are always tense, I can't run for more than 10 seconds without suffocating, I'm always tired, my entire body trembles, I have sleeping issues, memory issues, sometimes I have panic attacks and all kinds of issues.
After high school I wanted to study computing but failed completely because of my condition and because I hated it.
And now I'm lost, empty and stuck. I spend most of my time sleeping, thinking, walking, listening to music, watching movies or anime, trying to exercise, sometimes reading a book, etc.
My family is currently pushing me to get a driver's license, get a girlfriend, get a job, etc. It makes everything even more difficult.
Went to a lot of different doctors in the past but they didn't help a lot. I have an appointment with the psychologist in 3 weeks, it's my first time but I don't want to expect too much.
Made some progress lately, but tomorrow is my birthday and it made me think about how I wasted my entire adolescence. I've been really depressed since I thought about it 2 days ago. Today I started listening to music nonstop and I ended up here.
I thought it would be nice to meet people in a similar situation and maybe talk or something. Don't know what I'll talk about to be honest but maybe I can be an open person for once. Maybe I can help other people somehow too? the thing is that I have a lot of love to give, but no one is there to receive it, if that makes sense.
I'm 18 years old and I live in Spain. I'm currently living with my parents, I don't have a job and I'm not studying anything serious for now.
I love animals, iced tea, pizza, ice cream. I'm not good at expressing myself and I've always been introverted. This post will probably be a mess because I've been having some concentration problems lately, and also memory issues.
As a kid I played a lot of sports in school, I was really fast and agile. I had a lot of fun, but outside of that I stayed home most of the time playing videogames alone. Never had too many friends, never had a close friend. I also had some traumatic experiences and I still have a hard time trusting people. It's like no one ever gets to know the real me. My house has always been a little caotic too, and that made me want to hide in my room and play videogames even more.
I had a really bad time in high school. I wasn't bullied or anything, it was more like a mix between new health issues, social issues, and highschool being a complete caos with people screaming insults ALL the time and smoking in class and other crazy things like teachers crying, leaving, etc. I made some friends there but they were the kind of friends that you don't see ever again after graduating. Never had a girlfriend or someone to talk with at the time. But after a while I made a good internet friend while playing World of Warcraft (2010) and I still talk with him currently.
I was an empty silent person with almost no emotions for 5 useless years, going there for 6 hours a day. Again I spend most of my time playing videogames.
When I finished high school I was a completely different person and I probably have depression, anxiety and other stuff since then. I'm bored of everything since high school, my muscles are always tense, I can't run for more than 10 seconds without suffocating, I'm always tired, my entire body trembles, I have sleeping issues, memory issues, sometimes I have panic attacks and all kinds of issues.
After high school I wanted to study computing but failed completely because of my condition and because I hated it.
And now I'm lost, empty and stuck. I spend most of my time sleeping, thinking, walking, listening to music, watching movies or anime, trying to exercise, sometimes reading a book, etc.
My family is currently pushing me to get a driver's license, get a girlfriend, get a job, etc. It makes everything even more difficult.
Went to a lot of different doctors in the past but they didn't help a lot. I have an appointment with the psychologist in 3 weeks, it's my first time but I don't want to expect too much.
Made some progress lately, but tomorrow is my birthday and it made me think about how I wasted my entire adolescence. I've been really depressed since I thought about it 2 days ago. Today I started listening to music nonstop and I ended up here.
I thought it would be nice to meet people in a similar situation and maybe talk or something. Don't know what I'll talk about to be honest but maybe I can be an open person for once. Maybe I can help other people somehow too? the thing is that I have a lot of love to give, but no one is there to receive it, if that makes sense.
