Hi, been here a year ago...

[one lonely guy]

...as familyless guy, but account expired.

Anyway, thought perhaps I could find some support, understanding & even friendships. I'm in Ontario.

Lack of any family support, and for that matter any family at all nearby, hasn't helped matters.

Relationships and friendships, while relatively easy to acquire, have almost all deteriorated, died (in several cases literally) or lost meaning because their former context vanished. Long stories I can elaborate on another time.

Now to top it off, having recently met a lady much younger than myself with whom I thought I had a truly meaningful friendship (only), mainly due to the large age difference, I've become super-moody because of her large mood swings and activities she's involved in that don't fit into activities someone my age (mid-50) would normally get into.
What I thought a week ago was the friendship I'd always sought, is now turning flat. Unrealistic from the start, perhaps, but it started off SO well. She has an adorable young daughter as well, who likes me.

That's a small part of my tale for now. Hope to meet others here.

olg

 

[Minus]

Welcome back.

 

[jales]

welcome back. dont give up on it because of age

 

[one lonely guy]

welcome back. dont give up on it because of age

Yep, thanks. I really do wish.

Last night my bubble got burst somewhat. Her activities (weed, booze) with her young friends are a detriment to her health (she's mildly bipolar though it doesn't usually show) & my mood. She's a support groups facilitator and a wonderful listener/counsellor when she's not up to her shenanigans, but last night the after-effects really showed. I sprung for a really nice meal, but her mood was sullen (something I'd not experienced before) & all I felt were $$$ going down the drain.

Anyway, better soon than later I suppose. I'll have to find someone just like her 15 or more years older (sans weed & booze). The impossible dream

olg

 

[Bluey]

Welcome back dude.

The lady you had a friendship with sounds a dick. Age has nothing to do with it to what I can see. A dick is a dick at any age.

But anyway I hope this place can help in some way for you to bonce back

 

[Hijacc]

Welcome back mate.

Come inside get you a nice cup of fresia life and misery and pull up a chair.

 

[one lonely guy]

The lady you had a friendship with sounds a dick.

Thanks for the opinion.

I know Dicks. I let one (a 25+yr 'friend') go 3 weeks ago. Another 'lady' (using the term liberally) I knew for numerous years (to my chagrin) was a total Dick!! I do know my Dicks.

A dick she's not. She's young, impressionable & makes some stupid spontaneous decisions (mainly due to peer pressure) that at least half those her age make.

While I'm not completely letting her go, I'm definitely taking my focus off her, and moving on a bit. It's just so **** hard when you really have nobody.

Anyway, glad I found the group.

olg

 

[Steel]

Welcome back.

 

[itsmylife]

Hey and welcome back to the forum!

 

[Bluey]

The lady you had a friendship with sounds a dick.

Thanks for the opinion.

I know Dicks. I let one (a 25+yr 'friend') go 3 weeks ago. Another 'lady' (using the term liberally) I knew for numerous years (to my chagrin) was a total Dick!! I do know my Dicks.

A dick she's not. She's young, impressionable & makes some stupid spontaneous decisions (mainly due to peer pressure) that at least half those her age make.

While I'm not completely letting her go, I'm definitely taking my focus off her, and moving on a bit. It's just so **** hard when you really have nobody.

Anyway, glad I found the group.

olg

Am not sure how old this girl is but you make her sound like shes under 25.

I had a younger friend and he would constantly let me down. Never turn up when he said. Acutely it was a cousin of mine. I would have ago at him about it and he would say sorry. But then the very next day he would do the exact same thing again. Now if you say sorry for something there should be some feeling of guilt in that apology. And it should not be a forced apology. Plus if you do the exact same thing the very next day then it kinder makes the apology manglers. Eventually I had enough of his honeysuckle and messed him off. Age had nothing to do with it here. just a lack of respect and a lack of decency. Don't use her age as an excuse. Cos this is all it seems to be to me.

Anyway that's how it reads to me. sometimes when your in need of a friend you make accusers up for the ppl that are not treating you to good. I have done this.

 

[one lonely guy]

Don't use her age as an excuse. Cos this is all it seems to be to me.

Her behavior is not nearly as bad as your cousin's as you describe it.

The real dilemma (and I've intentionally left out a great many details) is the fact that she's quite young and I'm not. She obviously has to have friends her age with whom I wouldn't click nor would necessarily want to hang out with.
I'm not using her age as any sort of excuse, but I have to acknowledge that someone her age (and you're not far off) is naturally going to be more spontaneous & less plan-oriented than I am. After all, I'm know at her age I certainly didn't set up a weekly daytimer.

We struck a strong kinship (much more meaningful than what I have with any of my very few other so-called 'friends') based on fairly deep stuff we divulged about ourselves in support groups.

In any case, I do appreciate all the input, but I'll end the thread here because the actual situation is considerably more complex than I want to post.

 

[Bluey]

I hear what your saying about the age thing and the spontaneous thing. I don't necessarily agree with you based on what you have told me but I do understand where your coming from.

If you would like to take this to PM then feel free to PM me. If not then that's OK as well

 

[one lonely guy]

I hear what your saying about the age thing and the spontaneous thing. I don't necessarily agree with you based on what you have told me but I do understand where your coming from.

On balance the friendship is still providing way more joy than frustration, so until that balance changes, I'll stick with.
An earlier long and arduous relationship I was in was 90% frustration, 10% joy. We mutually (& mercifully) canned it eventually. Compared to that, this friendship is nirvana.

When I first posted, I was particularly frustrated by some unusual group dynamics, but since then I've partially accommodated for that, and it needn't affect our friendship. Put briefly, she's a complex person. Aren't we all though, in our own ways!

Gettogether tonight was just great!!

(My biggest fear is getting hurt, but that's a whole other thread best left for another time.)

 

[Bluey]

Ye, Hopefully things well be good

I have to say it dose make you weary of getting to close to friends when you have been hurt. I am a lot moor distant to most of the ppl I know now days. I think things go smother when your like that has well.

For instance when I used to feel down and lonely and one of my friends would ask how am doing I used to be honest and say crap. Am fed up lol and all that, you know. Now I say OK am fine with a smile Big ass fake smile HA, But I have found most ppl are not that bothered about having that one close friend and just wont ppl that like a drink or to play some games with say once a week. There not bothered about all the emotional attachment. They just wont a laugh once or twice a week. Since I have found this and been like this myself I have found to have got on a lot better with ppl.

The only problem here is that I have to deal with anything that's getting me down alone. But luckily for me I found this place and there is always some one to unload onto about stuff

 

[kfccruelty]

hi and welcome back