Hi from a newbe

[dragongirl]

Hey everyone))) I'm going to be 25 in a week, i live in the Easern part of Europe, i'm doing my master's in linguistics and my only real friend is my cat Sherry (it's actually cherie - from french "dearest") and at times i feel like the biggest loser... i hope to find a few friends here to be able to talk to about whatever and to feel a little less like i'm invisible to the world....Sorry if i sound morbid or something :shy: i'm very grateful for many things to my parents, my life and the world in general, but a guess today is just one of those Sundays where i wish i had if only one single friend to spend my free time with..................

 

[Locke]

Hey dragongirl! Welcome, and happy (early) birthday!

 

[dragongirl]

))))it's next Thursday) and well...it's been a while since i had an actual friend to invite:\ so yeah ....
i don't usually go to websites to find friends or talk about myself...i never do ..all those stories about scams on the Net...always hiding behind avatars,nicknames and such...but it's been getting more and more depressing and i kind of feel like i'm cornered....sorry) i shouldn't be spilling all my emotions all over the place like that, but there really is no-one who'd care to listen in my life and here, if a speak out it feels better, and others can just ignore it, so no harm done....

 

[Locke]

Please don't be sorry, it's what we're here for. I know how you feel. I've spent the last 3 birthdays alone, and it's sucked. People are generally friendly here though, and talking about things on this forum has been a help to me in the past.

 

[dragongirl]

))) than you))) i really need to know that right now) it's just that i've been feeling lately like i'm becoming invisible...and it scares me... i try to make new friends but a fear i might seam clingy and scare them away and i don't know how to act...it's like i'm a 3 year old screaming for attention, annoying the hell out of everyone...i don't scream...but i invite people to spend some time with me...like got out for a lunch or to the movies or just take a walk...and every time: they have no time or are too tired or something came up or they get this look in their eyes like they're trying desperately to come up with a excuse to get away! i'm not trying to leach on them! i'm not going to spend the whole time complaining, i don't need anything from them, just an hour to talk about the things THEY want to! just to know that there's a living breathing AND capable of communication sentient being there next to me! Sh*t...sorry... it's just that, there's this person who i really really wish i could be friends with ( i know he'd never look at me in any other way but it would be more than enough), he's generally quite friendly and whenever our paths cross i enjoy talking to him a lot. we share so many common interests! we even have a birthday on the same day! last week he told me about this cafe near by that i didn't know about and i asked him to show it to me (NOT A DATE!)i was hoping to got here together and just talk about anything really...to have a chance to exchange more than a hello-goodbye... i knew that he probably wasn't all that thrilled but i still hoped...yesterday he told me he was busy...i'd been waiting for a whole week...before that invite i had suggested that since we have our b-days on the same day, that we do something together - like go cart racing or smth (nothing romantic ! or such just fun for the both of us)... he's already told me that his b-day and the following weekend are booked, "maybe some time later"......i'm not an idiot, i understand....i just wish i knew what's wrong with me that i can't get a single friend in my life... the only people who did stick around were those that wanted to use me (to do something for them or to fix something or to use me as a self-esteem booster -insulting me or mocking me to feel better).....i'm so tired of it all........why is it that i'm always ready to be there for a person i call a friend, no matter what is happening in my life but no-one cares enough to do the same for me....
God! i sorry for throwing it all on you...you don't have to listen to me whine...you're here cause you have your own sh*t to deal with...forgive me please.

 

[Punisher]

Hi dragongirl. You've come to the right place

 

[Locke]

I know exactly how you feel: You do your best to reach out to people, and in return they are indifferent or they ignore you. It's really difficult finding people who you want to spend time with, and it's heartbreaking if they don't want to spend time with you. We all need a friend every once in a while; someone to share life with. Don't feel bad about it. It can be really frustrating and depressing when you just want to talk, and no one is around

I'm sorry you went through that, it seems unfair that he would blow you off. I'm not sure why this guy is acting the way he is, you seem like a very nice person to me, and I bet you're a lot of fun to hang out with. He might not be the right friend for you, but please don't give up hope. There are good people out there, you just have to be patient and keep looking.

In the meantime, you can hang out here with the rest of us lonely people

 

[mintymint]

Welcome to the site, dragongirl. Come drop by the chat room sometime

 

[dragongirl]

I know exactly how you feel: You do your best to reach out to people, and in return they are indifferent or they ignore you. It's really difficult finding people who you want to spend time with, and it's heartbreaking if they don't want to spend time with you. We all need a friend every once in a while; someone to share life with. Don't feel bad about it. It can be really frustrating and depressing when you just want to talk, and no one is around

I'm sorry you went through that, it seems unfair that he would blow you off. I'm not sure why this guy is acting the way he is, you seem like a very nice person to me, and I bet you're a lot of fun to hang out with. He might not be the right friend for you, but please don't give up hope. There are good people out there, you just have to be patient and keep looking.

In the meantime, you can hang out here with the rest of us lonely people

thank you)))) i guess for him it's just something he doesn't understand, as far as i know he has many friends(whether they are real friends or just hang-out-drink-on-weekends kind, i don't know, but what i do know is that he always has someone to call and chat with...which i'm a bit envious about...i was raised in a sheltered way, where my family has always been there for me, but at the same time stricktly monitored who i communicate with...as a result by the time a turned fifteen i didn't have a single real friend, just a bunch of people who didn't care one bit about me, but used every chance to use me in every way they could (doing homework for them, helping out with creativity, as i've already said using me as the shoulder to cry on or mock me for my disadvantages (I know i'm short and chubby! you don't have to keep whining about gaining another 20 gramms when you and i both know that you could be on the next top model show with your mesurments and hight, just to make me feel inadequate and ugly while you preen inside and boost your self-esteem)......i used to take it...i used to pretend i didn't see it...i used to ignore it, because..ate least they were there...i wasn't completely alone....i don't want to continue liek that anymore....i'm done wasting my time and emotions on those that care only about them selves... since then i've been alone....for 10 years...
for a person like that guy who maybe has had a period like that, maybe not, i doubt he wants to waste his time on me...why would he? i'm a girl so he can't hang out with me like he would with his buddies (even if i tried i couldn't communicate on the same level) and as a girl a pose no interest to him...hence this...he knows i'm lonely...i didn't make a secret out of it...and he probably feels pity for me, so he occasionally talks to me and even pretends we're friendly... one thing i've been cursed with is lack of stupidity! i really sometimes wish i saw the world through the eyes of those play-bunny-pea-brained girls who know only to talk fashion...their life must be so much simpler... i'm not like that, never were...i was always a nerd...i studied well at school...i graduated from uni with a red diploma (in our education system it means i only had three B grades, and all other A's)...i study foreign languages( at this point i'm fluent in English, French, German and Spanish...i started learning Italian this year and i'm planing to take up Latin later)...i'm a loser....because while i worked hard to improve my mind i lost all connection with the society...no social life what so ever...when i think about it all rationally i guess i can understand people's lack of enthusiasm to spend time with me......i'm rambling so much...but i havn't had the chance to speak it all out...it really is calming....i'm really glad i found this place))) thank you)))))

---

Welcome to the site, dragongirl. Come drop by the chat room sometime

um...how do i do that? i followed the link but according to the instruction there should've been a list of chat members in green with my name there...there isn't....i've never used a forum chat so it's rather confusing...could you please explain what i need to do?

 

[9006]

Welcome to the site.

 

[TheWalkingDead]

Welcome, I have experienced the same with people, I think it's they who have the issue not me these days but it took a lot of work to get there

As for chat, you should see a little green pawn with some odd autogenerated name such as loveybump or something, you have to click on that and change it to your forum username, and then a mod will approve you and talk you through it. I believe the mods are not around ALL the time as they do have to do other stuff, so you may have just tried at a time nobody was around? Not yet used it myself but it has been explained to me thusly!

Good luck with your master's (I studied linguistics for a while some time back!) and in finding the friends you deserve

 

[Drama]

hi, welcome

 

[EveWasFramed]

Welcome.

 

[dragongirl]

Welcome, I have experienced the same with people, I think it's they who have the issue not me these days but it took a lot of work to get there

As for chat, you should see a little green pawn with some odd autogenerated name such as loveybump or something, you have to click on that and change it to your forum username, and then a mod will approve you and talk you through it. I believe the mods are not around ALL the time as they do have to do other stuff, so you may have just tried at a time nobody was around? Not yet used it myself but it has been explained to me thusly!

Good luck with your master's (I studied linguistics for a while some time back!) and in finding the friends you deserve

thank you))) i'll try right now))

 

[SofiasMami]

Hi and welcome

-Teresa

 

[ladyforsaken]

Hey dragongirl, welcome again.

 

[Edward W]

Hi and welcome!

 

[dragongirl]

thank you)) for stopping by and welcoming me))

 

[dragongirl]

hey!LOCKE dont seem to be able to reply to you

 

[Pedestrian]

Sorry for the late post. Welcome dragongirl, enjoy your stay