Hi. I'm new here.

[TheDude76]

Hi,

So, I joined this board to say the following, and see what your thoughts were...

First, about me. I'm 37 years old, and have never had a relationship. I'm admittedly a nerd. This doesn't mean that I play video games, or sit in front of a computer for hours outside of work. Rather, I still have a curiosity about the world that most folks my age have traded in for Facebook, Dancing With The Stars, and sports bars. I visit a local observatory weekly, I recently captained an organized sport team, I've started taking taekwondo lessons, and I go for long walks/hikes quite often. In regards to looks, I am overweight, but I dress well, and I don't look like the Crypt Keeper.

All of that being said, I've haven't met any single women in my age range doing any activities outside of work. Not a one. I've also tried online dating, talking to women in public (every permutation of a conversation starter), joining other group activities, etc. I don't know if it's due to my geographic region (the Northeast, way uptight), or my age group (Gen-X), but in my neck of the woods, no one my age does anything but talk about crap on the TV and constantly mess with social media.

So, am I doing anything wrong, or are my expectations of perpetual singledom right on the money? I feel incredibly stupid, and subsequently depressed, for having not met anyone by this time in my life. I'm at wits end regarding how to meet someone.

Thanks for any advice,

The Dude

 

[Garbageman]

HI The Dude,
First welcome to the forum. It is really hard to say if your doing anything wrong, whats wrong would be subject to debate anyway. It sounds like you are doing a lot right. You are starting or at least attempting to start conversations, you are trying different activities, and even online dating. From your brief description of yourself you seem like a straight up , nice guy, with a fairly positive self image. While it does seem increasingly difficult to find people who are not as you described, into crap talk & social media junkies, I am sure there are people in your area that are outside that description, although you are from ** State (didn't want to put your state visible to non members) so maybe not. JK anyway.

I would not allow yourself to feel stupid because you have not met anyone, sometimes things just work out that way, the key is to not give up hope and never stop trying. Sometimes there is no logic to how thing work out, there are things that happen in ways that just don't make any sense. Don't let that get you down. Do I blame you for being frustrated, not at all, but don't let that discourage you. Keep working on improving yourself, and try to have fun while you do it, when people see that happiness in you they tend to be more likely to be drawn to you. Hopefully you can attract a good mate. I wish I had something more helpful, but best of luck, and don't give up.

 

[Danielle]

Hi there and welcome! Where in the north east? I am also from the North East.... If we are near by somewhat I would like to do group activities, walking, hiking etc... I like to make New Friends!

 

[9006]

Welcome to the site, dude.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Welcome to the forum. The Crypt Keeper is awesome, he's a funny guy for a corpse

 

[1000lifetimes]

Greetings dude! Welcome!

My thoughts - you seem to have good taste haha, perhaps having good taste is the thing you're doing wrong . I know what you mean about social media - granted I was born 10 years after you, but I feel out of sync with society too. I'd rather spend time understanding the world or perfecting a skill than spend countless hours on Facebook/twitter etc.

Don't worry tho boss...there have to be others out there...we just may be harder to find.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Hey TheDude, welcome to the forum! Hope you can find some people you can talk to or make friends with.. lots of awesome people here. Good luck.

 

[ForGrantedWife]

You really do sound like you're being proactive on your own behalf because you aren't afraid to go after something and have decent hobbies/public events. That's the biggest thing you can do for yourself if you want friends/a lover. Keep expanding your horizons and keep a sharp eye out for a person who you feel you could have a shot with if you work on it. Don't ever be afraid to take a chance on someone. A good place to start is to give the person some crap-tease them playfully once you get into a social setting with them. Being witty is so important. And being brave and confident is second in importance right after that. I think that's the biggest problem out there is lack of confidence. If someone doesn't believe in themselves, no one else will either.

 

[TheDude76]

Thanks for the support and advice. I'll keep on tryin'!

 

[EveWasFramed]

The Dude

OMG!! It's The Dude!!!

You mean you aren't a Facebook/Twitter maniac? lol

Im sorry I made a joke of your user name. Don't Tweet.... I mean beat me. lmao

:club:

 

[Floridaguy]

Hi welcome.
This Forum has been helpful to me. Glad you found it.

It is easy to give up hope. I'm close to that myself.
But she is out there.
Keep your chin up.