Hi...

[aspeckofdust]

I feel like I've been here before, but I'm pretty sure I never made an account.

Anyway, well, I've suffered from loneliness for a long time now it seems like. I guess it can be blamed on a number of things. Shyness. A low self-esteem. Possible mental illness (depression if nothing else, because normal people aren't supposed to feel like I do, are they?). Those reasons aside, I'm a very lonely person in general and as I've gotten older, I feel like the effects of it are getting even worse.

I have very few friends who I don't see often and, of course, no girlfriend (although I think at this point, I'd consider a boyfriend). I want a person who could be both a partner and a best friend. I guess that's what most people want. I think I would be happy then though, if I had that person. They would be the center of my life. I would worship them and love the hell out of them, no matter what. I'm not saying I would settle for just any person. Obviously there'd have to be common interests among other things.

I'm not sure where I was going with this. I just wanted to explain my situation a little I guess.

So, why am I here? It's not just to post so I can feel sorry for myself and end up feeling even more miserable. I want to fit in somewhere. Any forum I've ever posted on, I never seem to fit in, no matter how hard I try to do so. I know that's not guaranteed to happen, that I could easily end up disappointed here too, and I'm aware of how whiny I sound by saying that at all, but best to be truthful, right? :|

 

[cursed37]

Hi there... I think the fact that you are posting a thread, and not whining to your friends/family shows you're not WHINY. I too get totally hung up on that. If my parents knew I was feeling this low they would flip their lid. But I have a middle sister who is needy as fresia. So I shut up. lol. And deal with it. Well, I post anonymously online for healing, as did you.

In any case... let me tell you what I know about loneliness because it is a new feeling for me. I've never been lonely before, I've lived along for years and I've also been married, so I can see both sides of it. I loved being by myself... at least in my twenties. Now I'm having a crisis over how ugly I've realized my face is (I really do have an awful face) and all of a sudden I feel lonely.

I think the key to not feeling lonely is to really enjoy your own company. I always said - no one is going to like you if you don't like yourself. Easier said than done I know. Yes the effects of whatever we've been dealing with are compounded with age.

Do you know.. that if you go on a solo vacation, say on a tour of Italy or Greece - one of those package tours, people will KNOW you are alone and make great effort to include you in their groups. it is a FABULOUS way of having a great time, stepping outside of your comfort zone, stepping outside of LIFE for a week or two and genuinely meeting lifelong friends.


Anyway babes, I know how you feel. So look, new friend already

 

[Dessa]

Hello friend welcome.

 

[aspeckofdust]

@cursed37: I just deal with it too, or try to anyway...

I doubt you're ugly. Everyone's their own worst critic. So even though you think you're ugly (and I'm not saying that's a good thing, because it's definitely not), I'm sure there's plenty out there who'd disagree with your opinion. You were even married once. That's a lot more than I can say for myself.

I've always heard that too, that no one will like you if you don't like yourself. But as you also said, easier said than done.

I've thought of doing that before, a solo vacation like that. Not even for that reason, but that does give me a new reason to consider doing it. Unfortunately, I can't afford anything like that, not now anyway.

I would like to be friends. I was also looking at your profile and I see that you're new here too.

@0CI355A: Thank you.