Hi

[SelfDefenseFamily]

Hi,

I'm new here so it's best that I introduce myself and talk about some issues that I've had for a while now. I have the feeling that I need to get everything off my chest. I can't deal with it anymore on my own. I'll try to explain everything. it's probably gonna be a lengthy post. My apologies for that.

I'm a 21 year old dude, living in Belgium. Let's just say I wasn't genetically programmed to be happy. Depression and anxiety run rampant in my family and I (and my sister to a lesser extent) have taken over this certain trait. That alone makes it hard to make social contacts since you are living in a certain mindset that seems quite alien for some people. It's hard for me to make contact with other people. That's why I crafted a disguise. I try to be funny and extrovert but you don't have to dig deep to see my true face. I'm a sorry excuse for a human being. That's why my relationships always crash and burn. Girls always fall for the fake me, the funny and pleasant dude. My life is a mess. I dropped out of high school. I don't even know why. This has made it so hard to find a job. People just don't want a low life slob like me. This has made me very jaded and jealous of other people's success. They are moving on and getting somewhere and I'm just at the same place I've always been. The only place were I really felt accepted is in the underground punk and metal scene but now I'm feeling more and more like an outcast. The others are always cooler and more interesting then me and t's driving me mad. To make things worse, I fell in love. A couple of months back I've met a girl from Canada. I still don't know what she saw in me but we ended up spending some time together. Every moment I spend with her was beautiful. I felt like I've found someone really special. But alas after spending a few weeks in total with each other she had to return home. We kept in contact but that also pretty much withered away. I've sent her a message yesterday to see how she's doing but she still hasn't replied. I know that it's pretty much impossible to maintain a relationship with somebody overseas but It still hurts knowing that it ended like it always ends for me. Getting thrown out like the piece of human garbage I really am. So that leaves me where I am now. Alone.

 

[Rainbows]

Welcome to the forum.

Belgium huh, french or dutch part?

 

[wolvesjr]

welcome to the forum. I think you'll find people here who can relate to what you're going through. Talking things through with others who have been in similar places as you are can help.

 

[Omnipotent Soul]

Hi,

I'm new here so it's best that I introduce myself and talk about some issues that I've had for a while now. I have the feeling that I need to get everything off my chest. I can't deal with it anymore on my own. I'll try to explain everything. it's probably gonna be a lengthy post. My apologies for that.

I'm a 21 year old dude, living in Belgium. Let's just say I wasn't genetically programmed to be happy. Depression and anxiety run rampant in my family and I (and my sister to a lesser extent) have taken over this certain trait. That alone makes it hard to make social contacts since you are living in a certain mindset that seems quite alien for some people. It's hard for me to make contact with other people. That's why I crafted a disguise. I try to be funny and extrovert but you don't have to dig deep to see my true face. I'm a sorry excuse for a human being. That's why my relationships always crash and burn. Girls always fall for the fake me, the funny and pleasant dude. My life is a mess. I dropped out of high school. I don't even know why. This has made it so hard to find a job. People just don't want a low life slob like me. This has made me very jaded and jealous of other people's success. They are moving on and getting somewhere and I'm just at the same place I've always been. The only place were I really felt accepted is in the underground punk and metal scene but now I'm feeling more and more like an outcast. The others are always cooler and more interesting then me and t's driving me mad. To make things worse, I fell in love. A couple of months back I've met a girl from Canada. I still don't know what she saw in me but we ended up spending some time together. Every moment I spend with her was beautiful. I felt like I've found someone really special. But alas after spending a few weeks in total with each other she had to return home. We kept in contact but that also pretty much withered away. I've sent her a message yesterday to see how she's doing but she still hasn't replied. I know that it's pretty much impossible to maintain a relationship with somebody overseas but It still hurts knowing that it ended like it always ends for me. Getting thrown out like the piece of human garbage I really am. So that leaves me where I am now. Alone.

Welcome to the site. I'm sorry to hear you find it hard to make friends, I am the same way because I am a bit different to most people. But I am a friend to everyone, including you. Private message me some time if you need a chat.