Hitting Women: Yes, No, Maybe so?

[Callie]

So at the end of the day, of course no one should be hitting anyone but the world we live in is far from perfect so if i get hit, my instinctual reaction should be to retaliate and defend myself. So as the aggressor, (whether you're female and/or weak) why would you hit me not expecting similar repercussions ESPECIALLY if you know its by someone who can physically dominate you

So society wants to fault me for physically retaliating against a woman (or in your argument, someone who's weaker than me) but i fault the aggressor for clearly not understanding the can of worms they're opening and the situation they're putting themselves in if they suddenly want to play the victim when they get smacked up. Hopefully they learn a valuable lesson after their ass whoopin

Why is it acceptable for you to retaliate and defend yourself, but not for the one who is weaker than you? If you call a woman a ***** and she slaps you, she's the one asking for an "ass whoopin"? Personally, I am glad society is around to fault people for that.

Yes, this. I never hit ANYONE unless I have a **** good reason to.
Someone mentioned the woman pushing the man to hit them, but what about the other way around. The man (stronger) goading the woman (weaker) to hit them? What then?
I fight dirty and I'm not afraid to use "weapons" if I have to do so. (anything I can get my hands on, not like a gun or knife or the like)

If I'll ever hit a man, I'd make sure to hit the spot where he won't be able to retaliate, then I'll run. ^^

This doesn't always work.

 

[hbkdx12]

Why is it acceptable for you to retaliate and defend yourself, but not for the one who is weaker than you? If you call a woman a ***** and she slaps you, she's the one asking for an "ass whoopin"? Personally, I am glad society is around to fault people for that.

It's not retaliation on their part if the other person decides to strike me first.

And by your logic, if a woman calls me a dick then i should be fully justified for hitting her. However, we both know society doesn't work that way

At the end of the day, the overarching question is what makes society deem women so fragile and untouchable even in these bad situations that they create by initiating physical violence

---

Yes, this. I never hit ANYONE unless I have a **** good reason to.
Someone mentioned the woman pushing the man to hit them, but what about the other way around. The man (stronger) goading the woman (weaker) to hit them? What then?
I fight dirty and I'm not afraid to use "weapons" if I have to do so. (anything I can get my hands on, not like a gun or knife or the like)

The concept of a "**** good reason" is generally very subjective especially when adding the distinction of whether you're hitting first or retaliating

In verbal altercations, especially when it's with someone you know and are close to, there are bound to be buttons pushed and lines crossed. If something gets said where you're just brimming with rage and you say to yourself that you're going to hit this person, then so be it. I can understand that HOWEVER! just understand the consequences and repercussions that come from those actions. Don't hit someone and then want to play the victim when you get hit back simply because you got hit back. In my book that's bullshit whether your a man or a female, strong or weak.

 

[Peter Lorre]

If I'll ever hit a man, I'd make sure to hit the spot where he won't be able to retaliate, then I'll run. ^^

Yeah, with your little legs...

(hehe)

 

[Callie]

The concept of a "**** good reason" is generally very subjective especially when adding the distinction of whether you're hitting first or retaliating

In verbal altercations, especially when it's with someone you know and are close to, there are bound to be buttons pushed and lines crossed. If something gets said where you're just brimming with rage and you say to yourself that you're going to hit this person, then so be it. I can understand that HOWEVER! just understand the consequences and repercussions that come from those actions. Don't hit someone and then want to play the victim when you get hit back simply because you got hit back. In my book that's bullshit whether your a man or a female, strong or weak.

Oh I always understand the consequences of what I do. And I don't mean I'll just grab a weapon at the beginning, I'd only do that if I felt I was in trouble. And I never play the victim, so that's not an issue. What I do is on me, no one else, I fully know what could and will happen should I go after someone and I'm always prepared to deal with that. If I get my ass kicked, so be it. Won't be the first time.

 

[hbkdx12]

Oh I always understand the consequences of what I do. And I don't mean I'll just grab a weapon at the beginning, I'd only do that if I felt I was in trouble. And I never play the victim, so that's not an issue. What I do is on me, no one else, I fully know what could and will happen should I go after someone and I'm always prepared to deal with that. If I get my ass kicked, so be it. Won't be the first time.

I can respect that entirely.

It's just weird to me when i see situations like one that i saw not too long ago. I saw a man and a woman arguing and she was real loud and nasty and all in his face and at one point she hit him a few times in his chest, might of hit him in the face and he pushed her and told her not to hit him so then she's like "What?! you gonna hit me? You gonna hit a female?! You aint no real man!"

and im like WTF? How you gonna sit there and antagonize the guy (not saying he's completely innocent cuz i don't know the circumstances of the argument) and then hit him and then wanna set yourself up to be a victim, BEFORE he even retaliates. Crazy

 

[StonedHitman]

I treat people equally, regardless of sex, age, or race, if someone makes me mad(cussing me out or just talking alot of smack) I would try and calm the situation(like telling the person to relax) I personally don't think just walking away would help because nothing is settled, your just walking away from and ignoring a very heated person who may just charge you from behind. So, I don't like fighting and I don't think that's how any confrontation should lead up to. But sadly, we live in a world where physical fighting is mostly the way to resolve differences. That being said, the only way I would physically strike someone is if that person strikes me first. If a fight is the only way to end it then so be it. The only exception I would make in this case is if the person has a physical or mental disability. So to summarize, I would hit a person(that includes women) if I can't diffuse the situation with words.

 

[horse1987]

no absolutely not

 

[nerdygirl]

At the end of the day, the overarching question is what makes society deem women so fragile and untouchable even in these bad situations that they create by initiating physical violence

(I'd like to mention that I wouldn't hit a man for calling me a ***** unless he'd paid me first.)

At the end of the day, the question isn't about society. The question is, "Why would you deal with somebody who believes the logical next step in an argument is to initiate physical violence?"

 

[blackhole]

for men, the point is this:

- it doesn't matter what happens, it's not tit for tat. just because some chick shoves you, or slaps you, or splashes water in your face, does NOT mean you can hit her back.

- violence is reserved for defense.

if your life/limb REALLY in danger? if yes, by all means, start swinging. if it's not, walk away.

it's fairly simple.

i will be the first to admit, i'm incredibly sexist when it comes to this.

 

[Bones]

In a lot of ways, I wish I would have never read this thread because it brings back emotional, mental, and physical abuse memories. On the other hand, it means I am not fully recovered from it as I thought.

The one part that has not been discussed is the "family structure situational" context. To make a long story short, my ex wife knew if I ever placed a hand on her, I would lose my daughter, my house, my property, ect - only recently has the law started to look at it fairly but not back in the 90s.

Therefore, she purposely tried a "Lorena Bobbit 2.0," kick me in between the legs when I was not paying attention, slap me as hard as she could on my face, use a knife and tried to kill me, flatten my tires, destroy the house and any thing else I held dear.

And, I could NOT do a **** thing about because my daughter would have been in jeopardy if I was NOT around and would have zero chance of getting custody of her - also, the law is tilted towards a woman for DVPs even on trumped up charges ... I know from experience.

So, no, you can NOT defend yourself or restrain if you are a male and want to protect a child because the courts - at least still in the mid 90s - still favored the woman and she gets everything in a divorce - esp custody.

I knew what was coming down the road because when my daughter was a couple of months old the ex wife jumped off the couch and started hitting my daughter. I wanted to do some heavy damage to her but had to keep my cool and put up with it for two years. And for the courts being unfair for divorces ... the first thing out of the judge mouth was you know child support is mandatory ... the last thing out of mouth because i got custody and she did not visitation rights was you really do not want child support do you?

Since I won, I declined to get heck out of dodge and was able to keep my house, property, daughter, etc that i owed before getting married and she did not work nor take care of my daughter. For two years, I had to get up early in the morning and feed and change them ... stepdaughter included ... leave during break and lunch from work to home and feed and change them, and when i got home from work had to feed and change them.

In the end, if a male ever hits a woman; and esp if you are married and have a child, it does not matter what a woman does because your goose will cooked no matter what.

^After that little rant, I believe it is time to post some ponies in the Did Someone Say Ponies thread!

 

[LostInside]

I would be to scared to ever hit a woman

Even if a crazed woman was chasing me with a knife/sword/gun/nail gun/etc I would just try to dodge it and run away out of fear of legal repercussions. Bones story is important because had he lost his cool and laid a hand on his wife not only would she have had custody of his daughter, he could have ended up in prison. Even though it would had been in defense of his daughter.

And if I get hit by a female? Well better than being in prison!

 

[Pheenix]

Wow, this discussion would only pop up somewhere American

First of all, there is no situation not involving real tangible danger where violence is justified. Violence, that is, incapacitation, is what you resort to when a party starts doing something extreme that breaks the law. The idea is simply that you in theory call the police, but if you can't or the police won't be able to arrive in time, you resort to violence. The goal of this violence is to neutralize the hostile as fast as possible, with as little pain as possible. Now, as this goes, it is completely irrelevant which gender the hostile is.

 

[hbkdx12]

I suppose this guy did the right thing by not retaliating

Girl beats down guy

 

[Lollipop286]

Why the hell did he stay there!?!

 

[blackhole]

In a lot of ways, I wish I would have never read this thread because it brings back emotional, mental, and physical abuse memories. On the other hand, it means I am not fully recovered from it as I thought.

The one part that has not been discussed is the "family structure situational" context. To make a long story short, my ex wife knew if I ever placed a hand on her, I would lose my daughter, my house, my property, ect - only recently has the law started to look at it fairly but not back in the 90s.

Therefore, she purposely tried a "Lorena Bobbit 2.0," kick me in between the legs when I was not paying attention, slap me as hard as she could on my face, use a knife and tried to kill me, flatten my tires, destroy the house and any thing else I held dear.

And, I could NOT do a **** thing about because my daughter would have been in jeopardy if I was NOT around and would have zero chance of getting custody of her - also, the law is tilted towards a woman for DVPs even on trumped up charges ... I know from experience.

So, no, you can NOT defend yourself or restrain if you are a male and want to protect a child because the courts - at least still in the mid 90s - still favored the woman and she gets everything in a divorce - esp custody.

I knew what was coming down the road because when my daughter was a couple of months old the ex wife jumped off the couch and started hitting my daughter. I wanted to do some heavy damage to her but had to keep my cool and put up with it for two years. And for the courts being unfair for divorces ... the first thing out of the judge mouth was you know child support is mandatory ... the last thing out of mouth because i got custody and she did not visitation rights was you really do not want child support do you?

Since I won, I declined to get heck out of dodge and was able to keep my house, property, daughter, etc that i owed before getting married and she did not work nor take care of my daughter. For two years, I had to get up early in the morning and feed and change them ... stepdaughter included ... leave during break and lunch from work to home and feed and change them, and when i got home from work had to feed and change them.

In the end, if a male ever hits a woman; and esp if you are married and have a child, it does not matter what a woman does because your goose will cooked no matter what.

^After that little rant, I believe it is time to post some ponies in the Did Someone Say Ponies thread!

dude, i can so relate.

my ex used to smile (with her eyes only, poker face otherwise) when she would get me to the point of losing my mind.

she also was abusive and neglectful of our daughter.

hit me on several occasions, pretty much destroyed our house and our finances.

yeah, you aren't the only one.

 

[hbkdx12]

Why the hell did he stay there!?!

I would imagine the idea is that if he runs away (although he actively kept moving away from her and get away from her) that he's a "pussy" which is hinted at by her saying "Why you running, pussy?!" but then if he hits her he still looks like a punk. So, basically i guess the moral of the story is to just take that ass whoppin cuz she's a chick :rolleyes2:

 

[blackhole]

the moral of the story is: a real man doesn't give a honeysuckle what people call him.

 

[blackhole]

also -

you can call me anything, just don't call me late for dinner.

 

[WishingWell]

I don't believe ANYONE should ever hit ANYONE. We all should be able to argue without resorting to physical violence. If a man hits a woman, it is so wrong. In most cases a man can really hurt a woman because of his strength vs. hers. On the other hand, however, if a woman decides to hit a man, she, of course is wrong also, especially women who actually think they have the right to do it since men shouldn't hit woman, and they start to beat up on their boyfriends/significant other. How much do these women think a man can take before getting to the point of him wanting to retaliate. In cases like that, it becomes a tough call. Hopefully, the man can restrain himself to the point of just holding her back until she calms down. If he ends up hitting her back, for her sake, she better hope he doesn't use his full strength--she certainly is asking for trouble.

 

[WishingWell]

I don't believe ANYONE should ever hit ANYONE. We all should be able to argue without resorting to physical violence. If a man hits a woman, it is so wrong. In most cases a man can really hurt a woman because of his strength vs. hers. On the other hand, however, if a woman decides to hit a man, she, of course is wrong also, especially women who actually think they have the right to do it since men shouldn't hit woman, and they start to beat up on their boyfriends/significant other. How much do these women think a man can take before getting to the point of him wanting to retaliate. In cases like that, it becomes a tough call. Hopefully, the man can restrain himself to the point of just holding her back until she calms down. If he ends up hitting her back, for her sake, she better hope he doesn't use his full strength--she certainly is asking for trouble.