Homage to Chuck Norris

[user 108508]

^lmfao @ the last one - priceless!

~ Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

~ Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

 

[Outcast]

^^^ hahaha I knew you'd like it! I added that one for you. I'm a sucker for dirty jokes.

 

[DVEUS]

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[user 108508]

^^^ hahaha I knew you'd like it! I added that one for you. I'm a sucker for dirty jokes.

Aww, bless your heart - thank you! In return, these are Chuck jokes are just for your entertainment.

~ Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

~ Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

~ Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".

 

[Outcast]

Aww, bless your heart - thank you! In return, these are Chuck jokes are just for your entertainment.

You are most welcome. Those were all good by the way, gave me a good laugh. I'll try and continue the dirty joke trend.


- Chuck Norris is required to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.

- Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.

- They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take honeysuckle from anybody.

 

[user 108508]

You are most welcome. Those were all good by the way, gave me a good laugh. I'll try and continue the dirty joke trend.

Touche, my friend! LOL...legally wear pants.

~ 70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.

~ Chuck Norris can impregnate a woman through anal sex.

~ When Chuck Norris plays monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.

~ Chuck Norris is currently in a legal battle with the makers of Bubble Tape. Norris claims "6 Feet of Fun" is actually the trademark for his penis.

 

[Outcast]

^ The first one is hilarious. xD

- Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

- Chuck Norris doesn’t have hair on his balls because hair doesn’t grow on steel.

 

[user 108508]

^hehe, I had a feeling that one would make you chuckle. Love the condom one, too. How about......

~ Chuck Norris' dick is so big, it has it's own dick, and that dick is still bigger than yours.

~ A rogue squirrel once challenged Chuck Norris to a nut hunt around the park. Before beginning, Chuck simply dropped his pants, instantly killing the squirrel and 3 small children.

~ Chuck Norris was originally offered the role as Frodo in Lord of the Rings. He declined because, "Only a pussy would need three movies to destroy a piece of jewelery."

~ Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. The same day, Chuck Norris got an award for masturbating in public.

~ Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fresia down.

 

[Savage86]

* Chuck Norris once hit a guy so hard the guy starved to death rolling.

* The Earth never used to spin on its axis until one day many years ago when Chuck Norris sneezed.

* In the original version of the bible BC meant Before Chuck.

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* Chuck Norris once hit a guy so hard the guy starved to death rolling.

* The Earth never used to spin on its axis until one day many years ago when Chuck Norris sneezed.

* In the original version of the bible BC meant Before Chuck.

 

[Outcast]

- Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.

- The phrase 'balls to the wall' was originally conceived to describe Chuck Norris entering any building smaller than an aircraft hangar.

 

[Erevetot]

this thread needs to be revived

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Chuck Norris puts curtains on his Windows 8

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fresia down.

Chuck Norris visited the "virgin" islands...... when he left it was renamed to the islands.

Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

 

[Outcast]

^lmao

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[user 108508]

~ Chuck Norris doesn't eat turkey at Thanksgiving. He eat Big Bird...all by himself.

~ Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

~ Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.