J.P.
Member
- Joined
- Jan 8, 2012
- Messages
- 23
- Reaction score
- 0
I'm 32/male. I'm feeling extremely lonely and tired.
I've had a few friends, but their lives changed and they didn't include me in them. We used to meet every week, now we only meet on birthdays. And they only stay a little time, like they're doing me a big favor.
I've never had a girlfriend. I had an online friend for years that has even more severe loneliness problems. I care a lot about her and for months I made my best effort to reach her, try to start a relationship of any kind with her, but she always evaded me and didn't want to give me any straight answers.
I'm aware she has problems, but she made me feel she'd rather be alone and miserable rather than giving me a break and at least get to know me. She made me feel like I'm less than nothing. It was crushing, it's been like a year and my confidence hasn't recovered.
At least all our talks contributed to her going to a therapist again, now she's on medication and it seems her phobia is better.
I went to a therapist myself, but after 8 months of working my ass off in sessions, letting my guard down, criticising myself, telling her every painful thing in my life and giving her 1/3 of my money, the only advance we made was that I started to pay attention to superficial stuff, like clothes, haircut and such.
Other than that, I became a cynic, it all just convinced me that talking and trying leads to nothing, that nobody cares about me, and in the end they just want to get something from me.
I've always been cheerful and resisted sadness pretty well, but now it's getting very hard.
I'm creative, I like my job and I'm pretty good, but nobody knows or cares.
I work at home, so I stay indoors for weeks at a time. I get to talk so little that I've lost all practice, and when I do, I sound increasingly more awkward and clumsy. My eyes feel tired and sad.
I'm so frustrated because I can see how beautiful life is, but it seems nothing of that is meant for me. I don't know how to communicate with people, I feel like they use a weird unspoken language that I can't understand. No matter what I do, or not do, they hate me.
I wish I didn't give a **** and didn't feel, but I do. I just don't fit in. My position is so pathetic I can't even consider suicide, because I love my parents and that would devastate them.
I'm young, I have lots of projects and my mind is clear, but I'm broken, my body aches and all my energy and strenght is gone. I feel like I'm fading away.
Sorry about the rambling, I believe I'm hopeless and nobody can help me, but I just needed to write something.
I've had a few friends, but their lives changed and they didn't include me in them. We used to meet every week, now we only meet on birthdays. And they only stay a little time, like they're doing me a big favor.
I've never had a girlfriend. I had an online friend for years that has even more severe loneliness problems. I care a lot about her and for months I made my best effort to reach her, try to start a relationship of any kind with her, but she always evaded me and didn't want to give me any straight answers.
I'm aware she has problems, but she made me feel she'd rather be alone and miserable rather than giving me a break and at least get to know me. She made me feel like I'm less than nothing. It was crushing, it's been like a year and my confidence hasn't recovered.
At least all our talks contributed to her going to a therapist again, now she's on medication and it seems her phobia is better.
I went to a therapist myself, but after 8 months of working my ass off in sessions, letting my guard down, criticising myself, telling her every painful thing in my life and giving her 1/3 of my money, the only advance we made was that I started to pay attention to superficial stuff, like clothes, haircut and such.
Other than that, I became a cynic, it all just convinced me that talking and trying leads to nothing, that nobody cares about me, and in the end they just want to get something from me.
I've always been cheerful and resisted sadness pretty well, but now it's getting very hard.
I'm creative, I like my job and I'm pretty good, but nobody knows or cares.
I work at home, so I stay indoors for weeks at a time. I get to talk so little that I've lost all practice, and when I do, I sound increasingly more awkward and clumsy. My eyes feel tired and sad.
I'm so frustrated because I can see how beautiful life is, but it seems nothing of that is meant for me. I don't know how to communicate with people, I feel like they use a weird unspoken language that I can't understand. No matter what I do, or not do, they hate me.
I wish I didn't give a **** and didn't feel, but I do. I just don't fit in. My position is so pathetic I can't even consider suicide, because I love my parents and that would devastate them.
I'm young, I have lots of projects and my mind is clear, but I'm broken, my body aches and all my energy and strenght is gone. I feel like I'm fading away.
Sorry about the rambling, I believe I'm hopeless and nobody can help me, but I just needed to write something.