How did you get "over" the last person you were in "love" with?

[Juliet]

Ten years and counting... Sounds pathetic, I know.

 

[Frodothelost]

How long did it take before you stopped constantly thinking about him/her? Details please.

if love was strong then you cannot, if you hate him/her now for some reason then ignore what he/she did with you. why do you wanna choose pain way? listen you can but its hard work how to do it in some easy steps here we go:-
1.create calender
2.tick daily in one day how many times did you think
3.dont stay alone anywhere
4.use youtube
5.delete and remove his/her alll data
6.dont think anymore about him/her.
7.make friends (even your sick,not intrested,)
8.hug your all friends at all you also can kiss them
9.stay night with them just once
10.think that ( your ex was pathetice and whore) i dont really think that you can think like this
11.make yourself attractive
12.you know what? human can love anyone even they have real love with them its the weakness of being human and i guess you can forget and fall again in love with anyone.


but true love is unforgetable you cant forget i want you to hook up him/her again. if you feel happy in love then why you wanna forget ? if matter is weird or big then pm me tell me correctly in details i'll help you though.
and its nice to meet you if your new here then welcome to the forum.^_^

---

Short the words,
and long the days.
The feelings pass,
but memories stay.
Their voices wind,
which blow away.

Their faces all forgotten.

And then there are those,
who hurt you still,
their faces stay,
and come what will,

their memories never forgotten.

wow! agree here

 

[Wanderer145]

Been 3 years. It's lessened over time...I've had no one since then. I said to myself, after last year when I cut off contact, that I would rebuild myself and not to be scared of things. I went travelling I saw that outside of my country life is so different, I met many many people had experiences that changed me and now I'm seeking to further it by living abroad. I still remember somethings about her, but they only bring a feeling of indifference. I do remember what was good and mostly what was bad. I don't know what she's doing now haven't seen her in 2 years. She could be married, have children on another guy from the one I checked last...it really doesnt mean anything anymore. I may unblock her on all social media when I'm happy with life and love someone new, just to find out what she's doing with her life, but that won't be for a long time.

Where I am now, I feel better about life like I am only starting my journey and I have a long way to go. I'm not sure how long this will go on, maybe I'll never fall in love again because I know what it was like, it was the real thing to share your hopes, dreams, life with someone. I'm making a plan for myself now with no one else factored in.

---

Ten years and counting... Sounds pathetic, I know.

It's not. Don't think that way. You must have really loved them, and they must have been unique enough for you to remember them after all this time.

 

[Morse Code]

Moving across the country and losing people through death who were far more important to me helped, but not in the right way I suppose.

 

[jj983]

With my most recent, it's been a bit over two months and counting, but I'm definitely thinking of her less and less. Mostly it came down to recognizing that she wasn't good for or to me and that she ultimately chose her addictions over me and that it's not a reflection on me. It doesn't hurt that I've also started dating some again, with no real expectations, though one girl I'm going on a third date with tomorrow, and she seems really neat, so I'm a bit optimistic there.

But to answer your question: every relationship is different and every person is different. The best you can do is remove him or her from your life as much as is possible so at least you're not being constantly reminded.

 

[Peaches]

many years ago I found a really good method to overcome a huge crush:

I was always dreaming of this guy who let me down, every night and I was so depressed at waking.
So I went to the video store and got all the best horror movies in history, and took a holiday to watch 3 to 5 of them per day.
After some days I was having horrible nightmares with chainsaws and masks but I wouldn't dream of that guy anymore, so I started recovering.
This is a bit extreme, I know.

 

[ardour]

There's been a series of crushes that left me feeling hopeless, particularly when I found out the person had no respect for me at all.

Sometimes it requires some plain old character and maturity to deal with these situations gracefully, something I lack. The bitterness keeps eating at me.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I haven't. The wounds from late 2013 and lasting all of last year are still as fresh now as they were then. I still remember all the sweet things she used to say, the way she used to be with me, always wanting to talk to me. I still hope she'll break up with that dirtbag. I spent all of last year hoping that, though. I get by telling myself that people break up all the time. I still want her to come back and say that it was all a terrible mistake but that she's back now. I still plan to talk to her again, when I have more going for me and can look like I have my life together more. And once I am strong enough to talk to her. The last time I tried was November, but the things she said sent me into a storm of anger, hatred, and sadness which lasted for days. I simply don't have time to feel that way right now, so I'm putting off talking to her indefinitely.

Sometimes I just want to tell her to burn in hell and block her on all my social media and delete all of our conversations and make it like she never existed. But I don't because sometimes I just want her to go back to how we used to be, all night talks, all the sweet things she'd say. I keep telling myself, she could break up. She could get bored of him someday. Maybe we could reconnect if I ever address all of the issues she had with me that kept me from being more than a friend to her. I don't want to throw that chance away, however small it may be. I have to keep hoping, because there's no one better to replace her with.

The thing is, even if she did become free once more, even if she started up telling me sweet things like she used to, I just don't know if I could trust her ever again.

 

[jaguarundi]

I haven't. The wounds from late 2013 and lasting all of last year are still as fresh now as they were then. I still remember all the sweet things she used to say, the way she used to be with me, always wanting to talk to me. I still hope she'll break up with that dirtbag. I spent all of last year hoping that, though. I get by telling myself that people break up all the time. I still want her to come back and say that it was all a terrible mistake but that she's back now. I still plan to talk to her again, when I have more going for me and can look like I have my life together more. And once I am strong enough to talk to her. The last time I tried was November, but the things she said sent me into a storm of anger, hatred, and sadness which lasted for days. I simply don't have time to feel that way right now, so I'm putting off talking to her indefinitely.

Sometimes I just want to tell her to burn in hell and block her on all my social media and delete all of our conversations and make it like she never existed. But I don't because sometimes I just want her to go back to how we used to be, all night talks, all the sweet things she'd say. I keep telling myself, she could break up. She could get bored of him someday. Maybe we could reconnect if I ever address all of the issues she had with me that kept me from being more than a friend to her. I don't want to throw that chance away, however small it may be. I have to keep hoping, because there's no one better to replace her with.

The thing is, even if she did become free once more, even if she started up telling me sweet things like she used to, I just don't know if I could trust her ever again.

Uh-oh! Looks like you are going for the "it takes 2 years to get over a break-up" scenario...

Simple rules for breakup,

1) go cold turkey if possible .. no contact of any kind and no trying to be friends.It hurts too much. Maybe sometime in the future, but not while its raw.

2) think about all the things that you didn't like about the person and what wasn't working in the relationship.

3)Park what you did like until you are over them and can think about it without pain.

4) use the anger to get fit/spring clean your house/de-clutter your attic.. Anything that's positive and useful and gives you a feeling f accomplishment.

5) if you catch yourself dwelling on it all too much, firmly but gently tell youself to STOP, and think or do something else for a while.

 

[ardour]

I haven't. The wounds from late 2013 and lasting all of last year are still as fresh now as they were then. I still remember all the sweet things she used to say, the way she used to be with me, always wanting to talk to me. I still hope she'll break up with that dirtbag. I spent all of last year hoping that, though. I get by telling myself that people break up all the time. I still want her to come back and say that it was all a terrible mistake but that she's back now. I still plan to talk to her again, when I have more going for me and can look like I have my life together more. And once I am strong enough to talk to her. The last time I tried was November, but the things she said sent me into a storm of anger, hatred, and sadness which lasted for days. I simply don't have time to feel that way right now, so I'm putting off talking to her indefinitely.

Sometimes I just want to tell her to burn in hell and block her on all my social media and delete all of our conversations and make it like she never existed. But I don't because sometimes I just want her to go back to how we used to be, all night talks, all the sweet things she'd say. I keep telling myself, she could break up. She could get bored of him someday. Maybe we could reconnect if I ever address all of the issues she had with me that kept me from being more than a friend to her. I don't want to throw that chance away, however small it may be. I have to keep hoping, because there's no one better to replace her with.

The thing is, even if she did become free once more, even if she started up telling me sweet things like she used to, I just don't know if I could trust her ever again.

So bitterness towards her might be a reason for certain themes throughout your posts over the last year.

Go cold turkey. She doesn't sound like the kind of person you could ever have trusted anyway.

 

[Ioann]

Time, just time.

Initially, I acted in a completely irrational way, and I am very embarrassed to think about it now. Love was replaced with a strange combination of love and hate, usually depending on how drunk I was when I decided to text him. What a mess.

But the months turned to years, and I began to see my own foolishness, and his psychopathic tendencies - I wasn't the first person, by a long run, whose heart he had broken. Last month, as I was going through my address book to write Christmas cards, I finally took him out. No idea if it was a current address. It was more a recognition that I will never need or want to contact him than anything more significant, more 'what's the point of having old addresses for people I no longer know' than anything else. But this is over 12 years after the event. I live in a different part of the country. He is probably married and probably has kids, I don't know for sure and really genuinely don't care.

Time just gives you perspective, and things that seemed so important once really don't any more. Or so I have found.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Each person I have loved has been dealt with a different way, as both of them were different.
The first person I loved (still do love him, actually), it was just a time thing. I had to wait and stop blaming myself for what happened. It was neither my fault nor his, it just happened.
The second person (still love him too), well, it was a time thing, but not like the first. I had to stop deluding myself that he was the same person I first fell in love with. He was a completely different person than that man. I had to realize that it wasn't really so much that I wanted HIM, but more that I wanted the man I once knew. Once I realized he wasn't that man anymore and was likely never going to be that man, it was easy. Granted, there was a little more to getting over him than that, but I won't mention the rest.

 

[Lonesome2]

Stop communicating with the person, create activities in your life to keep you buzy and then just wait it out. The brain is made in a way that does forget, trust the process, its human and it happens naturally.

So true, especially about how the brain is made to not forget. There are good resources on YouTube that discusses the topic.

 

[benj]

Deleting any way of contacting them, then doing all the things I can't do when I'm tied to a relationship, then trying my best to initiate any kind of positive, new social contact is usually a pretty good three step program for me.

 

[blackdot]

From my experience, you will never get over that person unless you can find someone else to replace them with.

 

[Triple Bogey]

meet somebody new. All your thoughts and focus goes onto this new person. The other one is forgotten about pretty quickly.

 

[Serenia]

^ I highly doubt you have ever experienced real love then. To get over someone you have been in love is not so black and white.

 

[Mouse]

My ex was twice unfaithful, by which time to preserve my own self respect I said goodbye and meant it. No more hurt.

 

[Triple Bogey]

^ I highly doubt you have ever experienced real love then. To get over someone you have been in love is not so black and white.

I haven't because it involves somebody loving me and that's hardly going to happen !

 

[vstained]

It took me years to get over my ex wife or to completely stop thinking of her. I sometimes still think of her and miss her. I find this a bit wierd but will never go back to her.

Leaving my last girlfriend was easy... Near the end i realized that she is not a good person - The thought of her soul being black came to mind. This totally destroyed anything I felt for... After 6 months I left.. and I was astonished that after a week or two I didn't miss her or even think of her. Just glad to be rid of her. I'm still amazed that it was so easy leaving her... but I think if a person drives you nuts and displays really bad bratty behaviour then they make it easy for you to leave them.