how do you explain to someone your social anxiety?

[sunshinemisa]

I realized that most of my high anxiety growing up was social anxiety. Part of this was my mom telling how stupid I was and how bad my grades were(they weren't bad, high 80's low 90's) and always comparing me to her friend's kids. I realize now that all the times that I missed school due to headaches or stomaches were really social anxiety. I was so worried about how stupid I was and what everyone was thinking all the time. I'm honestly surprized that I didn't have ulcers...lol!

Now, I think the social anxiety is not as bad as before ( I really don't care what other people are thinking....almost never.....still working on it) but, I still have a hard time just being myself that I end up part wall flower part human being. This is with people I'm trying to re-connect with not with new people.

Meeting new people I'm okay with, if it turns into friendship, great. If not it's their loss.

How do you explain or do you explain about social anxiety?

 

[Masson]

I usually don't , people tend to not understand such problems and either start taking pitty on you or even laugh at you. If I find myself having problems taking to somebody new I tell them something like " Sorry for being so silent but I've got my own problems " that may not sound so good in english but saying that in my language people will understand and just go with it.

 

[Felix]

You don't. Unless it's already a hardcore friendship, most people will not get S.A.

 

[MadMonkè]

^ agreed.

 

[Ghost Boy]

My social anxiety issues are really on a need-to-know basis and quite personal. Unless it's somehow going to affect my work, I don't see the need of mentioning to just anyone unless they are close friends or family. Even then they might not understand.

But if I were going to explain, I would say that I just get stressed out over social situations like going up in front of a class, meeting new people etc.

 

[sunshinemisa]

Thanks for your input on this.

 

[Anonymous Rex]

I have similar issues and I'm still not really sure how to explain what it feels like.

Roughly speaking, I tend to describe myself as being 'quite shy' or 'not all that confident' when it's something quite light-hearted, when explaining to a casual acquantaince.
When I've tried to explain to close friends I've chosen words more along the lines of 'I worry a lot about what people will think' or phrases to that effect.
Though I've been told a few times not to worry and just 'be myself' so maybe the full extent of what I feel isn't coming across...

 

[Lost for now]

Well I tried doing that to the last of friend I had. Back then I thought he understood. Two months later he's stopped talking to me because apparently he can't handle it.

So the answer is, no. You don't explain it to anyone other than the closest of your friends.

 

[Levit]

I try not to talk about it,but when people notice that i am somehow different,i try to explain it like this-tough luck,but i am looking forward to change myself,i am just a little quit from time to time.

 

[Kat]

I would just say "I'm shy". I assume my family knows that I have SA but I don't talk to them about it.

 

[Weretiger]

Just be honest with them, I have a social anxiety and can't stand being nervous or shy around people especially women.... I let them know I'm nervous with a joke like "You gotta forgive me I'm alittle nervous cause normally I don't talk to people as (compliment) as you" once you let them know your nervous, shy, scared, or whatever it makes things alittle easier for both of you.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I usually don't, unless they're a very understanding person. Most people do not get S.A.

 

[fuzzybutt]

I went with the idea that they're not really your friends if they just shun you like that. My family knows about it, 3-4 friends know about it. But you know you also can't just act like it's a going to ruin you for the rest of your life. That's why I am honest with them but I don't keep it in front of them all the time either.

I try to cope with it.

 

[phant0m]

Don't tell anyone, they will see u as weak and think its contagious and avoid you.

 

[fuzzybutt]

Don't tell anyone, they will see u as weak and think its contagious and avoid you.

That's bullshit. You've been telling the wrong people. I usually pick up good hints of who to tell and who not to. Just gotta think first.

 

[AskingtheEarth]

In my experience, you cannot explain social anxiety - or any other such condition - to anyone who hasn't experienced it. They are simply too closed minded and far from being intelligent enough to grasp what it's all about. And most of the time, they don't even want to. The best you're likely to get is "shut up, you're depressing me".

If I sound like a snob, it's because I am. Experience has taught me... never try to explain it!

 

[PlasticSpork]

I don't explain it. Ever. If someone ever asked me why I seemed so quiet or nervous around people, I would just shrug and say "I dunno. I think I'm just shy, I guess."
I don't think anyone would understand my SA; even the people who are supposedly 'closest' to me.

 

[AskingtheEarth]

The reason I'm so negative about this particular situation is that, I have found in life, there are three possible responses to attempting to explain depression or anxiety to someone-

A) From the fellow sufferer - "I know exactly how you feel". Which makes the conversation a bit of a waste of time, because you're not telling anyone anything new.

B) From the non-sufferer who is sympathetic - "I'm sorry, it sounds hard, I'm sure it will get better." Ok, so what has that achieved, exactly?

C) From the rest - "Oh just keep your chin up." Which translated means 'Shut up now, you're depressing me.'

 

[roguewave]

IRL I don't tell anyone. Ever.

Once they see my flightiness/awkwardness/general strangeness and still want to hang with me, I figure they are cool with it.

No. I lied. I secretly fear they will reject me after finding out how I feel and how I feel about myself, in particular. BUT the above sentence still applies to reality.

You don't have to qualify your feelings and diagnosis unless you genuinely want to. Personally, I chose not to.

 

[warewolf95]

if ive known them a bit and can get in a casual converstaion with them, ill usually find a way to artfully sneak it in that i have it.