A fairly interesting subject, I just can't pass it by. Most of us go through failed relationships at some point and adopt philosophical views on the matter after having some experience.
I am going to share my views. Not saying I am right, I may not be, I may replace my philosophy in the morning, I'm not your typical wise hermit who knows the secrets of life and everything, I'm young. But I've seen some sights and would like to think that I learned from it. Maybe I'd be helpful for some to gain an insight on how 'girls' view 'bad boys' , 'nice doormat guys' and why do they cheat on 'nice' ones. Still, question my views, I am able to be mistaken and also I tend to look at grey from an angle that makes grey turn black, considering my past, things might be overall brighter in fact. I'm going to say honeysuckle most wouldn't dare to say, such beliefs are too personal to post and may be viewed as sexist, harsh, offensive and disturbing but am I free to say anything in as much detail as I want? fresia yeah, I am. Feel free to skip my post but I now know it's pointless to live your life masked by curtain of faked opinions and good manners, having one more reason to regret how you've lived later. Cold truth stripped of etiquette and polite barriers is the only right way to speak your mind. You may scroll down to tl;dr version at any time if that'd prove to be a boring read, I know the following wall of text is going to be poorly worded and exceptionally looong. BEAR with me.
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Phrases 'bad boy' and 'nice guy' have extremely misleading adjectives attached to them for some reason. In case you haven't defined for yourself what they actually mean, I'll do that, just to clarify. A 'bad boy' isn't necessarily like "it's a chopper, baby" type. A 'nice guy' isn't generally "honey, I'm home!" type.
'Bad' boy is self-confident, strong, responsible and mature. That's what makes him attractive to people. He can be nice, reserved, mean, violent, sentimental, sarcastic, romantic, caring, faithful, pious, insane, knowledgeable, stupid and whatever else that doesn't come into conflict with self-confidence, maturity, responsibleness and strength (of will, body or both, strong presence), he may even be physically unappealing in a conventional perspective. He may be a bookworm scientist, drug addict, criminal, a video game 'pro', anything.
'Nice' guys possess more than one of the following: self-doubt/insecurity/low self-confidence, physical/temperamental weakness, irresponsibleness (not able to face problems head on), immaturity. Even intellect, wit, or good looks can not compensate for those in long term. 'Nice' guy may end up married with kids or in a relationship when he's at risk of his wife/partner cheating on him with one of the 'bad' boys, what's funny is that she generally isn't able to control herself (will explain why in a bit) and you know what two people who want to fresia are going to do. They may even love each other behind 'nice' guy's back, they may share a bottle of wine and kiss gently under the moon if you know what I mean.
How does it feel to know that she may abandon you as easily as I snap my fingers just because she is female and you are not male enough for her?
Sorry for possible wound salting, but I believe there is great strength to be drawn from defeat.
Let's see why women are attracted to 'bad' boys. I'll analyze this in detail, have nothing better to do.
Ahem, excuse me, but have you seen what stray cats do before *******? M chases F proving his determination and speed, F gives M the look in the eye and M doesn't back off proving his confidence and will, F may attack M and M'd have to dominate F physically showing his strength and toughness, then they do it. What purpose does that chasing/fighting ritual serve? Healthy kittens. No sentiments, only unforgiving realities of wild nature, F just 'wants' (as much as a cat could consciously want something) to be sure that M has good genes. Survival of the fittest also means that no weak specimens would have a chance to reproduce, wildlife has no condoms or birth control. Another quick example, a pack of wolves. To put it simply, alpha wolf has all the 'bitches' while less imposing members of the pack are 'plotting' to overthrow the leader once he's wounded or otherwise weakened (being diseased or old). Those who are not capable of taking on the current most powerful wolf are not allowed to breed.
Now, before I continue, I must confess that I'm not religious, I believe in evolution of species, not in divine creation of human being, so if you have different beliefs know that I'm not saying my theory is the ultimate truth.
With that said, let's talk humans, we are a lot more complex.
Stone Age or whatever is considered really ancient time period of human history, let's say long long time ago. How do you think a caveman would 'date' and 'woo' a cavelady? He'd approach the one who he considers most attractive which actually means healthy (!, notice how views on beauty changed over periods of history). Then he'd say his "Blarggh! Tumba, gaaaH!" as a witty pick-up line and would drag her off using crude stone weapon as a tool of persuasion if needed.
1. Self-confidence.
Other self-confident cavemen would surely confront him. Then he'd roar with furious anger at them or strike the ground with his club repeatedly, basically an intimidating move. If among his opponents would be an individual confident enough not to pussy out and face our caveman, they'd fight and the more strong and agile one would acquire the 'booty'.
2. Strength of body and will, strong presence.
Now, a cavelady cannot hunt, cannot fend off predators, what she's naturally proficient to do is tending to little cavekids and hearth. So the caveman is expected to bring a share of mammoth meat and furs regularly to cavehome, defend the cavefamily against the sabertooths and evil raiding cavemen. If he's unsuccessful in that he's supposed to take the blame for it and try harder. If not, his cavekids would starve, his cavewife would be raped or taken and his continual reproduction would halt.
3. Responsibleness.
Next, a caveman would not be respectably skilled hunter or warrior if most of his time he spends banging rocks together playing Rockémon, daydreaming about how he'd become a High Dugunda of Bagumba tribes or chasing butterflies across the ancientelope pastures.
4. Maturity.
These are four essential manly qualities that both men and women are attracted to. Thousands upon thousands of years have made these traits highly appealing in a male (other attributes are attractive in females but that's another story).
Imagine you are a disgruntled medieval peasant. If there would be a revolt who'd you rather follow as your leader, whom would you trust your life, a 'nice' friendly village lad or a hardened renegade knight?
In modern times you no longer need 'bad' boy traits to be able to support your 'cavelady' and 'cavekids'. But that doesn't mean that modern humans (girls and boys both) are not attracted to 'bad' boys still to this day. That may possibly change, but not during our lifetimes, generations would have to be born, pass and born anew. And still in most societies a powerful individual can take what's yours at will if you're nothing more than a 'nice' guy, if you'd rather go down without a 'fight'. The truth is, if people perceive you as 'strong' and 'confident' they won't even attempt to steal your girlfriend and she would be a lot less prone to being 'swept off her feet' by a 'bad' boy for as long as she feels that you're, to put it simply, manly enough yourself. When you're crossing a border of a certain country I'd rather not name they'd turn all the bags inside out skipping only yours and your girfriend's, because you look confident and secure on the outside, aware of your supposed human rights, even if under the veil you feel intense terror knowing that militaristic authoritarian police states' borders are classified national security sites, no journalists allowed here and nothing about your and her fate would leave the boundaries of border control building, besides there's nowhere to run and those AK's are pretty **** reliable and can tear you to shreds, anything can happen to both of you here. But you don't falter and they let you through, they know they would have less protected females than your girlfriend to abuse if they want to, like those unfortunate girls that are being trafficked on a regular basis. Don't deny your inner masculinity, cease being a boy, become a man and you're going places, I promise. It's up to you if you want it. Who am I to say what's good for you, eh? Maybe being less manly has more merit for some, manchildren are free to enjoy their own exclusive fun of escapism, no sarcasm here intended, I sincerely mean it. It is also generally more safe.
Wait a moment. It feels like I'm regarding women as separate species. Not true by all means. Distinctions between genders are minimal. No differences in the way we think, act and feel. Depends solely on a person, not gender as a whole, there are aggressive, confident, strong and seasoned women out there, as well as quiet, romantic, gentle or naive men.
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Finally, The END! I feel like I could expand more on the topic, but I'm frankly too drained to do this now. All of the above is nothing more than my humble opinion and is subject to be altered on a whim, so take it lightly, I didn't mean to offend anyone here. I just hope that it'd provide helpful insight or a "kick up the ass" to some random soul who was bored enough to manage reading the long version. And by the way, let me mention for those feeling despaired and desperate that there are other kinds of relationship foundations besides traditional man-woman. Like when a girl wants manchild and a guy needs mommy, but let's leave exceptions for another time.
tl;dr
Nice guys are underrated, sadly.
