I know you're mad, I know feeling unlucky can make a person feel mad, and I think it's OK to be mad at a lack of luck, especially when you see people get lots of luck, and instead of appreciating it, act bad anyway - but wanting women to suffer doesn't make sense if it's a relationship you're ultimately looking for. It's just going to make more of what you don't want, and it's just going to make you feel madder and more hopeless.
I think you're misdirecting your anger. You're putting it on something concrete, like women, instead of something abstract, like bad luck. It's a thing that happens, it's easier to get mad at something tangible in the real world, than an abstract idea.
For now, just try to block out the bad examples, forget them. And focus on the good ones if you can.
It's best to just ignore the women that choose thugs and criminals, unless you can see that these women have learned from the experience and have a change of heart. But a lot who choose that kind of person don't change their minds, so it's best not to try to figure it out. I've noticed that the ones that choose that kind of guy, usually have common beliefs/values with that kind of person that I don't share, and I don't think I can change myself to fit with them. And eventually I realized I didn't want to, either. Once I realized that I stopped wanting to fit myself to people that have views I don't like, cause I feel like I'd never be able to be at ease with them, never be able to let down my guard.
You can't "fix" that kind of person, they have to either figure it out on their own, or not. It's best not to worry about it.
(although i think i need to change in some ways, that are beneficial anyway and what i should have been doing in the first place, that might make me more compatible with people i otherwise wouldnt be)
I was quiet too - still am, somewhat. I think a lot about how I turned out this way, to try to fix it.
You also said "harmless" and I think that's a good point. Don't be harmless. It doesnt mean be a thug, but maybe exercise some if you don't already. You'll be stronger (and less harmless), and feel better about yourself, feel more confident in your strength and looks - it will sort of create a positive feedback loop that will make you more confident going forward.
Also try to cultivate something else about you so that the first thing people think of, when they think of you, isnt "quiet and harmless". I'm trying to figure this out now myself, it's hard, but it seems to be the only way.
I don't LIKE that it is so hard, I wish it weren't, but I want out, badly. Idk. just some thoughts to consider, some things i've figured out on my own that i thought i'd pass along.
How many here are autistic¿
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TheSkaFish
Jedi Guardian
I really don't think that's a good idea, and I don't think it's going to get you what you want either. I was just trying to help with my earlier post. Maybe give it a glance when you're less heated. I feel like I know where you're coming from but it's not going to work this way.
TheSkaFish
Jedi Guardian
Anyway, I randomly stumbled across this video last night, and I thought it might fit here:
TheRealCallie
Princess Pink Love
Yes, I'm sure that's exactly where the problem lies and has nothing to do with your negativity.
If a group of people ruined the quality of your life you would want them to suffer and if i can find ways to make women suffer i do. Its a wonderful pleasure to give women some of the suffering they have caused me. Its all i can have and i don't want to loose it.
TheRealCallie
Princess Pink Love
No actually, I wouldn't. I worry about my own **** life, not everyone else on the planet who have supposedly "wronged" me. That's just giving them power, I have more important honeysuckle to do.
Yes well that's you, If people make me suffer i want them to suffer. Thats not giving them power its pleasure.
I know your trying to be helpful and i appreciate that you have some humanity unlike the other cruel bastards on here but i am sick of men making excuses and putting women first, i love giving women their own medicine its a wonderful pleasure and if that all i can have then i want to keep it. Everyone needs some pleasure in life.
i agree with myself
Well said me , i agree with you
TheSkaFish
Jedi Guardian
It's not making excuses. The game is lousy, I know. But it's not going to get any better with this approach. You're not sticking it to anyone like this. If anything, you're just giving them more of what they want, by acting like what they want you to be. Social "insiders" love to see an angry outcast, an angry "nerdy" guy. They want you to be all mad like this, so they can call you a loser, call you entitled, say that it's cause you can't compete, you're not good enough, they're better than you, you need to know your place/resign yourself to your limits, etc. and feel all smug, self righteous, and superior about it, and lord it over you.
Don't give them the satisfaction. Stop playing into their hand.
You're not going to win by playing on their terms, playing their game.
The people that rejected you are probably just jerks. But knowing that, would you really have wanted to be with them anyway? Once I realized there was nothing going on in the popular scene that I even would have liked, I no longer felt shut out, like I was some kind of second class citizen. They may have seen me that way but it didnt make it true.
The thing to remember is, not everyone is those people. Not everyone is a jerk. That's the start.
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xephier102
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I get get exhausting at times, to toss pearls before swine (so to speak).. But as I've often said on forums, the primary (often overlooked) function of them, is conversation, when every thread is pin-holed to a specific subject, it can become difficult to have a decent flow of conversation. So I'm not opposed to de-railing a bit, so long as the content remains intellectual and respectable. And it doesn't hurt to touch back on the main topic (as I did in my previous post) now and then just to add more insight to it.
While I'm sure that many of us on this forum have been here, and wanted to blurt out exactly what you're saying, it certainly doesn't garner much fanfare. It may be largely true, however it does run on a case by case basis, and the women that don't fall into that category, are bound to take offense; in the same way I do when people abuse/misuse the word 'incel'.
That is to say, not every woman is a stuck up B, in the same way that not every man is a walking hard-on. Though society certainly does push for both..
It should be remembered that anger often brews from frustration that stems from the deep despair felt from our darker experiences. And so, as we proved in previous conversations, showing contempt towards another's suffering, is often not the best solution.
Besides, what he said could also be interpreted as 'I wish that women could feel the pain that I have had to experience, so as they could relate to it and in turn, be more empathetic towards that type of suffering.'
As well, from my experience and research, men that are abusive are often so because of the way that society raises women to reject a lot of them, and raises men to worship them. Like the 'white knight' treatment that so many of them detest, and the normalization of the (rather archaic) courting process. The entire issue of women getting abused, has been quite polarizing, and has caused the few men that speak out against the other inequalities, to not be taken seriously.
But if more focus was put on the root issues, then the issues that stem from them would not be nearly as common. All it takes is for women to be aware and accepting of the issues on the other side, and to do their part not to make them worse. Although sadly, I don't see that happening anytime soon, as the main method to reach enough people to make a real difference, is through the mainstream media, and since men (especially white men) are not exactly politically popular; it is highly unlikely that those issues will begin being brought up in the content we watch/play, within the foreseeable future (at least not in more than a niche format)..
It's clear he's quite frustrated, and I doubt he's used anything close to the ideal articulation in his wording. That is to say, I imagine by 'thugs and criminals' he meant to include abusers, sex fiends, one night stands, the types of guys that send dick pics .etc. Basically, any detestable knuckle dragger type. And sadly, women are largely conditioned towards those types from an early age.. I mean, when you overhear women talk about finding a man with her friends/acquaintances, the response is pretty much never "OMG, is he smart and good to talk to??". But is almost always "OMG, is he HAWT??", or *giggle*"does he have a big D..?". and that behavior is 'normal'..
Not to say that guys are much better, the diff being that when push comes to shove, a lot of guys are all talk in that area, since we don't have nearly the pool of options that women do.
Like, you might hear a guy tell his friends "Oh yea, I tell her how it is!","I keep a leash on my woman!", but then when you go over to his house one day, that attitude takes a quick downward curve, and every response outta his mouth is "Yes dear...".
Incidentally, just popped into my head.. That trope on television about when a couple gets into a fight; do you think the woman is ever the one that has to go sleep on the couch, or ends up 'in the dog house'? nope. Men are the ones being conditioned to obey..
Like I've said, I know women have their issues as well, but statistically speaking when it comes to the largest of those issues; they're often having them because of the issues that men have to deal with (not saying this because of gender bias or gender based prioritizing). It's the domino, or butterfly effect. Like if you're a woman walking through a mall with your dude, and someone whacks into him, then he knocks into you, and sends you flying, then you tear his head off. That is effectively what is happening between the primary genders in society right now..
I'm sure we both know it's not that simple. As most women are geared into that mindset, it's left men like us on the sidelines, and that can become very all-consuming..
Have you been listening to Jordan Peterson?
You would need to get a professional opinion on that, but from what I've heard from you so far, it wouldn't be a stretch. Are you able to talk to a psychologist? I would recommend it if you can. As I've said, it's much better knowing, and you won't receive better validation.
Yes, I do believe a friendship could be mutually beneficial in more ways than one (I hope that didn't sound sexual, lol..).
xephier102
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Yes, echo chambers, that's how we should all handle our issues XD.
xephier102
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Is true.. Society is messed.. The way that we demonize so many, while ignoring the root causes of their actions.. It's like rushing into a raging fire to fan the flames..
And that is a difficult one to be sure.. When all you've ever felt is rejection and neglect, attempting to see the good in people is like attempting to make a solid object out of literally nothing.
xephier102
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This may help, or not, either way it's quite catchy..
xephier102
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That may be you, but tbh, a lot of the jaded/vocal feminists out there are pushing towards a matriarchy in order to show men how they've been made to feel. Besides, if there is a group of people out there that are conditioned to act in a way that hurts another group, being vocal about it (in the right way) , can be helpful to both you, and the other members of your group. I know I reference it a lot, but racism is an accurate correlation. You wouldn't tell a black person that's been called the N word, to just worry about themselves.
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