How many relationships have you had??

[August Campbell]

How many relationships have you had? From what I've heard, it seems that two is normal or usual. That's the number I've had, so I guess I'm part of the normal or usual crowd. Another question is how many relationships have you had before you struck on a successful one? That is, if you were successful. Of course everybody is different so I'm interested in the demographics.

 

[Unsigned]

Zero

 

[TheSkaFish]

Zero.

Another "fun" fact - I just realized lately that I've been unhappy for almost half my life now.
Soon I'll cross over the threshold, and I will have been unhappy for more than I've been happy in my life.
And it's not "cool" grunge misunderstood genius unhappiness, it's more the "I don't want to do anything, nothing is going to make my life better so I don't care about anything" unhappiness.

I think that's a big part of why my relationship number has been zero. Most of my happy years were childhood, before puberty and before dating and relationships were on my mind. For most of the years that I've been biologically mature, I've also been unhappy, didn't feel like I could get good at anything, struggled to get interested in anything, just felt unhappy about my life in general. I went from feeling like the world was going to end in my lifetime so I might as well give up, to feeling like maybe the world wasn't going to end but rather the problem was that I couldn't get good enough at anything to be successful in life, so it was hard for me to muster much enthusiasm for anything. Everything felt like something I couldn't have, couldn't do, wasn't good enough for, wouldn't do anything for me, was for someone else. So it was hard for me to like anything enough to want to do anything, or even to learn enough about it to be able to talk about it.

I wish I could be good at something, especially something I like, and also be in skilled work.
Then I could at least be OK with myself, and maybe even a little bit happy knowing I have some strength.
Then maybe I could get interested in things again, and maybe someone might like me.
I can only hope so.

 

[okidoke]

Define "relationships" as far as your OP is concerned.

 

[ardour]

None. 40 something (shudder), straight male.

Feels like I'm near the vanguard of a growing number of awkward men who chose to withdraw and waste their youth on escapes, finding themselves in older adulthood with less experience than what used to be an average 20 year old. It's already a familiar story. Just another loser whining invisibly online.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I’ve had 3 but really just 2 worth counting.

 

[randomguy]

I've had six that I'd term relationships, but it's early yet and I've had asparagus and oysters for breakfast so who knows what the day will bring

 

[okidoke]

@August Campbell have you forgotten about this thread?

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

In an entire lifetime, 7 or 8. After the age of 18, 2 or 3 of the total 7 or 8.

This probably looks like a strange spread to people, but to clarify:
I was with the same woman from 16 to 24.
That should clarify the weird spread.

After that relationship fell through, I stayed single for 4 years, dated another one of those girls for about 2 or 3 years, stayed single for a while after that,

The majority of my dating happened in my childhood in my teens.
However, even then I really didn't date much.
I didn't really know how to talk to girls in my teens, I was more shy and insecure in my introversion than I am now.
Whereas now, I'm neither shy nor insecure in my introversion, it's moreso just a matter of risk assessment to my future that I'm less social than I used to be.

 

[WillPower]

Zero for me as well. Haven't given up though.

 

[August Campbell]

@August Campbell have you forgotten about this thread?

But I thank you for remembering. lol

 

[okidoke]

But I thank you for remembering. lol

Well you haven’t responded or reacted to anyone’s answers so I wondered.

Can you answer the first question I asked back further up then?

 

[Cherubino]

deleted

 

[Cherubino]

Zero

proudly one (all or one is my policy ... in your case zero is all)

 

[August Campbell]

Well you haven’t responded or reacted to anyone’s answers so I wondered.

Can you answer the first question I asked back further up then?

Ohh sorry I neglected to answer your first question. So to answer your first question, what I meant by relationship is intimacy. Because in both of my relationships, both of them began as just tennis partners. At that point, it was not relationships but instead as tennis partners only. That's what it was intended for in the first place, and that's all I wanted. So it was the two ladies who initiated the relationships, that is, made the tennis partnership develop into a relationship. In the case of Marisa, it was actually a Male friend, Paul, who instigated it. Because one day when Marisa and I were together, he openly said to us that Marisa and I have a relationship. I believe he was only joking or teasing me. But that gave Marisa the so-called "bright idea" that it was a actual relationship. So the next time I got together with Marisa, she had suddenly begun wearing a dress and makeup. Until then, she had only worn t-shirt and denim pants. But right after Paul's offhand remark, she began wearing a dress and makeup. I don't want to blame Paul, but he instigated it. No, I'm not mad at him at all. After all, Marisa was fun. But too much for me to handle.

 

[okidoke]

I’ve had five intimate relationships. Most before I was 25, of which two seemed to be without issue until the breakup, and I was the one who called it off for one of those. Then I got married at 30 after about three years. During one “separation” back in 2019, I had a short relationship with a woman, with the blessing of my estranged wife and kids, but the woman turned out to be a bit of a nut, even by her own admission, and I gave up altogether trying to find someone else after several dismal attempts at dating. Eventually my wife and I have reconciled and attempted to make it work over the past few years. We’re pretty much just platonic friends, have little in common, but we’re there for each other emotionally if needed. I have no idea how it will pan out. I just live day to day.

 

[Unsigned]

I’ve had five intimate relationships. Most before I was 25, of which two seemed to be without issue until the breakup, and I was the one who called it off for one of those. Then I got married at 30 after about three years. During one “separation” back in 2019, I had a short relationship with a woman, with the blessing of my estranged wife and kids, but the woman turned out to be a bit of a nut, even by her own admission, and I gave up altogether trying to find someone else after several dismal attempts at dating. Eventually my wife and I have reconciled and attempted to make it work over the past few years. We’re pretty much just platonic friends, have little in common, but we’re there for each other emotionally if needed. I have no idea how it will pan out. I just live day to day.

Honestly, it sounds better than being alone.

 

[okidoke]

Honestly, it sounds better than being alone.

But I do feel alone. My wife is just sharing the house with me, that is all. I guess you'd have to be in my situation to understand. Believe me, we've tried to make our relationship better with counsellors, courses, other ideas, all instigated by me, but it just never seems to take. Weird thing is, over the years she's bought several books on "improving your relationship with your man" and it hasn't helped her. Anyway, age seems to have defeated me now.

 

[user 139760]

I've had 5 serious ones. I'm counting relationship as when we got beyond the position nt of sleeping together. I did date another girl a few months, but it didn't go beyond kissing, she ended up being way too weird for me and a compulsive liar.
Which, to me, sucks. The original plan was to date onky one girl and live happily ever after. Alas...

 

[Running Alone]

54 yrs old, 2 relationships (each lasted roughly 2 years as well). Not a very promising record...but hey, you only need it to work right once, no? I'm not looking to break any records for volume.