How not to get angry when you are being ingored

[Restless soul]

So what's the lesson learned today?

 

[TheRealCallie]

I don't know what lesson you learned today. I would hope that it's not to go by words, intuition or vibes, but rather look at actions. They will tell you all you need to know.

If someone wanted to be in your life, they would be. Go find someone who DOES want to be in your life instead of focusing on those that clearly don't. Don't dismiss people because they think you might look like someone else. It's usually not an insult on their end. Manage your insecurities, your feelings, your reactions. Think before you act.

 

[Restless soul]

I don't know what lesson you learned today.  I would hope that it's not to go by words, intuition or vibes, but rather look at actions.  They will tell you all you need to know.  

If someone wanted to be in your life, they would be.  Go find someone who DOES want to be in your life instead of focusing on those that clearly don't.  Don't dismiss people because they think you might look like someone else.  It's usually not an insult on their end.  Manage your insecurities, your feelings, your reactions.  Think before you act.

Well I think you meant to say is not to only go on, intuition, instinct and vibes. Because we need to use that too in everyday life. Now by actions, that could mean body language and communication. Or in this case lack there of.

As far as when being told i look like someone else. That is so major. Had that problem so long. It seems like the immposible to overcome because if it happend now or in a hour from now I know I would have the same freak out reaction and that is the troubleing part.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Of course you should use your intuition and all that. BUT, actions of others nearly always trumps those things. That's what I mean. If someone says they had a good time and you felt they had a good time, but they don't talk to you anymore, that action indicates that it wasn't that good for them.

Can you show me someone that you would get angry over if you were compared to?

Oh, and how's the mood? Ready to show me your picture yet? lol

 

[Restless soul]

I don't get so much angry when compared to others.
It's such a deep seated issue. With self- image. So hard to over come. Get anxious, depressed. Funny thing is it can have a opposite outcome if someone compared me with someone I considered attractive its very subjective of course. Here is an example. Like if you had the choice to be compared to rosie odonell or some average celeb. Idk who is average? Lady gaga?
Yet you don't consider any of them attractive. So you wouldn't want to hear you look like either, maybe lady gaga vs rosie.
But, you would still prefer sandra bullock to both.

 

[TheRealCallie]

But that's the thing.  YOU don't consider them attractive, but that doesn't mean other people don't. 


Do you consider these guys good looking? 

[img=250x500]https://s24.postimg.org/7i0aikzrp/tumblr_m3kq9x_Bs_JT1rsktoso1_500.jpg[/img]

 

[Restless soul]

But that's the thing.  YOU don't consider them attractive, but that doesn't mean other people don't. 


Do you consider these guys good looking? 

[img=250x500]https://s24.postimg.org/7i0aikzrp/tumblr_m3kq9x_Bs_JT1rsktoso1_500.jpg[/img]

Guy on far right. Yes. The guy on left not sure why people make a big deal About him. So where you getting at?

 

[TheRealCallie]

What am I getting at? The only one of those three that I find attractive and good looking is the middle one. Yeah, the one on the right has a nice body, but his eyes are dead, IMO, that, to me, makes him not good looking.
And I don't see the obsession with the guy on the left either. Never did.

---

So, it's not all about how you perceive someone else. Not everyone sees beauty the same way. So when someone says you look like someone, that doesn't mean that you are ugly just because YOU don't think the person is attractive. The person doing the comparing could be telling you that they think you're sexy.

 

[Restless soul]

What am I getting at? The only one of those three that I find attractive and good looking is the middle one.  Yeah, the one on the right has a nice body, but his eyes are dead, IMO, that, to me, makes him not good looking.  
And I don't see the obsession with the guy on the left either.  Never did.

So you would be in minority there. Because most people would consider the guy in middle average looking.

 

[TheRealCallie]

What am I getting at? The only one of those three that I find attractive and good looking is the middle one.  Yeah, the one on the right has a nice body, but his eyes are dead, IMO, that, to me, makes him not good looking.  
And I don't see the obsession with the guy on the left either.  Never did.

So you would be in minority there. Because most people would consider the guy in middle average looking.

That's my point though.  There are more people in the minority than you realize.  So why not give them a chance....even if you don't agree with them?

---

So this guy....if someone said you look like him, would that be an insult or a compliment?  It sounds like you don't think he's good looking, but you know most of the world does....

 

[Restless soul]

What am I getting at? The only one of those three that I find attractive and good looking is the middle one.  Yeah, the one on the right has a nice body, but his eyes are dead, IMO, that, to me, makes him not good looking.  
And I don't see the obsession with the guy on the left either.  Never did.

So you would be in minority there. Because most people would consider the guy in middle average looking.

That's my point though.  There are more people in the minority than you realize.  So why not give them a chance....even if you don't agree with them?

---

[quote pid='833828' dateline='1486763434']
So this guy....if someone said you look like him, would that be an insult or a compliment?  It sounds like you don't think he's good looking, but you know most of the world does....

---

[/quote]

No - i can deal. Because a. I dont think he is ugly. Been touted as a sex symbol. Has some what would be considered nice facial features.  And by the way when someone compares ne to others. They are not usually doing it because they think or like how the other person looks. They just do it to do it. Guy or girl. Sometimes guys. Sometimes they compare me to someone I never even saw. And that bothers me equally as much.

 

[TheRealCallie]

They do it because you remind them of that person. That's not always a bad thing, that's what you need to realize.

 

[Restless soul]

They do it because you remind them of that person.  That's not always a bad thing, that's what you need to realize.

Yeah. That is a problem. If I can go through life never being compared to another person ( looks wise ) i would be perfectly ok. Would relieve a lot of anxiety actually

 

[Restless soul]

To bring this thread back on topic, callie and all others of course welcome to chime in. 

Do you have people, maybe contacts in your phone that you long to be in contact with again and see. Ans can't help youself and still contact them after futile attempts only to be left in silence?

 

[TheRealCallie]

I have quite a few people in my phone that I don't talk to nearly as much as I used to. Every month or every two or three months, we'll talk to each other, get caught up and then go again not talking. If there's someone in my phone that does not talk to me at all, even when I text them, I delete them from my phone.

 

[MisterLonely]

To bring this thread back on topic, callie and all others of course welcome to chime in. 

Do you have people, maybe contacts in your phone that you long to be in contact with again and see. Ans can't help youself and still contact them after futile attempts only to be left in silence?

I don't contact anyone ever... I always feel like I'm intruding and won't want to be intrusive or a burden to anyone, I know it's part of my problems

 

[Restless soul]

that was what I was about to ask. Also these people you talk to only every three months or so, is it safe to assume you are not that close or people that you don't really care to meet often?
Was about to ask that you are able to delete these people who ignore you completely. That takes a lot of strength. Maybe that is not the right word

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

I'm the one who silences people. People on my phone can contact me in every way possible except mind to mind...Why should I be annoyed by texts.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I'm the one who silences people. People on my phone can contact me in every way possible except mind to mind...Why should I be annoyed by texts.

 

[Restless soul]

My question was as it relates to contacts you want to see have some sort of relationship with. See more than once every 3 months. But I guess you answered my question. You are able to delete the ones who ghost you. A stronger person than I am