I asked her to "hang out"

[Jesse]

Hey everyone, I need help! There's a lady I work with once a week. She's fairly new along with another lady so I left my number with them in case they had any questions on the nights I'm not there.

I'm interested in the one girl, we'll call her K. One day after work she texted me asking why I havn't been on my myspace in three months. I didn't have her as a myspace friend so she had to have looked me up on there. I responded saying I use facebook now and don't use myspace anymore. She answered back saying she didn't think I had a facebook as she had looked for me on there, but couldn't find me. I told her that my facebook is hidden, but that I would add her.

With her looking me up on those things and texting me, I took it as her being interested. After a few days of texting, I asked her if she'd like to hang out. I said hang out because I guess those are the code words these days.

She said yes. We're going to chipotle today at 5. The mall is right next to chipotle so I thought about asking her to walk through there with me after we eat. (I havnt asked her that yet...thought I would at chipotle.)

So questions...

How do I handle the bill? Do I pay? Do we split? Do I try any kind of move during or at the end of this "hang out"? I need advice!

 

[Naleena]

So questions...

How do I handle the bill? Do I pay? Do we split? Do I try any kind of move during or at the end of this "hang out"? I need advice!

Im old fashioned. You asked her out so, be a gentleman and pay the bill If you had been dating a while, it would be different.

If you enjoy her company, ask her back out. I wouldn't try to kiss her or anything. It is a first date or a first "hanging out". I don't know about other girls but, I don't like to be kissed on the first date because I don't feel I know a guy well enough to swap saliva....lol A hug goodbye would be fine Think gentlemen. Open doors, pull out chairs, and if you really like her, buy a very small box (like four) of chocolates for her. Nothing expensive but, something nice from a chocolate shop. I remember a guy that I went on a first date with who did that for me. To this day, I remember that. I thought it was so sweet
Good luck! Seems things are really going your way here lately!

 

[SophiaGrace]

So questions...

How do I handle the bill? Do I pay? Do we split? Do I try any kind of move during or at the end of this "hang out"? I need advice!

Im old fashioned. You asked her out so, be a gentleman and pay the bill If you had been dating a while, it would be different.

I echo this sentiment as you already know

 

[Jesse]

Thanks Nal and Soph! I'm really nervous as I've not done this sort of thing before. I've had some experiences, but they've been out of the ordinary types. Never had anything like a "normal" date or hang out before. I like that chocolate idea!

You're right Nal, things have been going really well.

 

[PoWer2tHePeOpLE]

i'd pay too, unless she insisted on paying her share.

i wouldn't even think about making any 'moves', i'd first just see how the time went.. you know.. if youre getting along.. enjoying the chat.. having a laugh.. if you're having a good time together that's pleny, there's no need for anything physical straight away.

good luck bro

 

[Jesse]

Good point! Thanks for the advice

 

[Jeremi]

Don't have much to add to the great advice, but I wish you good luck Jesse. You can do it! ^^

 

[Jesse]

Thanks Jeremi! Just a little over 2 hours until K and I meet up.

 

[Brian]

She said yes. We're going to chipotle today at 5.

JESSE IS CREDIT TO TEAM.

1. How do I handle the bill? Do I pay? Do we split?

2. Do I try any kind of move during or at the end of this "hang out"? I need advice!

1. Well, if you're going to pay you need to just do it and play it casual. If she says anything about it you can say something like "Not a big deal, you can get me next time." I've never been in your exact situation really, but with my workmates we frequently trade around like that.

Alternatively, I would let her order first, and see what she does. If you order first and you're going to pay for her, just follow your order with something like "..And then whatever she's getting". If she seems surprised or asks if you're sure, then you can follow with the above.

2. By the gods, no. Or at least I wouldn't. I recently had a night out with a girl and I actually tried something I've heard from you before, stretching my arms to stick an arm behind her. ...Yeah, I'm still single.

If she goes for a walk with you, and she seems comfortable, what I would do in your shoes is maybe give her lower back a brief rub (if she's in easy arms reach) when you say goodbye and that you'll see her later.

Or maybe a hug.

I wouldn't consider anything beyond that.

 

[Jesse]

Hey thanks Brian, but I've already been out and back now. I didn't see your advice until after the hang out, but thank you very much for taking the time!

Sorry my move didn't work for you lol. Hey... I didn't tell you to try it.


I had a great time. I was very open with her, letting her know I was shy and all that. It actually helped ease my nerves. I found out when I got home and looked in the mirror that I had something in my teeth from chipotle. ><

So I paid for the bill, no problems there. The person making our food asked if it was on one or two and I spoke up and said, just on one. K said, are you sure? I said yeah, played it cool and it went very smoothly. We sat at chipotle for a little until I asked her if she'd like to walk around in the mall for a little bit. We did that and she asked if I'd like to sit down on a bench in the mall. We did that and talked and had a great time.

After a little while we got up, walked a little more, and went out to our cars. I didn't try any moves, but I had good vibes the whole time.

My calculated chance of a future hangout: 90%.

 

[Brian]

Lol yeah, after I posted I saw your '2 hours to go' post from...well, several hours past Oh well.

That's awesome it went well. I've decided if I manage to score another date with a gal, I'm going to be open about my shyness too. It just seems to make sense to do so instead of trying to hide it when it's obvious which only makes it worse.

 

[Jesse]

Yeah man you should definately try that.

 

[SophiaGrace]

i'm glad it went well jesse

 

[Jesse]

Thanks SG. I asked her to hang out again... she said she'd like to but doesnt know if it'd work with our schedules being backwards.

 

[Thirteen]

Nice to hear that it went well. Good idea not trying any moves. Next time if you hang out be sure to try some small physical contacts, and see how she reacts. I've experienced that second dates are the ones that decide whether you'll drop into the friend zone or not.

 

[Coverage]

Congratulations on a good night out! As long as you like her I hope it continues to work out good for you.

 

[Jesse]

Guys, we're going out again tonight. Dinner and a movie! Gonna try to put the moves on her.

 

[Jeremi]

That's fantastic news Jesse! Sounds like a lovely evening. Hope both of you will have a great time ^^

 

[Jesse]

Thanks Jeremi. It went really well! We held hands. I can't believe it! We held hands! I can't believe this is happening! For dinner I had a medium well 6 oz steak, cornbread, toast, and a twice-baked potato. She had chicken and a baked potato. We both had a margerita.

We met at the restaurant for dinner (I gave her a hug), then took my car to the movie. In the movie we held hands and on the way out to the car. Then we went for a drive and talked! We're really getting along and she seems really interested. After the drive I took her back to her car and got another hug. She texted me afterwards saying she wanted to hang out again the next day!

So I think I've learned a few tips that I didn't before. Don't ask for a "date". Ask to "hang out". Also, don't make a movie your first hang out destination, try dinner first. It can be low-key... not a really nice place, but not a fast-food place of course... somewhere in-between. Our first time out we went to chipotle which is right by the mall. After we ate I asked her for a walk in the mall. I didn't go for any physical contact that time.

The second time around we went to a nicer restaurant followed by a movie. If you try this, maybe try meeting at the restaurant and then taking your car to the movie. Worked for me. Try to make some physical contact by the second time out. I think I was getting close to being friend zoned by not initiating contact... I was hesitant because of my fears, but I overcame them. I figured, well she's out with me a second time, she must be interested... so that gave me the courage to go for it. And it worked

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! I had to edit this post because it only allows 10 smilies in one message lol.

 

[Minus]

Sounds great Jesse