I cant make friends

[phant0m]

I dont know what it is, i just cant make it happen

 

[yesm]

it's all about exposure. think of yourself as a celestial mass with gravity. you gotta move about and find others that could possibly create an orbit with you.

your guess is as good as mine though. I've always been a loner by nature keeping one close friend or so. so in highschool i had friend... then when i had a job i had friend... now i don't have friends... old ones i try to keep in contact with but not human contact.

so... yeah, find a group or something maybe, just gotta market yourself.

i wonder what would happen if you stood on the side of the rode with a sign that said... need friends... people would probably be cruel and mean or think your an extroadanarily lonely bum :/

seriously i'd like to know how to make em myself at this point, but yeah... library maybe, join a book club... uhmm the gym.. ymca... uhmmmm.. alcoholics anonymous or any of those groups is a SURE fire way to meet folks who are in need of friendship if that's your bit... uhmm voulunteer to help out old folks or any folks... uhmmm churches and parishes are great way to meet folks if your of that persuasion... hmmmm as for what won't work is going to random public places that people who already have friends go to... usualy people in those situations are more likely to avoid you then be seeking mutual friendships or relationships. that's about the best i could come up with. I'm getting forced into going to some support group by my family so maybe that would be good for you. I dont want to do it, but at least i might get to hear people talk about their crappy lives and maybe i'll get lucky and meet some one hah. anyway good luck.

 

[phant0m]

ive done a lot of this before
volunteering - mostly full of college kids just doing it cuz they have to for school or young punks in trouble doing it cuz they have to
churches - my church and the other ones here are all very unsocial, and im not changing religions just to find a social one
ive joined the ymca recently - not sure much will happen
this city i live in sucks ass

 

[samba101]

Well last time I tried was about a few months ago everything was going okay with the email and we were going to meet up then poof! She disappeared didn't email me back or anything so I quietly gave up, decided to leave the ball in her court.

I have one friend here and the friendship is only a surface thing, I'm better off on my own but back to square one again.

When I moved here to Australia and found out about www.meetup.com I was all for it, but now my fears have kicked in and I'm afraid to go, I'm not the greatest conversationalist and although I try I have nothing much to talk about so could be seen as boring.

So I'm stuck with "trying" or "not trying", "trying and failing" or "trying and suceeding". The one thing I don't want to do is crash and burn, my self esteem is fine at the moment but I'd rather it didn't get any dents in it, another thing if I'm unhappy or uncomfortable it shows on my face and I'd hate for that to happen, plus I panic when in some situations, my reaction is to take flight as soon as I can and avoid situations like that whatever the cost.

So unlike you I'm "damned if I do" and "damned if I don't".

 

[woundedbird]

i've done tons and tons of volunteering in the past. people either are coming there as couples together, or going home to their significant one, or just too busy to even hang out for coffee after. it's lame.

 

[Von Blown]

You tend to have lots of friends when you are younger. People go their own way as they get older and find a mate to settle down with and or have children. Unless your a rich celebrity, you find it much more interesting just trying to survive and build a future for your children.

I'm 45, and other then my cousin, I only had 2 friends. And I stopped seeing them, after I got sick, (IBS constiaption and skin disease) as I was/am just to depressed to do much of anything. Except post stuff from my computer.

My 2 friends were mostly business related, as was my girlfriend, who immediatly stopped coming over once my business stopped.

I have my another old girlfriend, who liked me for myself calling. She has been in a rehab center for several years. She said her mother was letting her come back to town next month. I'd like to see her, but I don't see much of a future for myself with my medical problems.

 

[yamaha CS5]

think of yourself as a celestial mass with gravity. you gotta move about and find others that could possibly create an orbit with you.

Haha, I like that You might also want to find yourself some more debris and asteroids and such, to strengthen your pull, and once you've caught some other celestial bodies, your combined gravity will have way more potential than you could have on your own, if you know what I mean

 

[ColaFree]

This is quite an unhealthy advice but it works: Start smoking! If you see some one who looks like nice people (that are smoking), walk up to them and ask for a cigarette! If they give you one and seem friendly, have a smoke with them. Join the conversation! This is great to do at work or school because then you'll see them more or less everyday and so therefore you can smoke with them often, and slowly build a relation ship.

 

[Badjedidude]

Haha yesm, I like your celestial bodies analogy. I think it's just gravy!

ColaFree: lol yeah smoking works, but be careful not to bum too many cigs off of people...it gets old. You gotta have some supply every now and then also (especially if you don't really smoke and you want to fit in with smokers). Good idea, but to me it seems like that tactic would only work in highschool...when the novelty of smoking cigarettes is enough to draw strangers together. *shrug* lol

 

[Ridin Solo]

Great idea... have no friends? Put yourself at risk for cancer!

 

[Badjedidude]

Haha indeed. That's why I wouldn't recommend smoking as a method of friend-finding. (see my above post and notice the sarcasm--subtle, but present).

----Steve

 

[GoingInsane]

I have the same problem but worst, people hate me.

Wish I was never born into this world.

 

[Badjedidude]

I'm glad you were.

----Steve

 

[owaispoul]

I'm glad you were.

----Steve

Yeah!! Me too. You got to build some positivity in you. If you are feeling low just come to this community and have a chat with the other members I am sure you will be feel better.