under0ath
Active member
This may be pretty long, and i actually do not expect many to read much of this pathetic story. i just felt like typing something because i have nothing else better to do. i'll try to condense into some nutshells as much as i can. i took a power nap during the day, and i woke up around 1:30AM and being awake and bored, i came to found this site...
i had everything i could ask for especially in my high school years, i lost my virginity at 14 (DEEPLY regretted now) to a girl i knew for a while and loved to death, whom i thought of even spending my future with (now completely cut off, we're done for good), made a lot of friends in football, baseball, dances, and such, and life was all so polished and shiny.
of course, i did some stupid things where i indulged myself in alcohol and sex, as i was slowly floating away from meaningful relationships. i got disqualified into my university because of one class i messed up in, so i ended up at a community college, then transferred to a university as of now.
i did clean up a bit in during college, and i had a girlfriend who was two years younger, but when she graduated high school, she went to a university across half the country, and we decided after a while that we should stay friends. after that, i fell back into my puddle of alcohol and countless nights of empty feeling sex, and it felt horrible for some reason. despite the amount of friends, it feels lonesome.
i have a feeling where i think it really wouldn't matter if something happened to me and i died, since i'm such a miniscule portion of the world. it doesn't make sense to me. i'm spoiled rotten with a future career set for me, and should have absolutely NO reason to complain or even think about what's wrong. it's really weird. after hanging out with friends, my sister, or even playing with my dogs, i would just sit alone and feel a bit... lonely and empty.
i had everything i could ask for especially in my high school years, i lost my virginity at 14 (DEEPLY regretted now) to a girl i knew for a while and loved to death, whom i thought of even spending my future with (now completely cut off, we're done for good), made a lot of friends in football, baseball, dances, and such, and life was all so polished and shiny.
of course, i did some stupid things where i indulged myself in alcohol and sex, as i was slowly floating away from meaningful relationships. i got disqualified into my university because of one class i messed up in, so i ended up at a community college, then transferred to a university as of now.
i did clean up a bit in during college, and i had a girlfriend who was two years younger, but when she graduated high school, she went to a university across half the country, and we decided after a while that we should stay friends. after that, i fell back into my puddle of alcohol and countless nights of empty feeling sex, and it felt horrible for some reason. despite the amount of friends, it feels lonesome.
i have a feeling where i think it really wouldn't matter if something happened to me and i died, since i'm such a miniscule portion of the world. it doesn't make sense to me. i'm spoiled rotten with a future career set for me, and should have absolutely NO reason to complain or even think about what's wrong. it's really weird. after hanging out with friends, my sister, or even playing with my dogs, i would just sit alone and feel a bit... lonely and empty.
