I dont understand ...

[Marik_757]

I'm not black ... I'm a pacific islander... And I dont agree with the method of being a ********* to get a girl... To be honest I grew up avoiding people which had a huge impact on me gaining dating experience. I'm always in a defensive mode cause of trust issues... Which leaves me to approach people in a cautious way as starting out as friends. Doesnt feel right for me to jump right in...

And no Im not balding ... I just keep my hair low like that.

 

[Mary Mary]

I'm not black ... I'm a pacific islander... And I dont agree with the method of being a ********* to get a girl... To be honest I grew up avoiding people which had a huge impact on me gaining dating experience. I'm always in a defensive mode cause of trust issues... Which leaves me to approach people in a cautious way as starting out as friends. Doesnt feel right for me to jump right in...

And no Im not balding ... I just keep my hair low like that.

Then be prepared to always be friends.

Read this article:

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=5197531&page=1

The good news is you don't have to be a ****** bag to attract women. There are lots of behaviors that ****** bags do that aren't unethical. Is it really wrong to act more confident? What makes them unethical is how they use their power, which is to use women for sex. You're not going to do that. You just want to date normally.

---

One more thing. You don't have to jump right in, but you just have to avoid her tagging you as a friend. You can do that by lightly flirting with her. As a man, that may seem kind of wrong, but to women, it's not a problem. You won't be leading them on or anything.

 

[BUOY]

Waiting for someone to come around usually cost time. I say, make yourself unavailable at times. It will give opportunity for the individual to evaluate your place in their life. When you are present be completely present. (similar to EV's Scrubs' clips on pg 1)
The person you want may not want you until you have set different priorities. Yea, it's usually late.

Good luck navigating anyway.

You know the game JJam. Cool scenario. I'm waiting to get out of this pipe.

That cloud will descend to his level and prevent him from falling freely into the pit. Then it will carry him beyond that relationship mark and into the sky, where a different kind of happiness can be enjoyed temporarily. At the end of that ride in the clouds, he will be sent back down. Unfortunately, he'll land in a green pipe with no option to backtrack to the cliff where the relationship exists. When he exits the green pipe, he will be in a new world called A Lonely Life.

 

[ThatOneDude]

Don't mean to jack the topic, but it really does seem like you have to be a ********* to get a girl to like you. And why the fresia does it seem like if you make any attempt to actually get to know someone before wanting to go out with them instead of being an ******* and leading with your johnson they want to be "just friends"? that is why I pretty much give up on the honeysuckle.

 

[Mary Mary]

Don't mean to jack the topic, but it really does seem like you have to be a ********* to get a girl to like you. And why the fresia does it seem like if you make any attempt to actually get to know someone before wanting to go out with them instead of being an ******* and leading with your johnson they want to be "just friends"? that is why I pretty much give up on the honeysuckle.

Actually, you don't have to be a ****** bag.

Simple truth is, not all ****** bags get women. There are many jerks that women wouldn't touch with a 10-foot pole. There are nice men who are good at getting women, but they don't use them. So, these guys only date one women one at a time, so you aren't able to see how good they are with women because they don't go through them so quickly.

Another part of the problem, for some odd reason, as indicated in the article cited above, is that women can tell you what they want in a relationship, but they can't really seem to tell you what they find sexually attractive. So, many nice guys never get cued in on the secret.

Finally, like the guy in the one article above, ****** bags tend to have or appear to have the characteristics that women are attracted to.

Their narcissism and arrogance can be mistaken for confidence. They tend to be vain, so they take better care of their looks. They're materialistic and ambitious, so they strive for better jobs and social status. Their emotional distance can get mistaken for emotional strength. They like sex, and women like sexual men. Finally, many men who sleep with a lot of women rely on deception.

Being a jerk can attract women, but emotionally healthy women won't stick around; and the ones who do either are crazy enough to make your life miserable or are so emotionally unhealthy that they can't make good partners.

 

[ThatOneDude]

So how does that help me?

 

[Mary Mary]

So how does that help me?

Learn to act confident, get into shape, get the best job that you can, make a woman aware that you like sex, and dress better.

 

[Nina]

I have male "friendships" that far outlasted my marriage. So I feel very strongly about the value of a good friend. They're PRICELESS... It's true, I would never want to lose those relationships, as they are, by complicating them with all the twists and turns that romantic relationships take. I think the permanent "friend-zone" can be avoided by telling the person, early on, that you "like" them and would like to go for coffee and get to know each other better. That way you aren't coming on too strong but you aren't limiting yourself to the "friend-zone" either. No wacky games or pretenses is the way to go. Games are fine for the ones who play them but for the deeper folks, a nice light-hearted, open and HONEST approach works well.

 

[SophiaGrace]

What makes them unethical is how they use their power, which is to use women for sex. normally.

I agree. Though I am kind of intimidated by people with good confidence because I wonder how far their confidence goes. Does it go into narccism where my wants and needs will be ignored? That's something I ask myself when I come across a guy that's too cocky.

Also, how will a very confident person treat a person that doesnt have much confidence? That's another thing I wonder when I come across a confident person.

 

[Mr. Sir]

So how does that help me?

Learn to act confident, get into shape, get the best job that you can, make a woman aware that you like sex, and dress better.

What Mary said. Accept the uncomfortable truths.

 

[brickinthewall]

I'm not sure if it's just me but most posts in this thread seem to be implying that all women respond to the same kind of behaviour? I mean this can't be true , and if it is I will be very disappointed .

 

[Mr. Sir]

I'm not sure if it's just me but most posts in this thread seem to be implying that all women respond to the same kind of behaviour? I mean this can't be true , and if it is I will be very disappointed .

It's called a mating call man, and it's been going on in the animal kingdom for millions of years.

Darwin wrote about survival of the fittest. Those with unfit genes do not reproduce. If you are a male virgin over age 21, and you've made it to this board, then you are at high risk to be breeded out.

Luckily, unlike antelope and chimpanzees, you have a highly functioning brain, and can use logic and not just instinct. You don't HAVE to be the antelope who can't run fast enough to not get eaten by the cheetah, or the chimp who can't reach the next branch he's swinging to high in the forest canopy.

There are four things that you need to for social success. Money, muscle, social capital, and good looks. You can get them.

 

[Nina]

Brick...
Most folks respond to kindness and honesty. Most "game players" overlook it in favor of getting what they want out of another person. I've seen as many women take men down the old heart ache path as I've seen men do to the women. On both sides of the gate, you have good folks with equally good hearts and intentions and the same is true that on both sides, there are utter ****** bags. The best bet is to look for someone who reflects your own values and if it doesn't work out try to remember that that ONE person, does not speak or act as a representative for all others of the same sex...We're all different, with very diverse wants and needs...

 

[brickinthewall]

No offense socrates , but I prefer Nina's answer lol. Although I believe there is a lot of truth in yours too.

 

[Nina]

Brick--
socrates has some valid points, sure folks with good looks, success and finance have a broader playing field but what he seems to overlook is that the vast majority of folks fall in between fabulous and fractured. That alone is a huge number of people. Also, not everyone is looking for a high end exec or a famous supermodel. It's okay to be average. There are tons of "average" folks out there who have happy lives and partners. It's always a good idea to try and stay fit and employed, but a person can fall far short of what socrates states and still find what they want in life. Leaning to smile and communicate well are far more important to socialization than a lot of what he titles as, "all you need"

You can be very rich and beautiful with social position and someone equally rich and good looking can dump your ass faster than a NY minute.
Learning to sort out the shallow and superficial folks, along with the unstable is valuable and then learning to relate well to those left will earn you a good relationship wayyy ahead of a new outfit and line of bullshit. Stay real and move real...

I always think he's a company rep for a line of protein supplements... or a new clothes line...

 

[SofiasMami]

Hi brick,
Looks like there are two parallel conversations going on here.
If you're just looking to bone some chick, then socrates's tactics might work. But if you're looking for a quality relationship with a woman that is more likely to last more than a few days, I say go with Nina's advice. What a dull world it would be if we all acted and reacted the same. If you think you know in advance what a woman will respond to and how she will respond, you haven't met enough women.

Teresa

 

[Nina]

Hi brick,
Looks like there are two parallel conversations going on here.
If you're just looking to bone some chick, then socrates's tactics might work. But if you're looking for a quality relationship with a woman that is more likely to last more than a few days, I say go with Nina's advice. What a dull world it would be if we all acted and reacted the same. If you think you know in advance what a woman will respond to and how she will respond, you haven't met enough women.

Teresa

Yup... I loved this post, you just nailed it right down...PRICELESS...

 

[Mr. Sir]

No offense socrates , but I prefer Nina's answer lol. Although I believe there is a lot of truth in yours too.

We ALLLLLLLL prefer Nina's answer!!!!

Dude, way back in the day, I wanted my sweet, adorable, giggling conservative Catholic bride who I was going to wait til marriage for. Hell I STILL wish that could be my reality.

Then I realized...

... in every social group, all the women are being dated and dumped by two central guys, usually thugs, pretty-boys, or gym fiends, and every woman in the social group is madly in love with one of the two alphas.

... even abstinent Catholic girls are ALL taken by cadets, pretty boys, or bad dudes who know how to suck up to parents and lead a phony life, and that all the beta Catholic guys are left behind, as perfect prey for the priests to recruit them and put their celibacy to good use.

... even pretty Muslim girls who wear HEADSCARVES are all engaged to Muslim bodybuilders, Muslim male models, or wealthy older Muslim businessmen by time they are 23.

I'm not trying to insult women by saying this. This is just how the dating game works. Pretty women have every dude in the world basically hitting on her all day. Of course she's gonna have a ton of power, and will only select the best of the best. I don't blame them either.

I want every dude on this website who suffers from loneliness and sexual frustration to be cured. But it's just going to happen by looking for these needles in the haystack. Sure there are women out there who fit the description that Nina and others talk about, but what makes YOU think you're so special that one of these rare women is just going to come along and accept you and your flaws. It just ISN'T practical.

You are gambling with your genes and their ability to be passed on. This is not a laughing matter. You cannot wait around for something to happen. You need to play EVERY good card you are dealt, or else you will lose the game.

 

[ThatOneDude]

dude.....do you actually listen to half the honeysuckle you say?

 

[brickinthewall]

Socrates you do indeed put up some very valid points and I do see where you are going at. However I think that the solutions you give are just solutions for those who will settle with anything (don't mean to be rude or disrespectful sorry).By anything I mean being satisfied with someone you don't love or care for but just for the sake of being in a relationship.

I do agree that we should all do our best to try and remove our flaws as much as possible but if someone truly cares for you I honestly hope that person will look past your flaws.

Also don't get me wrong , while I am not officially looking for a relationship I am doing my best to ...be a better me?. I work out on a daily basis and am studying to have a decent career.All these considered though , I would still go with Nina and Sofiasmami's answers. I won't give my hopes up on this world yet , and I hope you don't either.