innerfyre
Well-known member
Hi all,
I wasnt too sure where to post this, but this is what has brought me to the boards and figured this was a fine place to post it.
So I have gone through life with very little friends, all through K to 12 I had only a friend here and there, and usually eventually realised that I didnt like them and/or lost contact with them. I have always been insecure and have always been extremely self concious. Every day all hours of the day I am thinking of what other people might be thinking of me.
I am now 19, in college and yes I do have room mates around me, but I feel like they are again empty relationships, I feel like I cant make connections with anyone, whether they be male or female. I dont know any other way to explain it, I mean sometimes I have no issues with interacting with people...but I just feel like its so pointless with interaction with people because I always see these interactions as meaningless and "empty".
I also feel so awkward in close situations, anytime someone makes a gesture by touching me I feel like its not right, it feels foreign and it scares the living hell out of me and I feel like this has prevented me from developing close relationships and have never been able to find a sense of security with people, I always feel on edge. In many social situations I have a hard time finding my
Yet here is the odd thing, I crave human interaction all the time, I cant say that I am the most "socially fluent" person in the world but I cant help but think "I love interacting with people" yet at the same time, I just feel so lonely and empty.
Dont know what else to say.
I wasnt too sure where to post this, but this is what has brought me to the boards and figured this was a fine place to post it.
So I have gone through life with very little friends, all through K to 12 I had only a friend here and there, and usually eventually realised that I didnt like them and/or lost contact with them. I have always been insecure and have always been extremely self concious. Every day all hours of the day I am thinking of what other people might be thinking of me.
I am now 19, in college and yes I do have room mates around me, but I feel like they are again empty relationships, I feel like I cant make connections with anyone, whether they be male or female. I dont know any other way to explain it, I mean sometimes I have no issues with interacting with people...but I just feel like its so pointless with interaction with people because I always see these interactions as meaningless and "empty".
I also feel so awkward in close situations, anytime someone makes a gesture by touching me I feel like its not right, it feels foreign and it scares the living hell out of me and I feel like this has prevented me from developing close relationships and have never been able to find a sense of security with people, I always feel on edge. In many social situations I have a hard time finding my
Yet here is the odd thing, I crave human interaction all the time, I cant say that I am the most "socially fluent" person in the world but I cant help but think "I love interacting with people" yet at the same time, I just feel so lonely and empty.
Dont know what else to say.