I feel like I was never young.

[cicerolion]

In my early teenage years, I had to have several invasive surgeries related to a genetic condition. I'm better off than a lot of people. I'm not paralyzed or deformed at all, but my health has taken a great toll on me. I'm 20 now, and I am physically challenged in certain ways. My bad back, knees, and arrhythmic heart exclude me from a lot of activities and limit my energy. To add to that, this has all taken a toll on my appearance. Because of my back and knees, I walk and move in a way that people find strange. I also have a large scar jutting up from my chest (it shows through most shirts). I'm a young guy in college, but I feel like an old man. Because of this, people treat me like there is something wrong with me mentally, even though there clearly isn't if you talk to me for second. I've been a nerd and a weirdo my whole life, so I'm not really complaining that I'm not popular. However, what I am getting from people now is different. I feel like I'm being excluded from most of what it means to be young, and my condition is not going to get any better over time.

 

[Dissident]

I wish I had some advice for you but I can't imagine what you're going through. The 20-something crowd can be just as petty and unforgiving as they were in high school, especially if they jumped straight from high school into college for the typical "college experience." But even in a crowd of D-bags there are bound to be some worthwhile people to hang out with.

 

[cicerolion]

I wish I had some advice for you but I can't imagine what you're going through. The 20-something crowd can be just as petty and unforgiving as they were in high school, especially if they jumped straight from high school into college for the typical "college experience." But even in a crowd of D-bags there are bound to be some worthwhile people to hang out with.

My experience these last two years has been that the people who aren't just going through the motions of their college fantasy are too socially defensive to approach. They are socially obscure too, but don't see me as one of them.Even though I used to be the alpha of my old group of friends, they have all gravitated away from me. They think that I'm deadweight in a social sense (basically that they won't get girls if someone like me is around). At this point, I really feel like I am completely marginalized as a person.

 

[perfanoff]

I'm sorry you've been dealt a bad hand of cards, and there's no use skulking about it. Settle with that you will never know "the college experience".

Probably the best way to get ahead is to know how to forfeit. Talking about cards, ever played poker? The most important thing that makes a good poker player is simply the ability to forfeit a hand so he can fight for another. So identify your goals, know your abilities and limitations, and choose your wishes carefully.

 

[cicerolion]

I'm sorry you've been dealt a bad hand of cards, and there's no use skulking about it. Settle with that you will never know "the college experience".

Probably the best way to get ahead is to know how to forfeit. Talking about cards, ever played poker? The most important thing that makes a good poker player is simply the ability to forfeit a hand so he can fight for another. So identify your goals, know your abilities and limitations, and choose your wishes carefully.

I'm not holding on to a delusion of the college experience. My point is that because the people I'm surrounded by are, they try their best to avoid me, as I don't fit into that picture. When I say I'm missing youth, I don't mean keggers and one night stands. I mean that I feel that I have been completely alienated from my generation because I'm dealing with issues that they will not know until their 40's. I never had an idea that I was going to have some great big party at this age, and I never really wanted to. However, getting a chance to experience certain parts of what it means to be a social animal: friendship, competition, sexuality, is not something that I care to forfeit.

 

[WL7.3]

Are you the only person at your college with physical limitations?

 

[LoneKiller]

Create your own youth. Play video games, stay up all night, download porn, drink Kool-Aid, watch cartoons, play pranks on others, sneak into movie theatres, drink a ton of Red Bull. Instead of going out clubbing with others, buy yourself a pint of gin, stick in a little Garth Brooks, sit in your favorite chair and party it up! Anything that makes you happy.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I don't know what to say.

I suffered from minor health problems as a teenager, but nothing like that. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that, I can't imagine what it was like.