I find this Lady totally rude in one of the support groups

[Bluerose]

Wait so what did I say that was bullshit or makes me ignore you?

It's not you, it's the other party..

 

[wolfshadow]

Bluerose dont you think that by being bitter you are effectively shutting out any chance of actually connecting with people in support groups?

Nothing personal against the author of the post above, but why do people always say things like that? Life works for some and kicks others squarely in the teeth, bitterness in the event is often all that is left.
Happiness can be snatched away in one fell swoop but anger remains a companion for as long as you need it to be. Neither state guarantees that you'll 'connect' with anyone and the only reason why people encourage positive thinking is that it give them one less problem to deal with and it's certainly not for the benefit of ones spiritual welfare.
The reason that support groups, therapy and psycologists etc were devised was to prevent people with characteristics that society finds inconveinient, from working against it's ideals. You get treated to become a productive citizen and that is all.

 

[Bluerose]

Bluerose dont you think that by being bitter you are effectively shutting out any chance of actually connecting with people in support groups?

Nothing personal against the author of the post above, but why do people always say things like that? Life works for some and kicks others squarely in the teeth, bitterness in the event is often all that is left.
Happiness can be snatched away in one fell swoop but anger remains a companion for as long as you need it to be. Neither state guarantees that you'll 'connect' with anyone and the only reason why people encourage positive thinking is that it give them one less problem to deal with and it's certainly not for the benefit of ones spiritual welfare.
The reason that support groups, therapy and psycologists etc were devised was to prevent people with characteristics that society finds inconveinient, from working against it's ideals. You get treated to become a productive citizen and that is all.

People who respond my post with those type of comments don't really understand what I've been through in life b/c they haven't experienced it. They don't know what it's like to be so mistreated that makes you a bitter person as a result.. They make things worse by making judgements, example people like Lomesome crow, the last 2 comments that member posted was hitting below the belt.. It's like adding some salt to a large wound.. Saying things like "your driving people away with your bitter attitude" is not supportive.. Sometimes people say really bad things to others that pushes them so far they become dangerous.. I come to forums with comforting support NOT cruel judgements & critisisms..

 

[wolfshadow]

To the OP, you have the distinct misfortune of catching me at my very nadir.
My last post wasn't a reflection on you, it was a response to the remark that I quoted, merely highlighting that I think that people have the right to feel aggrieved when life isn't going according to their design. I don't know whether you personally are bitter or otherwise and it's not my place to speculate either way.

The fact is that when you post into a place that attracts such a diverse usebase you are bound to be confronted by opinions from people who can't put themselves in your shoes. You're not the only one either, I feel like putting a gun to my head everytime I read feedback from people who are suffering from student anxt or domestic boredom.

The irony is that you were so short with the first drift of members who chose to respond to your initial post (excluding myself - I put my hand up and admit that I misunderstood where you were coming from) that you probably deterred the people most likely to give you sensible advice.

Anyway, for all that, I genuinely wish you good luck.

 

[Naleena]

People who respond my post with those type of comments don't really understand what I've been through in life b/c they haven't experienced it. They don't know what it's like to be so mistreated that makes you a bitter person as a result.. They make things worse by making judgements, example people like Lomesome crow, the last 2 comments that member posted was hitting below the belt.. It's like adding some salt to a large wound.. Saying things like "your driving people away with your bitter attitude" is not supportive.. Sometimes people say really bad things to others that pushes them so far they become dangerous.. I come to forums with comforting support NOT cruel judgements & critisisms..[/FONT][/COLOR]

Blue Rose,
They were trying to help you with the information they had. The comment that "They don't know what it's like to be so mistreated that makes you a bitter person as a result.." is no less than what you accuse them of doing....making a judgement. Just because a person has been mistreated doesn't mean they will choose to be a bitter person like yourself. You do not have the corner market on pain. You have been hurt in your life but, who hasn't? I have read your past posts and this seems to be a pattern with you to throw other people's advice back in their face like it is meaningless and worthless and then you wonder why no one "supports" you. That behavior is not serving you. You need to own your own problems and stop blaming others for your attitude. You are not a victim and you do have a choice. While you can't control your life, you must participate in it. There comes a time in our lives that we must grow up and be adults. To use our past hurts as an excuse to be cruel and rude is unacceptable. While this may not be under your definitions of "supportive," it is an honest observation.

 

[luciddisconnect]

About the original post, I can see why Bluerose interpreted the woman asking for the other's number in the midst of a meeting as being rude. Partly, I think it depends on how formal the meetings were and if this interruption broke the flow of the whole meeting. If everyone else was in the position of feeling excluded, then yeah, it was a little rude. This was therapy for depression, after all, and a little sensitivity towards the feelings of others wouldn't have hurt. She could have waited for the end of the meeting. - But then maybe she was a little desperate herself.

[/quote]People who respond my post with those type of comments don't really understand what I've been through in life b/c they haven't experienced it. They don't know what it's like to be so mistreated that makes you a bitter person as a result.. They make things worse by making judgements, example people like Lomesome crow, the last 2 comments that member posted was hitting below the belt.. It's like adding some salt to a large wound.. Saying things like "your driving people away with your bitter attitude" is not supportive.. Sometimes people say really bad things to others that pushes them so far they become dangerous.. I come to forums with comforting support NOT cruel judgements & critisisms..
[/quote]

I think that anyone that feels bitter has a right to their bitterness. It's not a character flaw. It's not a virtue. It's what happens when you're let down over and over again.

Sometimes I blame the structure of this society. Sometimes I blame the cruelty and close-mindedness of individuals. Sometimes I blame myself. The hardest choice is to simply blame no-one.

I can either take my bitterness and languish in it; languish in my self pity and feel like I've been robbed of so many vital experiences that other people have found in life without trying. Or I can turn it into action; instead of turning all that vibrating nervous energy against myself I can turn it into something productive. Bitterness isn't the most positive motivating force, but it works.

I think that it's good advice to avoid turning one's bitterness towards the wrong person in the wrong moment.

- I've read some of Lonesome Crow's other posts. I think he knows what it's like to be mistreated, in many ways far more so than I do. He may well be relating your situation a little too much to his own. I didn't get the impression that you were in A/A.

***************************************

You know. . . I'm tired of people thinking they're the ones with the exclusive right to cast judgement.

Because I've never had to struggle to pay the rent. Because I've never gone through chemotherapy or suffered from alcoholism. Because I'm not part of the self righteous body-politic. Because I've never had an abortion or a gambling addiction. Because I'm still young. Because my family is still alive. Because I didn't have the drive to achieve what they've achieved. Because I haven't suffered like they've suffered.

So what? Is this life a ******* competition to see who has the most street cred? I'm tired of playing that game with people.

 

[Unacceptance]

Wait so what did I say that was bullshit or makes me ignore you?

It's not you, it's the other party..

Frankly, I ignore Crow too. It's pretty easy to see why.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Wait so what did I say that was bullshit or makes me ignore you?

It's not you, it's the other party..

Frankly, I ignore Crow too. It's pretty easy to see why.

Franky I'm not a dope head like Unacc either. Seeing is beliving

 

[Minus]

Okay Unacceptance and Lonesome Crow, you both got your shots in at each other for this thread. Lets consider this thread covered and drop it there.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I've sat in many 12 step meetings and cried my heart out.
I'm a guy and I don't cry especailly in front of people...but I could not longer run away from my pains.
Everything stopped working...(drugs, alcohol, sex, shoping, work, money) to take away my pains.
I no longer have to hide my feelings of hurt, shame or guilt.
I no longer have to supress my feelings so that I don't feel depressed all the time.
The 12 steps was designed so that I don't have to carry all that pain inside of me anymore.

No, i was never accepted with open arms by everyone in those meetings.
But there were those that cared enough to reach out to me and try to help me.
Yes, i rejected a lot of people that reached out to me. I did'nt know who to trust nor belived.
I wanted to do it my way just like any new person that walks into those rooms.
I kept going back...I kept going back becuase there were those that walked in my shoes
and understood me exactly. They cried the same tears I cry.
The abused, the abandentment the chaos, the insanity and the madness of it all.
Those poeple stood by my side as i kicked, fight and scream through it all as I learn how to let go
of my pains becuase it fucken hurts.

Sometimes I cant do that in a meetings. That's why i get phone number from people.
A support group gose beyound the meeting rooms. Because sometimes i need to talk
to someone at 2 AM.

 

[Bluerose]

*EDITED FOR CONTENT*

 

[EveWasFramed]

EDITED FOR CONTENT

You WILL have basic respect for the other forum members, or I will not only randomly edit your threads/posts when appropriate, but I will also close or delete them as necessary. And since you disabled your PM's, you leave me no choice but to leave this message in your thread.

 

[Bluerose]

EDITED FOR CONTENT

You WILL have basic respect for the other forum members, or I will not only randomly edit your threads/posts when appropriate, but I will also close or delete them as necessary. And since you disabled your PM's, you leave me no choice but to leave this message in your thread.

WHATEVER!

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I've go to differnt 12 step support gorups AA, NA, Alan-on, ACOA.
There's other support groups such as SMART..but that's not free...

The bottom line is...if you want to get well, you'll find a way to get well.
In other words...I attend those **** meetings half of the time which i don't want to go
People call me on my honeysuckle all that time.
I have no excuses...People love me that much otherwise they wouldn't say anything to me.
Just like a close friend of mine on this site will tell me things i don't want to hear...She loves me that much.

Pain dosn't discriminate and everyone of us on this site can testify to that.

I Keep going back to those meetings becuase I'm not cured of LIfe's challenges.
Just like i keep coming here...becuase i still want to get WELL.
Evidently i don't get alone with everyone on here either....But i learned that through my support groups

There were so much I had to learn in recovery and I still don't have all the answers.
That's to said that I don't have a lot of answers already.

I was also taught about LIVE and LET LIVE in support groups.
I was also taught about LOVE, PATEINCE and TOLERANCE in support groups.
Evident we didn't hold hands and sang cumbaya all the time in meetings either.

 

[Naleena]

RFLMAO!! Hows the finger Blue Rose? Thanks for sending it to me with that scathing rude comment that I won't share on the board. While you can dish out your "stick it up your ass" all you people who don't say what I want to hear, you can't even take a kindly suggestion such as...I know someone who might make a good friend (from a poster who you jumped all over in your earlier posts) to people suggesting you ask for a phone number. You are obviously looking for someone to kiss your ass and tell you that you are right. And god forbid they say the wrong thing! You sister, are an abuser and you use your past as an excuse to be..can I say it? No, I can't but it has 5 letters so let your imagination take over. WHich obviously it has since you think yourself above everyone else. You look for sympathy and you can't even show it. "Whaaaaaaa..someone said I was pathetic!" Yeah? Well what they hell have you said to people on this board? But YOUR different. Right? You can mistreat people cause someone hurt you and you think you are ENTITLED to be a hateful, bitter,person . For god sake...a post about a woman who wanted a phone number. On a scale from 1-10 I'd say that may have been a 0.5 on the rude scale. But you have made it into something horrid! Even went as far as to give someone a dirty look for it! Jesus Christ and the latter day saints! What business is it of yours if someone asked for a phone number? You would think from you JUDGEMENMENTAL (yeah you do it too but, I'm sure you can't admit that, much less see it) hateful post that she had commited some crime. You think you can talk anyway you want to people and then you act like a victim? Can't see how you are mistreating people on this board? Thats right, they DESERVE it according to your warped thinking. And you call me pathetic? RFLMAO!!! You are what some would lable a drama queen...I think of you more as a drama hoe because you lack the grace and good manners of a lady and apparently your not happy unless you are gettin' some (drama) You need to lay off the people on this board who haven't done anything to you. BTW, have a nice day








.

 

[Bluerose]

RFLMAO!! Hows the finger Blue Rose? Thanks for sending it to me with that scathing rude comment that I won't share on the board. While you can dish out your "stick it up your ass" all you people who don't say what I want to hear, you can't even take a kindly suggestion such as...I know someone who might make a good friend (from a poster who you jumped all over in your earlier posts) to people suggesting you ask for a phone number. You are obviously looking for someone to kiss your ass and tell you that you are right. And god forbid they say the wrong thing! You sister, are an abuser and you use your past as an excuse to be..can I say it? No, I can't but it has 5 letters so let your imagination take over. WHich obviously it has since you think yourself above everyone else. You look for sympathy and you can't even show it. "Whaaaaaaa..someone said I was pathetic!" Yeah? Well what they hell have you said to people on this board? But YOUR different. Right? You can mistreat people cause someone hurt you and you think you are ENTITLED to be a hateful, bitter,person . For god sake...a post about a woman who wanted a phone number. On a scale from 1-10 I'd say that may have been a 0.5 on the rude scale. But you have made it into something horrid! Even went as far as to give someone a dirty look for it! Jesus Christ and the latter day saints! What business is it of yours if someone asked for a phone number? You would think from you JUDGEMENMENTAL (yeah you do it too but, I'm sure you can't admit that, much less see it) hateful post that she had commited some crime. You think you can talk anyway you want to people and then you act like a victim? Can't see how you are mistreating people on this board? Thats right, they DESERVE it according to your warped thinking. And you call me pathetic? RFLMAO!!! You are what some would lable a drama queen...I think of you more as a drama hoe because you lack the grace and good manners of a lady and apparently your not happy unless you are gettin' some (drama) You need to lay off the people on this board who haven't done anything to you. BTW, have a nice day








.

 

[TheLonelySkeptic]

RFLMAO!! Hows the finger Blue Rose? Thanks for sending it to me with that scathing rude comment that I won't share on the board. While you can dish out your "stick it up your ass" all you people who don't say what I want to hear, you can't even take a kindly suggestion such as...I know someone who might make a good friend (from a poster who you jumped all over in your earlier posts) to people suggesting you ask for a phone number. You are obviously looking for someone to kiss your ass and tell you that you are right. And god forbid they say the wrong thing! You sister, are an abuser and you use your past as an excuse to be..can I say it? No, I can't but it has 5 letters so let your imagination take over. WHich obviously it has since you think yourself above everyone else. You look for sympathy and you can't even show it. "Whaaaaaaa..someone said I was pathetic!" Yeah? Well what they hell have you said to people on this board? But YOUR different. Right? You can mistreat people cause someone hurt you and you think you are ENTITLED to be a hateful, bitter,person . For god sake...a post about a woman who wanted a phone number. On a scale from 1-10 I'd say that may have been a 0.5 on the rude scale. But you have made it into something horrid! Even went as far as to give someone a dirty look for it! Jesus Christ and the latter day saints! What business is it of yours if someone asked for a phone number? You would think from you JUDGEMENMENTAL (yeah you do it too but, I'm sure you can't admit that, much less see it) hateful post that she had commited some crime. You think you can talk anyway you want to people and then you act like a victim? Can't see how you are mistreating people on this board? Thats right, they DESERVE it according to your warped thinking. And you call me pathetic? RFLMAO!!! You are what some would lable a drama queen...I think of you more as a drama hoe because you lack the grace and good manners of a lady and apparently your not happy unless you are gettin' some (drama) You need to lay off the people on this board who haven't done anything to you. BTW, have a nice day








.

Why are the cute ones always so dense?

And Naleena, five letters? I'm sure we could do better with four!

To the mods: Please don't ban her. I haven't had my fun yet. :3

 

[TheLonelySkeptic]

Bluerose dont you think that by being bitter you are effectively shutting out any chance of actually connecting with people in support groups?

Nothing personal against the author of the post above, but why do people always say things like that? Life works for some and kicks others squarely in the teeth, bitterness in the event is often all that is left.
Happiness can be snatched away in one fell swoop but anger remains a companion for as long as you need it to be. Neither state guarantees that you'll 'connect' with anyone and the only reason why people encourage positive thinking is that it give them one less problem to deal with and it's certainly not for the benefit of ones spiritual welfare.
The reason that support groups, therapy and psycologists etc were devised was to prevent people with characteristics that society finds inconveinient, from working against it's ideals. You get treated to become a productive citizen and that is all.

People who respond my post with those type of comments don't really understand what I've been through in life b/c they haven't experienced it. They don't know what it's like to be so mistreated that makes you a bitter person as a result.. They make things worse by making judgements, example people like Lomesome crow, the last 2 comments that member posted was hitting below the belt.. It's like adding some salt to a large wound.. Saying things like "your driving people away with your bitter attitude" is not supportive.. Sometimes people say really bad things to others that pushes them so far they become dangerous.. I come to forums with comforting support NOT cruel judgements & critisisms..

Seriously? Are you seriously saying what I think you're saying?

Listen, princess, I don't get along with Lonesome Crow. In fact, for various reasons I more often than not can't stand him. But from what I do know of him I'd wager that man has been through more pain and tribulation than anyone else here on this board, let alone your petty, self-obsessed ass. What's more -- as anyone who's known me for five minutes can attest -- five out of six of my exes cheated on me, in one form or another, and yet I still cling to a faint but ever-present hope that that one girl's out there. fresia yes, I'm bitter -- and my trust issues are not merely waning, they're non-existent! So don't assume that you're some special ******* case that everyone should take immediate pity on. I'm not offended by your presumptuous assertion that your life has seen more heartache than mine or that of anyone else on this board; I'm merely annoyed. It's glitter-speckled drama whores like you who make me gag at the state of our world. For fresia's sake, get a clue.

P.S. I wrote "petty," not "pretty." If you read the latter, congratulations, you're a narcissist.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Bluerose dont you think that by being bitter you are effectively shutting out any chance of actually connecting with people in support groups?

Nothing personal against the author of the post above, but why do people always say things like that? Life works for some and kicks others squarely in the teeth, bitterness in the event is often all that is left.
Happiness can be snatched away in one fell swoop but anger remains a companion for as long as you need it to be. Neither state guarantees that you'll 'connect' with anyone and the only reason why people encourage positive thinking is that it give them one less problem to deal with and it's certainly not for the benefit of ones spiritual welfare.
The reason that support groups, therapy and psycologists etc were devised was to prevent people with characteristics that society finds inconveinient, from working against it's ideals. You get treated to become a productive citizen and that is all.

People who respond my post with those type of comments don't really understand what I've been through in life b/c they haven't experienced it. They don't know what it's like to be so mistreated that makes you a bitter person as a result.. They make things worse by making judgements, example people like Lomesome crow, the last 2 comments that member posted was hitting below the belt.. It's like adding some salt to a large wound.. Saying things like "your driving people away with your bitter attitude" is not supportive.. Sometimes people say really bad things to others that pushes them so far they become dangerous.. I come to forums with comforting support NOT cruel judgements & critisisms..

Seriously? Are you seriously saying what I think you're saying?

Listen, princess, I don't get along with Lonesome Crow. In fact, for various reasons I more often than not can't stand him. But from what I do know of him I'd wager that man has been through more pain and tribulation than anyone else here on this board, let alone your petty, self-obsessed ass. What's more -- as anyone who's known me for five minutes can attest -- five out of six of my exes cheated on me, in one form or another, and yet I still cling to a faint but ever-present hope that that one girl's out there. fresia yes, I'm bitter -- and my trust issues are not merely waning, they're non-existent! So don't assume that you're some special ******* case that everyone should take immediate pity on. I'm not offended by your presumptuous assertion that your life has seen more heartache than mine or that of anyone else on this board; I'm merely annoyed. It's glitter-speckled drama whores like you who make me gag at the state of our world. For fresia's sake, get a clue.

P.S. I wrote "petty," not "pretty." If you read the latter, congratulations, you're a narcissist.

er...lol, I believe she's like 42, dear.

 

[TheLonelySkeptic]

Bluerose dont you think that by being bitter you are effectively shutting out any chance of actually connecting with people in support groups?

Nothing personal against the author of the post above, but why do people always say things like that? Life works for some and kicks others squarely in the teeth, bitterness in the event is often all that is left.
Happiness can be snatched away in one fell swoop but anger remains a companion for as long as you need it to be. Neither state guarantees that you'll 'connect' with anyone and the only reason why people encourage positive thinking is that it give them one less problem to deal with and it's certainly not for the benefit of ones spiritual welfare.
The reason that support groups, therapy and psycologists etc were devised was to prevent people with characteristics that society finds inconveinient, from working against it's ideals. You get treated to become a productive citizen and that is all.

People who respond my post with those type of comments don't really understand what I've been through in life b/c they haven't experienced it. They don't know what it's like to be so mistreated that makes you a bitter person as a result.. They make things worse by making judgements, example people like Lomesome crow, the last 2 comments that member posted was hitting below the belt.. It's like adding some salt to a large wound.. Saying things like "your driving people away with your bitter attitude" is not supportive.. Sometimes people say really bad things to others that pushes them so far they become dangerous.. I come to forums with comforting support NOT cruel judgements & critisisms..

Seriously? Are you seriously saying what I think you're saying?

Listen, princess, I don't get along with Lonesome Crow. In fact, for various reasons I more often than not can't stand him. But from what I do know of him I'd wager that man has been through more pain and tribulation than anyone else here on this board, let alone your petty, self-obsessed ass. What's more -- as anyone who's known me for five minutes can attest -- five out of six of my exes cheated on me, in one form or another, and yet I still cling to a faint but ever-present hope that that one girl's out there. fresia yes, I'm bitter -- and my trust issues are not merely waning, they're non-existent! So don't assume that you're some special ******* case that everyone should take immediate pity on. I'm not offended by your presumptuous assertion that your life has seen more heartache than mine or that of anyone else on this board; I'm merely annoyed. It's glitter-speckled drama whores like you who make me gag at the state of our world. For fresia's sake, get a clue.

P.S. I wrote "petty," not "pretty." If you read the latter, congratulations, you're a narcissist.

er...lol, I believe she's like 42, dear.

Really? Her profile didn't state her age. Oh well, her attitude, demeanor, and syntax on this entire thread gave me the strictest impression that she was just another pathetic, hormone-pumped teenager.

She speaks for herself.