I forgot the feeling of happiness.....

[NoMoreHope]

Loneliness creeps under your feet, and grows and eventually consumes you. I forgot the feeling of happiness a long time ago. The sad thing is, i am only 16. I don't have any friends, i am not bad looking also, i go to the gym everyday. But i am very socially awkward. My personality is a huge turn off for everyone, day by day as i drag my feet to the halls of my school. I get tired, hoping something just cuts this loneliness in my heart. Nothing makes you feel like honeysuckle, when its a friday night all of the people of my highschool is having fun, and i am here laying on my bed, making a thread on this forum. I just want to kill myself. To end this tormenting soul of mine trap in this cold world. Never i felt this feeling of loneliness, that just blocks the whole world. I think I am going crazy, I am so scared for my life. I want to have so much fun. But yet i cant possibly do it. I have tried to make friends, but i fail all the time. Almost always making a fool of myself. Happiness is a thing I crave so bad. I need it so badly. I need friends, that care for me. I need a family that understands me. I need parents that will take time and talk to me about life's problems. I need siblings that hangout with me and laugh with me. I need relatives, that remember me, that i am still alive. I need people around me. I need something. I need a guide. I need god's love. I need care. I need someone to light up the passion in my heart. I need unconditional love that binds me. I need happiness..

 

[A new life]

When what you're doing isn't working try something new.
Not necessarily a radical change, but change none the less.

If we keep doing the same things
We keep getting the same results.

Hang in there.

 

[evanescencefan91]

*hugs nomorehope*

oh god when I was 16,
i know what you mean ( that ryhmed )

highschool was hell, i just wanted to die every friday night, actually it wasn't too bad I would out a frozen pizza in the oven pop in a dvd of will and grace, just watch will and grace eat pizza and play the guitar all night long, actually it was kinda nice,

will and grace is f*cking hilarious

but i know the sad feeling of friday and having no plans

my senior year i got out of class at 1:30 so i would go home and take a nap,
ahh ya it was awesome

sorry memory lane,

making friends in highschool is hard espically during like the middle of the year and such becuase then it seems like everyone is solidfied into their cliques and group of friends, but that doesn't mean it's impossible to make friends still and you'll often find other kids sitting alone at lunch you can join,
but I maded due, by just doing things I likied to do, and learned how to enjoy my own comapany, by senior year i really had like no friends but i still ended up having a great year and i actually got above a 4.0 for two of the trimesters that year,

and it's not hopeless you're still young and highschool will end, graduating highschool was one of the most liberating feelings of my life,
I never have to see or deal with any of those fucks again, and get a chance to start a new,

so far college has been a pretty good experience

you still have hope left and I wish you the best of luck

*hugs*

 

[blueberry]

hey!! i know exactly how u feel
i even remember exactly when was the last time i felt really happy..and that was 4 years ago. college years.i just broke up with my bf. i was in a wrong relationship anyway. and i was just done with my midterms exams. i was walking to my car. at that moment suddenly i realize i was actually happy. and it hits me that all this while i was not happy.

sad news.the happiness didn't last. now i'm mostly depressed;p
but life goes on..u hold tight ok! it's not how many friends u have. it's the real friends that count!
now u have a good day ok! take care!

 

[sou]

.... that was touchy... u should be a script writer... lonely or not.. u r good in what you do...