I guess I dont have a gf anymore

[SophiaGrace]

and I really dont know what to think about it.

She used to be really affectionate. and then she got hung up with the whole Christianity and homosexuality do not go together. So we had an argument, she relapsed, but ultimately decided to come back online. She was affectionate afterwards...but I felt myself having to push the affection along.

And lately, I feel like all my attempts at affection are being shoved away. I kiss her, she doesnt kiss me back. (this is online via IM format btw)

This has gotten worse after she got back from a trip to New Orleans.

I feel affection-starved. She refers to me as her "best friend" to everyone else and last night said something along the lines of " we are friends..." in a passing comment. She complained about the fact that there was no good theological debates, which made me feel as though her first priority was not to spend time with me, but rather debate with other people.

The only reason why i go on Second Life anymore is to spend time with her, so I felt a little dumb when she said this.

It's also usually me that drives our conversations.

I've noted before that when she doesnt want to associate with people she just responds to them with silence to bring a message across. So I'm feeling like she is doing this to me. Stone-walling me to try to tell me " I've chosen my religion, back off"

And I will back off. I mean her sobriety and her religion are inextricably linked and I wouldnt want to hurt her by challenging her religion. So...I'll back off.

It just hurts, you know? I told her I'd love her forever (and...I will).

A few weeks ago All I could think was "I cant imagine you not being in my life." and now its like...i should banish that thought.

What's going on here guys? Is my head playing tricks on me? Am I thinking about it too hard?

???

 

[MiKeY]

Sophia,

Have you thought about writing all of these feelings in an email? Be totally open, honest, and hold nothing back. After all, if you tell her how you feel and she says that she chooses her religion, then you really haven't lost anything as you feel the heartache already.

There's no good answer here, but the only thing I can suggest is that you find out for sure whether or not she's in it or out of it. That way, you know whether or not your heartache is warranted, or it's all in your head.

The other thing... if you're left wondering whether or not she likes you all the time... do you really want that kind of relationship?? I mean, I can't imagine going to bed thinking everything is alright, and then waking up to wonder if you were wrong.

Best of luck with the situation.

 

[Gothmother]

Hi Sophia,
Sounds to me like shes a bit mixed up about how she feels and has a whole bunch of issues and personal morals which she's addressing as debate(maybe justifying to herself?).
Debate is good btw, its healthy and keeps the old grey matter ticking over (not sure about 2nd life though, it shouldnt be a sub for real life)
Being best friends is in my personal opinion the best start to any relashionship as with that comes trust and the ability to communicate mostly.
People are individuals, first and formost, that is somthing we tend to forget when we cant see beyond our own needs.
I am pretty sure that if you was to explain your feelings and worries to your friend she might be able to understand and maybe offer up her side of the story to you which would put to bed your fears and woes.
Hope you get the answers you seek.
hugs
Gothmother.

 

[evanescencefan91]

*hugs sophia*

aw man i'm really sorry about your situation thats gotta hurt.

anyone that would chose religion over you truely has some issues. Tell her to stop getting her morals from the old testiment, does she know that the same part of the bible also bans eating pork and wearing clothing made out more than one type of fabric.

being a good christina or being anykind of good religious person, means being kind and helping others. She is really missing the pooint. Being religious should not mean being a conservative homaphobe.

i'm sorry last year i lost my best friend,we weren't going out or anyhting. Although lol one time she said if she couldn't find a date to prom she would dress me up in a tux and i'd be her back up date. we were close, but i was always the back up person for her, i became back up friend she only really considered being friends with me again when she thought she had lost her other friends



i'm sorry but don't worry things will get better.

Although they may be hard to find there are other really good people in this world

 

[kaze-kage]

This sounds like the same kind of thing I went through. I can tell she means a lot to you, and its hard because you can't control it. I think you should think about it more, I use to tell myself in that situation that I can only truly love someone that loves me back. It seems like you give a lot and don't get much in return.. It's hard to deal with, losing someone that was that important to you...

Also what evanescencefan91 said was right, if someone really chooses their religion over you, I can't understand that.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I agree with GothMother... Maybe she's just not too sure herself. Or too sure of herself. I don't really know what to think of it either. I would just give her a bit of space. See what she does, or how she reacts to it.

If you truly love someone or something, let it go. If it comes back to you, then you know it's yours.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I agree with GothMother... Maybe she's just not too sure herself. Or too sure of herself. I don't really know what to think of it either. I would just give her a bit of space. See what she does, or how she reacts to it.

If you truly love someone or something, let it go. If it comes back to you, then you know it's yours.

Yeah that's what I've decided to do. Give her space. I dont want to hurt her by making her choose between me and her religion.

Hopefully if things dont work out we can at least still be friends.

 

[SilentThinker]

It is hard to manage people with different beliefs.I think it would depend on you to continue or not.

Cheers.

 

[Drake]

Soph, firstly I'd like to apologize for being so hung up with my own depression lately to ask how things have been going with you. Secondly, I'm really sorry to hear about that it definetely sounds like she is having doubts, if not already made her decision about your relationship. I think the only thing you can do right now is give her time, maybe even just a week and ask her if you two can still be together. Even if it doesn't work out maybe its for the best hun, remember what we've talked about before, about her expectations for you? I still feel those need to be adressed and I dont remember you telling me you've talked to her about it. Either way I want you to know I'm here for you to talk to any time, you will be okay Soph.

 

[BUOY]

Sorry you're hurting. （　´_ゝ`）
I agree with MiKey. It is important to that it's said to avoid getting hurt every time there is a hint of the warmth you knew.
People do change their perceptions as they move through life. You may even look at this relationship one day and see that you needed a bit more give and less take. Of course, your on the inside now but perspective will come.

bear hugggg
I hope it hurts less soon

 

[dead]

:hug:


soph, i know what you are going through. i'm so sorry.
(it's kinda same here. how the hell do you get over someone. when your heart sunders every time you see something that reminds you of them. i would tear my skin open if that would give me peace.)

i'm here for you if you need someone to listen, be there - or for random affection. not that i'm that great at any of these. but still.

 

[Zak]

its a very old thread dead. very very old story and soph isnt even here anymore

 

[BUOY]

Doh!
Thanks for pointing that out. ʘ.ʘ

 

[SophiaGrace]

Actually, here I am.

I wanted to email my ex this morning because I had a dream that they wrote me a letter.

In the dream I was outside looking up at the sky and there was this letter with my name on it, floating downward towards me and I knew it was from them. I reached over my head and grasped the letter in my hand, trying to read the writing on it but I couldnt. All I felt was emotion from the letter saying "I miss you" a wrenching heart-ache emotion.

When I woke up I realized that this wasn't a supernatural visitation message from my ex, but rather just my own emotions. And the letter came from writing a friend yesterday.

I'm pretty sure my ex hates me. We haven't spoken in nearly a year.

....Life goes on.

 

[Badjedidude]

^^^WELCOME BACK, SOPH!!!

 

[SophiaGrace]

^^^WELCOME BACK, SOPH!!!

Someone told me that there was a necro-bumping of one of my threads and I became curious and came back to see which thread. Then I wanted to post, and in order to do that I had to come back.

So yes, I am back.

Hi BJD. =)

 

[Mary Mary]

'Necro-bumping'

I'll have to remember that phrase

 

[jales]

Welcome back Soph. Why wont you stay?

 

[csmswhs]

welcome back where did you go?

 

[SophiaGrace]

welcome back where did you go?

Offline lol. I think i read 20 books while i was gone.