I hate my workmates

[Olde shoe]

I live alone and do not have any friends or family to turn to when things don't go right.

I'm the type of person who's usually silent. At work people hate me because they say I'm this or that when truth to the matter I haven't even said or done anything to offend them (At least nothing to my knowledge or intent)

What's worse I live in an apartment in which three of my female workmates are next door and I can clearly hear the things they say about me due to the poor soundproofing of the walls. I've heard them call me all sorts of derogatory names. These women are such gossips and talk about anybody so long as it makes them look better than everybody else.

If I had my way they'd be bludgeoned to death for the lies they spread. I'm angry and frustrated and am starting to hate my job because of my workmates.

In the workplace I am Satan and they're all saints and angels. --I'm not perfect but I don't put myself in such high esteem as they do. Injustice.

I'm glad that Hell exists.

---"And thus I clothe my naked villainy with old odd ends stol'n forth from holy writ and seem a saint when most I play the Devil"---

 

[kamya]

These kinds of people have been at every job I've ever worked at. They are easy to spot because they are always superficially nice to everyone and as soon as they get alone with someone all they want to talk about is gossip about other people. If someone is bad mouthing another in front of you, you can bet they are bad mouthing you in front of others.

I'm usually pretty quiet too. You know, focusing on doing actual work and all. People make honeysuckle up. Someone once got fired for posting crap about me on facebook. I didn't even know why he got fired until afterwards. There's always one person who is happy to inform you of what everyone is saying about you. They don't do it because they care, they just want to see how you react.

I don't really have much advise other than my rant. I've quit all of my jobs for reasons like that. I can be a vindictive person. I always try to wait until the perfect time to quit to cause the most amount of work or financial loss for these kinds of people. (this works really well if you are the only person able to do your job, or you know who you work will be pushed onto.) It doesn't accomplish much. I wouldn't plan on doing that if you want to list them on an application. Don't get me wrong, I'm a great employee, until you piss me off.

 

[A new life]

Sounds like you need to start over.
New job and new place of residence.
Your anger may well be justified,
But it's a little scary none the less.

Good luck to you.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Sorry to hear about the, it hurts when people want to talk smack about you and don't even know you. But that seems to be the case with people like you, ones who are quiet and don't interact much. People start to form their own opinions about you based on what they don't know. So, maybe you have offended them in some way, like if someone tries to talk to you at work what do you do? Do you keep it short and simple and don't say much? Personally I haven't had this problem in the workplace because I can become VERY social within my environment, take me out of it though and I'm like you, quiet. But I have experienced the feelings you are having in school when I was picked on by others who didn't know me. So I get the bludgeon them feeling, just don't actually do that though. I agree with A new life, sounds like you need to start over, new job etc, that's if you can. If you can't then you have an even harder job ahead of you. You will need to open yourself up a bit more and let your coworkers get to know you.

I wish I could hire you, here I work one on one with my coworkers, seriously I usually only have one or two other coworkers. I'm bad for liking to get to know those I work with more and have more of a "friend" relationship with them...which isn't always a good thing when you're their boss. Maybe you should try that, befriend one person at a time, except for those bitches across the hall from you, they can burn in hell. (jk btw just ignore them).

 

[Pheenix]

It is always healthy to ask yourself honestly: can I be part of the problem? Many have bad habits they do not even know.

Otherwise, yes, quit...

 

[Appleseed761]

Oh.., oh, I feel for you! I don't really know what to say except I agree with what the other people have written on this thread!

I am so sorry for your situation! Kamya is right, these sh*t stirrers (scuse my french!) are everywhere in the workplace and unfortunately everywhere in the world... We all come across it to some degree in our lives including myself at my work- it is human nature to gossip, ***** and put other people down- everyone handles it differently but it is really not nice and people don't think about how their victim is feeling or the negative effect it has on their lives! (Argh, I hate dat!)

You are right though not to put yourself in high esteem as your co-workers. I just hope that you can make a firm decision to change your situation and hopefully claim some peace and happiness that you deserve!

Good luck!

 

[Limlim]

******** gotta pay the bills too I guess. They need jobs like the rest of us.

Unfortunately it seems like a large number of them happened to land where you work. Terrible luck that.

 

[Petia]

Olde shoe, have you tried talking to them openly and telling them how you feel about the lies they tell?

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Personally I dont really give a fresia what anyone thinks or say about me.,..its healthy living N thinking.
I have better things to do with my life to worry about what bitches say or do.
I worked with plenty of bitches (males or females) I never mind them.
Yes..I put on that fake smile as ur friendly co-work...I just take it as one of my job duties..as a sale person would always have to smile...but I dont enternalize the bullshit.
People dont have that much power over me...

Quit my job becuz bitched are talking about me??? that fucken retarded N giving other people too
god **** much power.

if people likes me...great.
If people dont like me...Oh fucken well.
I have to pay my fucken bills too bitches...n they all can kiss my fucken ass.

Let get back to the basics...oK
its SELF ESTEEM or self worth....not other people's worth.
Its what I think about myself not what others think.

People are just people..they all bleed just like me. No one is better than me.
If I think others are better than me....will I just need to change my thinking about that honeysuckle.
Its really really simple...

 

[Lynx]

Do not quit, olde shoe, simply because of this. I know it's not a great situation, but these people exist everywhere. They are an aspect of humanity and unfortunately inescapable. I would suggest maybe partaking in some self-esteem workshops? It's been my experience that these things grow where the seed of self-doubt and uncertainty already exists.

 

[Langveldt]

When we are too disturbed from our mates then we have to say that we hate our mates. Now I also have this problem, I was good towards my mates but when they showed off their true color and did no work at all and just entered in my group to take my help and they only used me. Now i hate them and don't want to meet them again and classes are over also.

 

[Olde shoe]

Thanks for the advice and encouragement everyone. It's well appreciated.

Recently, in spite of the bad things around me, I find myself able to endure all of it.

I've learned not to expect much from life and somehow I find myself content nowadays. It's difficult to explain how I could possibly be content and happy in the midst of so many bad things happening in my life.

Am I insane? Perhaps by other people's standards.

I find solace in work and sleep.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Good for you.

Insane? I think we all are a little insane, but in a good way.

 

[4wardMotion]

You don't let b*tches force you out of a job.

If evil, nasty, hateful people are the only downside of your job, then you stay. You may have to change and even play, and beat them at, their own games.

If they are doing these things on company time, they are probably violating a rule of some sort. Is there a way to have a superior catch them in the act or record them? Have you documented what they do on the job that is against company policy?

I know lowering yourself to their level is not turning the other cheek or being the bigger person. People who are inherently good try to deal with situations or work them out civilly. That doesn't work with tacky people who have no conscience.

Good luck to you.

 

[omgawesome]

I first read this and I felt right there with you... until the part about your workmates living next to you.

In any case... when I started at my job it was good. It was a start up business though and as the business grew the employees grew. My boss is a nice guy personally but a horrible business owner and makes horrible business choices. He hired a 19 year old who had never worked in an office environment before. She then had her friend, a male also young with no real job experience, hired. They turned that office and my life in particular upside down.

Every day I went to work and it was a battle. I honestly can't even describe it. I didn't say hi and I was a jerk. The way I transferred a call was rude. Oh I remember this whole snarky email situation where I was told not to ballpark an amount because it was always off by a little... weird as that's what ballparking is, not an exact amount but a round about ballpark price!

The worst was that another one joined the crowd. A little older but still in what I liked to call the under 25 crowd. I'll never forget the day that he told me to shut the eff up.... and didn't get fired. Instead I was written up.

I went home in tears the day I was told to Shutup. I have never been talked to that way before and every single day since then I've felt threatened by him. Not threatened in a physical way or even a way I could have him fired or something - but threatened in the sense that if I say something to him that he doesn't particularly like - He'll verbally jump on top of me. He has. It's this way that he has of talking to people like they're less than dirt. It's disgusting and it's not something that I can deal with.

The other two were fired... but this guy, I still have to see him every day. You can hear it in his tone - the anger he has when he has to speak to me. It's a horrible feeling for me. I never did anything to him and I get pure HATRED from him and it makes me feel disgusting. and I don't know how he still has a job. He has complaints from customers daily to the point where people refuse to talk to him... and yet, he still has a job.

It's a horrible feeling.

It's been two months since you posted this. How are things now?

 

[Happy_Aspie]

I'm new to this forum but could'nt help but respond. I hope you are doing much better now whether you've left the job or not. I recently confronted my boss on misinformation about me at work going on for almost 3 years of which I have never confronted anyone before.

It was the straw that broke the camels back. Thing is I know he was in on it too possibly to serve his purposes and I called him out on it. I have come to realise that not confronting and coming foward with facts gives them room to thrive. These spineless creatures that cause problems in the job can only operate in the hidden.

The best way to deal with them is exposure but with a 'don't mess with me attitude'. I was afraid of confronting people at work because like you I dont have a support system and other than having an extra income I've chosen classes instead. This supervisor at work she loves to walk around talking about church and the bible etc. I'm not christian so in her book I'm evil regardless of the nasty two faced things she does. Gave the boss misinformation about me without even discussing anything with me smiling in my face and stabbing me in the back. My boss then asked me about it and I replied honestly saying she NEVER gave me a deadline and the section was completed at the day I said so. The actual job was very well completed in the 2 week alloted time frame. She's not a common sense type of person and she is threatened by me. She was just being nasty. He then goes on to say 'well when she gives you a deadline try to finish it at that time..' totally disregarding what I said. That was when I went on him!

I stated all the times that she was deceitful, how I knew and that she could kiss my arse. I went on to prove that I knew he joked on me too and that people thought I was wierd and I clarified all the gossip and rumors spreading and told him that his management of his workers was a sheer failure. I highlighted how he gave preferential treatment and in doing so he was creating monsters that I knew he was having problems with but kept silent on. I told him the next time this happens again there would be dire reprecussions.

I exected him to retaliate and he actually agreed with what I said. Things went a bit better from there cuz they fear me more. You don't necessarily have to raise your voice like I did but if this affects your raise of pay or promotion transparency is the cure. Why must you leave your job cuz of them? You just have to be accurate with the info disprove everything in front of everyone. Truthfully they don't like you already and nothing you do, smiling and acting normal, can change that.

Sometimes being unpopular is easier. That way you can be a total ***** at work, not care about their feelings and get things done better.