i love loving

[h i]

http://www.alonelylife.com/showthread.php?tid=7362

i liked this one woman a while back from another site that was just fun to love. id send her things and we would talk. i just liked chasing after her more then anything really.

i like this one woman from this site, that likes me. how kewl is that?! likes me... ive already found her favorite type of stuffed animal and sent her a present. its just fun to love.

i started back with the other woman who i chased after, and got like way ahead of myself. i told the one woman though and we just like paused, cause i dont cheat. i wrote this letter with emotions and stuff and being all serious and romantic. just being me... i kind of like that i can be like that, and that she always kind of says no. but, i was kind of serious, and like, what if she says yes... now that i wrote it all down, and thought about it, im really not that into her. should i call and tell her not to read the letter? im pretty sure shell say no like always...

has anyone ever wanted something so bad, and once you got it or did it, you changed and realized you didnt want it? its like as soon as i mailed the letter, i kind of just lost my crush on her. it just like, shes played reserved and hard to get so long, thats really all i think of when i think of her. no real future with her, just a challenge. i still like her as a friend and i dont want to sleep with her or use her cause thats just not me. but i want her to like me.

 

[Badjedidude]

You don't sound very convinced either way. I think you might want to take a moment to stop and consider all sides of what's going on with your relationship status. Maybe you're just jittery after having written something so deeply emotional? Hah and there's nothing wrong with that...just take a minute to be SURE, is all I'm saying.

No, don't call her and tell her not to open the letter. Let her read it and see what she does. If she feels deeply attracted to you, then you'll just have to let her down easy. If not, then there's no real problem. You can just explain that you were venting some pent-up emotions. I think she'll understand either way.

----Steve

 

[Coverage]

Considering you have already sent the letter there isnt really any way to stop her from reading it. No matter her response to it, your best course of action would probably be to just tell her how you really feel. I assume you cant actually meet her face to face so do it over the phone.

I'd caution you not to tie yourself down with relationships that you may or may not have with women over the internet. Unless you are able to physically meet these women then your online communication with them will eventually end for one reason or another, and I'd suggest that you dont make yourself unavaliable to someone who you can have a true physical relationship with, because that would do much more to help your social development than going wild over women over the internet will. (in my opinion of course)

 

[SophiaGrace]

your online communication with them will eventually end for one reason or another, and I'd suggest that you dont make yourself unavaliable to someone who you can have a true physical relationship with, because that would do much more to help your social development than going wild over women over the internet will. (in my opinion of course)

I wholeheartedly agree with this. This is the EXACT reason why I refuse to get into an online relationship...because I know it only takes a year or two for it to fizzle online...and then you go your separate ways and what have you done? You've spent years staring at a little box called your monitor typing to a person whom you've never met when you couldve spent your time getting OUT of your little world that youve curled up in in a depressed little ball. Hell the person you were talking to could be lying about their gender, age, marital status. EVERYTHING. believe me people do lie about these things. And you might never find out. Even if the person is telling the truth...it'll eventually fizzle anyway if you cant find a way to be together offline.

And I know I am tied down by my schooling right now so I cant exactly move to where the person is....and if wasnt tied down my school and moved to where the guy was I'd be isolated from my family, and if the guy turned out to be abusive he wouldnt even have to expend any effort isolating me so he could play his little mind games on me. i'd basically be doomed.

Internet Relationships = a no no in my book

 

[h i]

the person you were talking to could be lying about their gender, age, marital status. EVERYTHING. believe me people do lie about these things. And you might never find out. Even if the person is telling the truth...it'll eventually fizzle anyway

thats real life relationships... more then online.

 

[Zak]

I absolutely disagree with people who say online relationships wont last long or they are bullshit. I am in one from a year and I am gonna prove you all wrong in a short while. I will post my marriage pictures here and then you will all know it.

 

[C o l d]

I met my ex online, had an one year a long distance/online relationship before I moved. The way she was online and the way she was during the holidays(we met like once every 3 months) that we met, turned out to be much different that who she truly was: a psychopath. People definitely fake who they are online, in real life they can fake it just as hard, but you will find out a lot faster.

 

[Coverage]

the person you were talking to could be lying about their gender, age, marital status. EVERYTHING. believe me people do lie about these things. And you might never find out. Even if the person is telling the truth...it'll eventually fizzle anyway

thats real life relationships... more then online.

Its much easier to to hide something from someone when the only thing they know about you is what you type in a message or tell them over the phone. In an online relatonship you dont see the other persons facial expressions, you dont see their home, their family, their friends. Sure someone can lie to you in a physical relationship, but at least you have more to go on then just what they tell you.

 

[Porman]

I met my ex online, had an one year a long distance/online relationship before I moved. The way she was online and the way she was during the holidays(we met like once every 3 months) that we met, turned out to be much different that who she truly was: a psychopath. People definitely fake who they are online, in real life they can fake it just as hard, but you will find out a lot faster.

Honestly, If you found a girl online that wanted/was willing to do long distance relationships, with someone you dont really know/havnt met, then you can expect that they have some serious issues.

I avoid these people like the plague

 

[Oceanmist23]

I met my ex online, had an one year a long distance/online relationship before I moved. The way she was online and the way she was during the holidays(we met like once every 3 months) that we met, turned out to be much different that who she truly was: a psychopath. People definitely fake who they are online, in real life they can fake it just as hard, but you will find out a lot faster.

Honestly, If you found a girl online that wanted/was willing to do long distance relationships, with someone you dont really know/havnt met, then you can expect that they have some serious issues.

I avoid these people like the plague

Who are you to tell a person to expect that a girl willing to have a long distance relationship have serious issues? It's fine to have your own opinion about this subject, but to straight out tell another person what to expect is just wrong.

I'm gonna say this not to defend my own situation, but to be the voice for those who are in long distance relationships or about to enter into one. There are in fact people, perfectly healthy normal people who are willing to be in long distance relationships for whatever amount of time it takes for them to meet the person they've fallen in love with. Why? Because nobody can help who they fall in love with. Once it has happened and both parts are serious about it, nothing can come in the way of their relationship, not even distance.

Some people have issues, others certainly don't. Some people fake who they are online, others certainly don't. And to generalize and think that all or most people who are willing to do long distance relationships have issues or are faking who they really are, well... good luck with that train of thought.
If long distance relationships are not for you, cool. But don't bash something you don't have true experience of. Because even if someone has had a bad experience with long distance relationships it doesn't mean that's the norm for everyone.

 

[Porman]

Oceanmist, I was reffering to the people who want relationships with people who they have never met in real life. To people who say they love someone they dont even know...

Sorry, I dont mean long distant relationships, I mean "I have no ******* idea who you are" relationships.

 

[Oceanmist23]

Well if a person was intentionally looking for an online relationship I would raise an eyebrow or two.
But people do fall in love with each other online without having met in real life.
It's very possible and it's the case for more and more people in today's society because of the internet.
The way I see it is this - Just because two people get to know each other online and fall in love and proceed with an online long distance relationship, doesn't mean they're nuts. If given the choice, these people would NOT be in a long distance relationship, especially not for a long amount of time, but due to for example poor economy it makes it impossible for them to meet and continue the relationship outside of the net for perhaps a very long time. There's nothing wrong about that. It's just **** unfortunate and unfair.

 

[Porman]

There is nothing wrong with finding a liking to someone online and wanting to meet up, and get to know eachother from there... but to declare it a relationship before you meet is odd in my mind.

 

[h i]

people who say they love someone they dont even know...

Sorry, I dont mean long distant relationships, I mean "I have no ******* idea who you are" relationships.

coming from a person on a lonely forum... what do you know about doing things right? FAIL

please dont argue anymore. this is pathetic. like blind leading blind.

...You've spent years staring at a little box called your monitor typing to a person whom you've never met... Hell the person you were talking to could be lying about their gender, age, marital status. EVERYTHING. believe me people do lie about these things. And you might never find out.

it took me awhile to catch the real meaning behind this response. all i came away with, was a question of your online creditability. how do i know what you say is real now?

 

[Oceanmist23]

There is nothing wrong with finding a liking to someone online and wanting to meet up, and get to know eachother from there... but to declare it a relationship before you meet is odd in my mind.

There you go It's odd in your mind And that's alright.

To the people in the long distance relationships it can be perfectly right and normal to call it a relationship and say 'I love you' without having physically met. Nothing wrong about it. The only reason why many people might see that as odd is because it's not as common as having a regular relationship. If it was just as common it would be equally accepted in society.
Simply because something isn't common it doesn't make it wrong. It just makes it different. Different choices and different views for different people.

For anyone who may think that online LDR's are poor relationships or not as valid as regular relationships:
The key ingredient of any healthy relationship is communication, and communication becomes the foundation of online long distance relationships because that's the main element these couples have.
So, the key ingredient is there. And from that key ingredient comes trust, respect, love, friendship, you name it. What's missing is the physical element, being able to touch each other, see each others quirky behaviors, hang out together in person, see family and friends together and so on.
What I'm trying to point out here is that with online LDR's the foundation of a healthy and solid relationship is already in place before the physical element comes into effect. Does that guarantee once the couple meet their relationship will be a success? Of course not, but at least both parts are determined to make it work, and won't let petty arguments come in their way. They will use the foundation of their relationship to best try and solve whatever problems may arise. So from this, online LDR's can be very strong, and grow to be even stronger after meeting in person.

At the end of the day, it really is a case of having to experience it for oneself to fully understand the situation and the feelings involved.

 

[SophiaGrace]

...You've spent years staring at a little box called your monitor typing to a person whom you've never met... Hell the person you were talking to could be lying about their gender, age, marital status. EVERYTHING. believe me people do lie about these things. And you might never find out.

it took me awhile to catch the real meaning behind this response. all i came away with, was a question of your online creditability. how do i know what you say is real now?

You dont. Plain and simple

The thing is...is that you have to be really careful about online relationships or even friendships with people you've never met.

There are a few ways to figure out whether or not people are "real":

1) Webcam (hey you can see the person is the gender/age they say they are):

2.)facebook page (You can see more info about them and by who their friends are you can tell if it's a fake account. If they have people from all over the world as their friends..it may be fake...but if it has specific groups of people from a specific are or university it's more likely to be real)

3) Pictures are NOT a reliable medium to tell if someone is real. A person can give you pictures of a person that isnt even themselves.

4)Another unreliable medium is whether or not the person's story seems consistent. Even if it seems consistent, if they dont give you information about their offline selves...something is amiss.

5) Microphones...if the person refuses to use a microphone. Something may be wrong. They may be refusing because theyre really a guy when they've told you theyre a girl. And if you actually do get them on a mic, be forewarned that there are computerized voice changing programs the person can download to change their voice (though I think these are easily recognized by their sound as far as I know...)

Bottom line: If they dont give you information about their offline selves (real name, facebook, address, cell number) there's something wrong.

And I know people are reluctant to give this information out to strangers (well...some of it...) but if you arent getting it like a year later something's afoot. They have something to hide or theyre extremely paranoid.

Either way, progress has been stagnated for one reason or another.

And this just deals with the issue of whether or not the person is who they say they are. This doesnt deal with lies you cant find via google (such as whether or not they have a love interest or if they have a criminal record...or if theyre just playing with your head for their own selfish ego-boost. have drug, alcohol or gambling issues).

 

[h i]

i dont have a facebook... or a webcam... or a microphone... :\

people who have that stuff are nerds...

i, umm, used the mail to send real presents, and used a phone...

plus i live in florida... people throw away prepaid phones all the time when selling boosted stuff and drugs. phone numbers dont mean anything. plus women with children, which is everyone in florida, cause spring break and other events... dont tell you they have children. even worse if they have an std... plus for my age, they either live with their parents, friends, or bum around. addresses dont mean anything. my work even has my old address. everything from work gets the yellow sticker from the post office from a readdress with my new address. real life = liars.

plus after your post, i still question your online creditability.

you must just be paranoid... shame.

 

[Badjedidude]

5) Microphones...if the person refuses to use a microphone. Something may be wrong.

I never use a microphone! I just never wanted to mess with the hassle of buying one and setting up the software or screwing around with Skype or whatever. I know...I'm so lazy.

I do keep up my correspondence online, though, so...

ME = EXCEPTION! ^_^

----Steve

 

[Coverage]

i still question your online creditability.

What is online credibility? Do you have online credibility? I thought I had some at one time, sadly I think I lost it not too long ago. Not sure though to be honest. Hell, maybe I still have some....


On a completely unrelated note I do have some swampland in Florida I'm selling cheap. PM me if your interested.

 

[Badjedidude]

o_0 haha yeah I'm sort of wondering what online credibility is also.

Number of posts? Username?

Length of time on tehs internetz?

----Steve