I miss the touch of a woman so much it hurts, I miss the warmth, I miss everything.
Seven years ago my "wife" told me she didn't love me anymore. I could not believe it. The conversation opened up the fact that she had a two year affair with her boss and several one night stands.
I really wanted to keep her, I loved her so very much.
Right after our second daughter she got very ill, I stuck by her side and shouldered a house, two young girls, work, her rehab and insurance. It has taken her this long to get 50% of what she used to be.
She still, I can feel it, doesn't love me. It is all about her, her looks, her condition, the girls and NOTHING else. And I MEAN that.
I was 200% faithful.
But now at 44 years old, I miss intimacy so much. If anything I miss a woman. Don't need to degrade myself anymore, but I am starved.
I work in a very place, so many attractive women.
Many are most certainly flirting, I still hold my line. But I am starved.
At times I've felt like I have to be a MAN and do not betray my holly commitment. But it is so hard.
My option has always been, and it is STILL very much an option, to off myself AND END THE PAIN. How much embarrasment and shame can a man take.
Should I pay for sex?, should I follow her path and be unfaithful?.
I KNOW be best way in my mind is to end it with a 9mm in my mouth.
But I love my two girls so very much, I think about them being without their daddy.
But when do I become relevant? what about my feelings and my needs?
I want to give a WOMAN what a have inside my heart, inside my soul. Not just getting off.....
What would be the best Daddy? the one who divorces Mom and you grow up without a father figure or the one is there from a distance while spending the rest of his life with a different woman who makes him happy and enjoying life??
I DO NOT want to be selfish, but where is that line?
Seven years ago my "wife" told me she didn't love me anymore. I could not believe it. The conversation opened up the fact that she had a two year affair with her boss and several one night stands.
I really wanted to keep her, I loved her so very much.
Right after our second daughter she got very ill, I stuck by her side and shouldered a house, two young girls, work, her rehab and insurance. It has taken her this long to get 50% of what she used to be.
She still, I can feel it, doesn't love me. It is all about her, her looks, her condition, the girls and NOTHING else. And I MEAN that.
I was 200% faithful.
But now at 44 years old, I miss intimacy so much. If anything I miss a woman. Don't need to degrade myself anymore, but I am starved.
I work in a very place, so many attractive women.
Many are most certainly flirting, I still hold my line. But I am starved.
At times I've felt like I have to be a MAN and do not betray my holly commitment. But it is so hard.
My option has always been, and it is STILL very much an option, to off myself AND END THE PAIN. How much embarrasment and shame can a man take.
Should I pay for sex?, should I follow her path and be unfaithful?.
I KNOW be best way in my mind is to end it with a 9mm in my mouth.
But I love my two girls so very much, I think about them being without their daddy.
But when do I become relevant? what about my feelings and my needs?
I want to give a WOMAN what a have inside my heart, inside my soul. Not just getting off.....
What would be the best Daddy? the one who divorces Mom and you grow up without a father figure or the one is there from a distance while spending the rest of his life with a different woman who makes him happy and enjoying life??
I DO NOT want to be selfish, but where is that line?