I Miss My Cancer Stick

[bodeilla]

I quit smoking yesterday. I miss it. I quit in 2009 after smoking for 15 years and then I started up again 3 weeks ago. I quit again because it's the right thing to do. I don't want to give it up. I'm not ready to part with my smoke breaks. The cigarettes was my friend. Not really... it was killing me. But emotionally, it was helping me. I miss that emotional support.

I guess I have to fill it some other way. How? I haven't figured it out yet. When I hurt emotionally, it was there for me. When I was irritated, it was there for me. When I needed a break, it helped me out. Now I go out on the back patio and sit. Just sit... It helps some. But it's not the same.

I was miserable before the smoking. Now it's worse that I quit. The smoking really helped me. It's so awful for you, I won't go back. I just have to get over it. One more lost relationship.

 

[perfanoff]

If you need help, nicorette is your friend!

 

[Parabolani]

Go to an aged care facility or hospital and talk to someone who is on oxygen management.

 

[bodeilla]

The patch is my new best friend. But I can always use more. Can you chew the gum too? While on the patch?

I downloaded an app from iTunes which shows horrific pictures of patients with lung cancer. Also shows what it does to people's teeth. It helps me keep track of the money I'm saving and how well I'm doing. Another good friend. LOL.

So I guess, I'm on the plus side. But it's hard when it feels like cigarettes were my best friend.

I tried making a real friend recently and that didn't go so well.

 

[perfanoff]

The patch is my new best friend. But I can always use more. Can you chew the gum too? While on the patch?

I downloaded an app from iTunes which shows horrific pictures of patients with lung cancer. Also shows what it does to people's teeth. It helps me keep track of the money I'm saving and how well I'm doing. Another good friend. LOL.

So I guess, I'm on the plus side. But it's hard when it feels like cigarettes were my best friend.

I tried making a real friend recently and that didn't go so well.

No, you will OD on nicotine. In fact you can OD just on the gum itself if you chew it too fast. It could be good in the sense that you have something in your mouth which vaguely replaces cigarettes.

I had quit for a year (only at bars etc and not buy cigarettes) and impulsively started again (ok, maybe a Polish girl had something to do with it). Getting ready for the moment I'll decide to quit putting any cigarette in my mouth, ever.

 

[Gutted]

You are better off quitting. If not now, then in the long run. Maybe bring magazines to read with you when you're sitting around. Maybe some sort of game like Tetris on your phone if you have a mobile. Good luck. I hope you stay away from them.

Another idea.. Spend the money you save on cigarettes on stuff to keep you busy, lol.

 

[Okiedokes]

Maybe you could chew regular gum or have candies in place of the cigs while using the patch. Maybe even have something in your hand while you sit outside so you have that something keeping your hands busy.

 

[9006]

I think your doing very well, do it for your own health.

People who smoke always say the same about the relief side but often they don't know that it's the very nicotine then inhale that exacerbates stress, of course it causes the loop where you need a smoke to relieve it once again.

My mum smokes alot and has done for years, I always worry about her health but she's stubbern and will never quit, the least she could do is cut down, but anyway, I've seen her health deteriorate over the past 10 years, and she's developed a horrific cough that doesn't sound good at all.. anyway, I only hope you quit for your own sake.

Good luck!

 

[perfanoff]

Maybe you could chew regular gum or have candies in place of the cigs while using the patch. Maybe even have something in your hand while you sit outside so you have that something keeping your hands busy.

^ winner

 

[bodeilla]

These are all great ideas. Thanks.

 

[bodeilla]

I started again. It's not the physical that I miss. I wear the patch. I have apps that tell me how much I'm saving. I know the hazards. It's the emotional side. The mental attachment. I'm anxious all the time. The cigarette is my friend. It calms me. Not just the nicotine. But the ritual.

I started crying because I couldn't have a cigarette and ran out to the store and bought a pack. I think I will talk about this in therapy. I'm so anxious that I don't know what to do with myself. I will buy chewing gum and mints when I go to the store next. I need a 1-800-stop-smoking number. Someone to talk to.

I take medication for anxiety, but all it does is take the edge off. The smoking helps me deal with the rest. More meditation is probably the answer. But I always fall asleep. I usual lie down and relax with my headphones on. I should try sitting at my computer and watch youtube instead. That will help.

Again, thanks for everyone's support on this matter.

 

[SirLancelot]

Have you tried electronic cigarettes ?

 

[bodeilla]

I haven't thought about that. Seems like a good idea. I could do some research online. Thanks for the thought.

 

[perfanoff]

Hey bodeilla, don't worry, you get experience and next time you try stopping you will be more prepared.

And for me, today I decided to see how long I can go without smoking. I had run out of cigarettes in the morning and I felt like leaving my lighter at home. So, I have the weirdest feeling that I quit because I am too much of a cheapskate to buy a 50c lighter

---

So, day 1

 

[IgnoredOne]

Never started, so I never had to quit. You have my sympathies.

 

[bodeilla]

Thanks for the support. Ordered the e-Cigarette. Got the starter kit. It arrived without fluid. Bummer... now I'm waiting on my order of liquid to arrive. Figured the starter kit would have everything needed.

But then weird... when I contacted customer support, they said the starter kit came pre-filled. But I don't think mine is. I'm not getting much vapor. And it hurts to smoke. So, I'm waiting for liquid. I don't want to burn out a piece of equipment, which is possible.

They haven't replied. So I'm really confused. But extra liquid is good. Because if it is pre-filled, it won't last long. But I'm waiting to hear back before I try again... that's if it is pre-filled.

 

[SophiaGrace]

oh look, you've inspired pernanoff to quit too.

Nice going!

 

[Seosa]

I thought the OP had a girlfriend? That'd be more than enough to ween me off the cigs.

 

[perfanoff]

I thought the OP had a girlfriend? That'd be more than enough to ween me off the cigs.

I'd say that conversely, it'd be more crucial to quit if you're still single.

So day 2 is over. I've read that day 3 is the worst feeling. And after that, the lifelong battle of being an ex-smoker starts. Last time I managed for only 8 months before caving in. But that is 8 months I didn't obey my silly unconsciousness to poison myself

 

[perfanoff]

Still night 2.. I should be sleeping but I feel like punching something, anything. Flipped out and shouted at some relative today over nothing at all. Didn't feel a thing. Quitting is a *****