I need help, should I treat this as a "date"??

[Innerpeace]

I"m 23 and never been on a date lol. Anyways in the other thread I made I was texting this girl I met in my university class in December and I got her to text me back and she said she is free tomorrow to meet up with me.

in December the last 2 weeks of classes (she is graduated now) we began talking and I drove her back home and we studied together a bit. I haven't seen her since Dec 8 but she sent me a merry christmas text. I also texted her two weeks ago and I texted her again today and today she finally said she is available for tomorrow said she was busy till now. she said " hey we should really meet up soon i'm free tomorrow"

anyways that was a good sign. thing is I'm not sure if she is being friends with me or if she likes me more hard to tell.

so tomorrow when she calls me or when I call her i'm thinking of telling her to have lunch together at maybe a sushi place or whatever somewhere where we can sit down and talk. is this a good idea?

I'm confused though I don't know if this is a date or just having lunch with a "friend".

also should I offer to pay for her the lunch.

and should I ask her to lunch or dinner? i'm thinking lunch will be less intimidating.

and is my idea of a sushi restaurant a bad idea?

any other tips i'm kind of nervous as I have never had a girlfriend and I don't really have any friends either so I'm not sure what the proper thing to do is.

oh and also should I at least offer to pick her up? what if she says no thanks I can drive? she has a car. but I want to offer to come pick her up at her house.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I guess you can offer to pick her up. If she saids no and wanna drive,
don't trip or sweat it....becuase after lunch she can drive you
around
Once a girl lets me in her car, LoL
it's a sign of trust or she's more interested.

Don't let the ride become an issue...Actaully if you let her
drive you around or if she drives herself...She might feel more
safe or in control.

If she lets me in her car...eventaully she'll let me in
her appartment..eventaully she'll just let me in...

Yes, lunch is less inteminating.
Maybe also ask her to go do something else too on top of lunch,
such as miniture golf, arcades, bowling, the board walk, museum...etc.
After you have lunch..
Activities will be less intiminating becuase you don't have to
talk as much . Wheather it's a date or not...you're doing
something fun with her.

Reseach for other activites availiable in your area. Such as
small concerts, farmers market..etc
Stuff you can asked her to go do the next time . Of course
you can always resort to asking her to the movies.

Be in the moment...lower your expectations.
Have fun...go with the flow.

Have you had body contact with her ?
The activities give you opportutinies to have body contact with her...
Subtle body contacts..such as touching her arms or playing with her hands.
It's less intiminating.

Act stupid and let her show you how to hold a golf club, if you take her to miniture golf.
This way...you're getting her to touch you.

No matter what you do...at the end of the date or after you get
done hanging with her...HUG her.
She'll give you subtle hints... Body talk signs, if she wants a kiss or
whatever. If she flicks her hair, with a smile and a twinkle in her eyes.. kiss her dude.

Some girls are different...my ex-wf asked me to a go dancing with her
when she asked me out...We had crazy body contacts while
slow dancing..I made out with her right then and there on the dance
floor I didn't even owned a car when I met her. She took us everywhere in her car.

My ex-gf...we had a couple of dates or inneractions.
After a dinner date...we went for a stroll at a park..I just held her hands.
Eventaully I felt comfortiable enough then i just kissed her and made out with her.

I knew Jenni for a couple of years...I was in the friendzone..lol
Oneday she called me...took me to dinner, paid for dinner...
drove me home (in her car of course). She came inside
my apartment and we talked about god..lol

Girls like to make out.
What i'm trying to say is...you won't have to be so formal
in asking her if she's you're GF once you get to that piont.
If you're making out with her...she's already saying she's your GF.

 

[samba101]

Sounds like your worried, try to relax a bit. Okay just meet her there, no need to pay for her lunch she can do that herself, if your not sure about if she likes sushi just text her back and see if she likes it.

Just be yourself it's kind of your first outing out with her so it will be kind of a meet and greet, let's get to know each other thing.

I hope it goes well for you, wish I had more to say.

 

[EveWasFramed]

LOL, I told you not to count her out just yet, didn't I?
I'm happy that she has responded in a positive way. Try not to overwhelm her or expect too much too quickly. There are ways of letting a woman know that you are into her, without coming right out and telling her. Smile at her a lot and make eye contact often. Note I said often, not constantly. lmao, you don't want her to think that you are fixated on her.
Since this is the first "date" (kind of, lol)...
Lunch is a GREAT idea! There won't be the added pressure of "going out to dinner." Try to just relax and enjoy her company. OK, does she like sushi?? Better find out first. Ask her when she calls or when you call her. Have a couple more places in mind, if she doesnt care for sushi. And don't offer to pay for her lunch - PAY FOR IT! Now, if she offers to pay her half, insist that you will pay. You invited her out, right? If she INSISTS on helping with the check, ask her if she would care to leave the tip for the server. This way, you give her a way to feel like she has at least contributed. Then, if she STILL insists on paying, let her pay half of the check and you leave the tip.
Yes, offer to pick her up, but DONT insist if she declines.

Also, if there is a park or something near, ask her if she'd care to go for a walk after lunch, if her schedule is clear. This might give you an opportunity to talk to her more and maybe hint at another outing?

Good luck, dear, and I'm happy that she called you back.

 

[LonelyDragon]

Well, it looks like they covered everything I could think of. So I'll just add "Good Luck" too.

 

[Innerpeace]

okay looks like she is just making a fool of me? she texted me pretty quickly back yesterday saying "we should meet up soon" and then said i'll mssage you or phone you tomorrow. this morning I sent a reply back saying " yeah contact me today" it's 7 pm now and she still hasn't contacted me lol.

wtf? why would she keep on replying back to me and saying I'll let you knwo when i'm free and then yesterday say we definately should meet up and say she'll mssg or phone me and not? if she doesn't phone me back by tonight to set up a time to meet up then i'm just going to forget about her, she obviously must not really care cus she knows I want to meet up with her.

thoughts?

 

[EveWasFramed]

okay looks like she is just making a fool of me? she texted me pretty quickly back yesterday saying "we should meet up soon" and then said i'll mssage you or phone you tomorrow. this morning I sent a reply back saying " yeah contact me today" it's 7 pm now and she still hasn't contacted me lol.

wtf? why would she keep on replying back to me and saying I'll let you knwo when i'm free and then yesterday say we definately should meet up and say she'll mssg or phone me and not? if she doesn't phone me back by tonight to set up a time to meet up then i'm just going to forget about her, she obviously must not really care cus she knows I want to meet up with her.

thoughts?

She sounds a bit flighty at this point. However, if she didn't want to have anything to do with you at all, she would be ignoring you, not texting you, in my opinion. ANd instead of texting her, CALL her! You can tell more about a person when you actually TALK to them. You should be able to judge her a little better if you can hear her voice, I would think. Give it a couple more times, and if she doesn't meet with you, then don't call or text her anymore. If she calls you, then fine. But, if she does, and wants to meet, make her set a specific time and place to see you. If she doesn't, then maybe you should point out that she appears to be blowing you off every time. That will either make her feel guilty that she has treated you in this manner, or it will piss her off. If she feels like she's done you wrong, she will apologize. If you piss her off, you won't hear from her again. Either way, problem solved, yes? You seem like a nice person. Never be a doormat.
I hope things work out for you.

 

[Innerpeace]

well she says one thing and then acts contraditory so it's kind of annoying me.

her text response was " we should meet up for sure soon" and she said she'll phone me tomorrow but she never did phone me yesterday and if she doesn't phone me today then I think she's trying to send a message???

I don't want to keep on texting and phoning her everyday and seem like i'm obsessed with her or something. I just wish people wouldn't screw with you like this. She does seem shy but I don't think that is the problem, I know from before she pefered to text me than phone that's why I text her now.

I phoned her 2 weeks ago after christmas and the first time she didn't pick up and I phoned back 4 hours later and she picked up and she said she should meet up to chat sometime and that's why I've since tried to get her to meet up.

I think I should just leave it and not try anymore she already knows I want to meet up. I've asked her twice now if she doesn't get back to me like she said she'd phone me then wtf is the point of keeping on texting or phoning her.

I don't feel like convincing someone to meet up with me if the don't really care to do so. she sends positive texts back to me but it's been 2 weeks since I asked her to meet up and she said she'll let me know when she's free and then said we should meet up for shure soon.

 

[Innerpeace]

oh forgot I texted her yesterday back saying, give me a shout today . and she hasn't replied yet and didn't phone lol.

i seriously don't understand girls or people.

this other girl at my work showed lots of signs that she liked me and kept on coming around me and smiling at me etc then one day I asked her to come to lunch with me (during lunch break at work) and she was like " do i have to ?"

and I said um no you don't have to thought you'd want to and she was like then I don't feel like it.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Well then, if she isn't interested enough to make more of an effort, even if she does like you, it's likely a good idea to focus on meeting otther people.
So sorry that things didnt work out for you.

 

[LonelyDragon]

I have to agree. I wouldn't keep stressing over her since she obviously isn't putting as much into it as you are. I mean, maybe she's just forgetful. But you'd think after so many "reminders" she'd go through with something if that were the case.

 

[Innerpeace]

I have to agree. I wouldn't keep stressing over her since she obviously isn't putting as much into it as you are. I mean, maybe she's just forgetful. But you'd think after so many "reminders" she'd go through with something if that were the case.

this is getting even more confusing. I sent her one more text again yesterday saying how bout we meet up this weekend, didn't ask her why she didn't get back to me yet.

she sent me a text back taht night saying, that she'll let me know by today lol, now lets see if she actually does..... hasn't yet. all her texts seems positive though doesn't sound like she's pissed off. and I don't get why she'd respond nicely to my texts but keep on saying that she'll get back to me tomorrow about meeting up....

 

[ExtensivexLDL]

I have to agree. I wouldn't keep stressing over her since she obviously isn't putting as much into it as you are. I mean, maybe she's just forgetful. But you'd think after so many "reminders" she'd go through with something if that were the case.

this is getting even more confusing. I sent her one more text again yesterday saying how bout we meet up this weekend, didn't ask her why she didn't get back to me yet.

she sent me a text back taht night saying, that she'll let me know by today lol, now lets see if she actually does..... hasn't yet. all her texts seems positive though doesn't sound like she's pissed off. and I don't get why she'd respond nicely to my texts but keep on saying that she'll get back to me tomorrow about meeting up....

My opinion? It's confusing because TEXTING is confusing.. My advice - stop doing it. If you need to- call her. Talk to her in person. Say that you'll get back to her by then and then if necessary. If she sends another text, text her saying you'll give her a call by then and then. Make plans and keep in touch with her on msn- this is what I'd do. Texting is too random and impersonal for my liking at least- I never do it. I'd rather just make a single phone call than to keep sending out a bunch of texts and be unable to relax in anticipating receiving the next one.
Just my two cents.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

errr....my ex-gf is still doing the same honeysuckle.
She told me , she try to make things right.
She even pomised as she always had...

I told her straight up...don't promise anything to me again, ever.
I havn't thought about her nor stressed over it.
I lived with her for over 12 years...i had a lot of emotional attachments for her.
I belive her or anything that comes out of her mouth about as far as i can throw her...lol
Her actions speaks louder than words....

You know how some love songs or broken heart song gose....
"there signs I should had recognized...that this honeysuckle wasn't going to work."

Getting stood up sucks...putting you're life on hold for someone to get their honeysuckle together sucks too.

Life stops for no one and I'm not getting any younger to be playing games with people.
All i know is..there's plenty of single avaliable women out there that
would have me.
The more I forget about my ex. The more I notice other women.

The question i had to ask myself was...why in the hell was I attracted
to women that's not avalible to me...mentally and emotionally.

Living and being around my ex..left me confused and mentally & emotionally sick.
It was a sick, toxic , drammatic , mellow drammatic relationship.

I've gone out with healty women before...They'll show up and do what they say they're
going to do. Straight up... they know what they want and are not wishy washies.

 

[Innerpeace]

okay yesterday she said she'd let me know today and she did not get back to me again!

I'm kind of pissed now. she seems nice in her texts and says she wants to meet up soon etc and says she'll let me know tom or whatever and then never gets back to me......

okay now i'm definately not texting her again.

now I don't get this. I should her texts to a buddy of mine (not really a friend I don't have any friends) and he wa like her texts seem genuine and it sounds like she does want to meet up and will get back to you but it all seems like bullshit.

maybe she wants to send me a message by saying she will get back to me and not ??? seems retarded but anyways.

this isn't so bad it wasn't like I had a huge crush on this girl anyways lol, i'd even be happy if she just wanted to be friends but she doesn't seem to care so whatever.

I really liked this other girl at my work and she seemed to like me too but then one day couple weeks ago I asked her out to lunch at work and she didn't really want to come.... and now I don't even see her at work anymore (we don't work on the same days.....) and I felt really bad abou that.

I should be used to being disappointed by girls by now......

 

[Lonesome Crow]

yeah...girls suck sometimes.

 

[snow]

Tell her she has to call you because your phone plan is running out of free text messages.

 

[Innerpeace]

well she sent me another text lol saying I apologize for not getting back to you but i've been really busy and I still want to meet with you blah blah blah.

I sent her another text saying how bout this weekend she didn't say anything yet.

I'm going to try and phone her soon...... this is confusing I don't know if she actually wants to meet with me or if she's just bulsshiting it's been like 3 weeks.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Seriously she better have big titties or something..

I mean..my ex has big titties...and i been in and out of her
so many times. She fuckerd my brains out and then some.
I had a hard habit to break. i lived with her for over a decade...

Her making promises she can't keep as always a couple of
weeks ago...Was like the needle the broke the camels's back.
I felt sad becuase I did Loved her...even since that night
I hanv't thought much about her.

It just reminds me of all the fucken empty promises through
out the years that she made to me and never came kept them.

My anger is from...that I wasted my fucken life waiting for
them to get thier honeysuckle together. I can't have those 10 years back.
It's fucken gone...

it was so fucken hard for me to break away becuase I felt I've
invested my all my time, energy on her to just let her go like that.
i couldn't cut my losts.
I wish this fucken the pain i had to go through upon no one.
Life is too fucken short for bullshit like that.

BTW, I suffered from a sort of PTSD by living her and having to deal with all of her BS through out the years.
Definitety...i wasn't thinking right and confused half of the god **** time...My freaken emotions got dragged
through the fucken mud a couple of hundreds times.

 

[EveWasFramed]

STOP texting her! CALL her!