I need some serious help

[SaveMe]

Ivy F April 30 at 4:23pm Report
It's your call.

Cody Poulton April 30 at 4:25pm
ivy i want to know what you want

Cody Poulton April 30 at 4:30pm
just tell me exactly what you want ivy, i just want to know, it wont like affect my decision or anything just, tell me what you want to happen between us

Ivy F April 30 at 4:43pm Report
I want you to chooose

Cody Poulton April 30 at 4:43pm
i will, but first i want to know what your feelings are about it, im not just going to decide without knowing your take on it,

Ivy F April 30 at 4:46pm Report
I told you I want you to choose. It dosnt matter what I want.

Cody Poulton April 30 at 4:47pm
ivy, what you want does matter to me so please just make it easier for both of us and tell me, i dont want to be with you if you dont want to be with me, because it wouldnt make sense. i need to know ivy

Ivy F April 30 at 4:48pm Report
I want you.

Cody Poulton April 30 at 4:50pm
why did you pretend like you didnt care then? why did you want us to be done, please tell me why you did the things you did

Cody Poulton April 30 at 4:51pm
why didnt you jump at the second chance i gave you? instead you want it now? whats going on? im just confused, help me understand

Ivy F April 30 at 4:52pm Report
Seemed like you wanted to be. Itd be easy to tell you that , take 3 days, and move on. I couldn't move on though.

Cody Poulton April 30 at 4:53pm
but i thought you id? you said you were happier without me, you and jesse both said that. he said your life was better and you just told me he was better than i was

Cody Poulton April 30 at 4:53pm
did*

Ivy F April 30 at 4:57pm Report
I did that because you told me that about that agnes -_-

Cody Poulton April 30 at 4:59pm
but we were just friends, i dont even like her that way.. i was just trying to make you want me more, but it backfired

Ivy F April 30 at 5:02pm Report
Yep yep, now I just have shitty self esteem. And sorry its taking me awhile to reply. You'd be mad if I told you what I is doing.

Cody Poulton April 30 at 5:03pm
but, why did all that happen? and i promise i wont get mad, i only did when you told me about kissing the boys, so you can tell me ivy,

Ivy F April 30 at 5:04pm Report
Because of everything you told me. And I'm at a party falling asleep on the stairs.

Cody Poulton April 30 at 5:05pm
oh, so but im still unsure, you like it better without me but you want me back? i dont understand

Ivy F April 30 at 5:08pm Report
I like some things more. But I'm happier with you

Cody Poulton April 30 at 5:10pm
you probably did lots of things while you were free of mee that made you happier, drugs sex parties alcohol smoking, cutting making out with random guys. all i do is wreck your life you liked it better before i came along and ruined it

Ivy F April 30 at 5:16pm Report
No sex just sayin

Ivy F April 30 at 5:16pm Report
Or making out

Cody Poulton April 30 at 5:18pm
either way you admitted it was better without me, why would i ruin that if i truly cared about you?

Ivy F April 30 at 5:18pm Report
Idk

Cody Poulton April 30 at 5:20pm
i dont want to ruin your life ivy, i just want you to be happy, if you're happy without me then so be it ill just move on. or attempt to

Ivy F April 30 at 5:20pm Report
Ok...

Cody Poulton April 30 at 5:21pm
you're happier without me right? i think thats what you said

Cody Poulton April 30 at 5:33pm
This is my choice ok? My choice is whatever makes you happier, that's what I pick
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Cody Poulton April 30 at 5:47pm
Stay safe, go home and sleep
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Cody Poulton April 30 at 6:05pm
Just be safe I still love you
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Cody Poulton April 30 at 6:07pm
Ok I gotta admit I'm worried
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Cody Poulton April 30 at 6:21pm
What if I want you and the only reason I'm hesitating is because I think you like life better without me and because I think you can't stay mine?
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Cody Poulton April 30 at 6:26pm
Cause I miss it all, I really do, even the bad parts. Even the arguing. I miss it. I want it all back but... Idk if you're able to put up with me
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Cody Poulton April 30 at 6:31pm
So if I have to pick one way or the other I'd pick you. I just don't know if your heart will still be mine, or if your heart is even in it
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Ivy F April 30 at 8:05pm Report
Whoa. I passed out

Cody Poulton April 30 at 8:07pm
i sent messages ^

Ivy F April 30 at 8:07pm Report
I know I know I just gotta get myself together.

Cody Poulton April 30 at 8:15pm
are you together yet?

Ivy F April 30 at 10:14pm Report
I'm back and I'm home I'm with hope and catkin and Amanda were just having a couple drinks

Cody Poulton April 30 at 10:15pm
oh, well anyways. idk i talked to people, and they all agree, i need to let you go

Ivy F April 30 at 10:17pm Report
So were done?

Cody Poulton April 30 at 10:17pm
so i think thats whats happening, idk you seem happier doing your own thing, you say you're depressed but i know you'd rather have your drinking and drugs and smoking, over me

Ivy F April 30 at 10:19pm Report
Nope. We were at a party earlier and now were at another one but we sorta missed it and everybody left , se were just at home alone. But I don't see why I can't gave both. But if I can only have one than it's you. Were going soon though to the next party and there's no Internet there.

Cody Poulton April 30 at 10:22pm
no im not going to make you choose, i know youd rather just do your own thing, all i am is a weight that you dont need. you never needed me, and you're always perfectly fine when you're without me. i had a feeling i was being played the whole time. when you left and instantly left for jesse it kind of opened my eyes to just how unimportant i am to you. I know you love alcohol drugs and trouble more than me. i guess messing up your life for you is fun, and you'd rather have that then someone who was actually trying to help you make your own life better. and so i wont stop you anymore. you can be on your own. do whatever you please. i wont get in the way of where your life is headed this way.

Ivy F April 30 at 10:23pm Report
Alright then.

Cody Poulton April 30 at 10:24pm
and you agree with me

Ivy F April 30 at 10:24pm Report
Na

Cody Poulton April 30 at 10:27pm
yes because you already made your choice. thats why we're done

Ivy F April 30 at 10:30pm Report
If it was my choice we'd try again. You let these people you talk to choose -__-

Cody Poulton April 30 at 10:32pm
no ivy, i let your actions choose. i let the things you do and say choose. you lied, almost this whole time. never once did you love me. you probably just thought i was some drug lord or something so you tried to use me. until you figured out i was trying to make your life better for you. for you ivy, i was never doing it for me.

Ivy F April 30 at 10:33pm Report
Where do you get this honeysuckle??

Cody Poulton April 30 at 10:35pm
from you. i understand you want attention. you make your life bad so that people will feel sorry for you and some poor suckjer like me comes along. yeah its bad, but its nothing near what you make it out to be. you wonder why people think you're a cunt, you're dumb, you're a whore. its because of your actions. and they all clearly see those things. i clearly see im not needed or wanted. you pick friends over me every time. thats like the definition of how to break up with a guy. i should have seen earlier

Ivy F April 30 at 10:38pm Report
K , well I gotta go help my friend. You don't care about me so I'm not gonna deal with you if Amandas in trouble.

Cody Poulton April 30 at 10:39pm
i care. you just dont want me. i see that now. dont try and put this on my head ivy. you did this

Cody Poulton April 30 at 10:40pm
you want your drugs partying alcohol trouble life instead of trying to make it better. so thats what im giving you. what you want.

Ivy F April 30 at 10:43pm Report
Oh fresia you Cody. You and your assumptions. That's not what I want. Stop ******* ignoring what I say. Get that honeysuckle outta your head. I want you, fuckhead.

Cody Poulton April 30 at 10:43pm
you're satisfied with making it worse and worse. hell you like it. so thats what im letting you do. you're happy ******* up your life early. so go ahead. but im not going to let you drag me down with you. and if life isnt worth it without me. which i know is a lie from you. then you'll just have to kill yourself i suppose. although we both know you wont actually do it unless you want more attention

Cody Poulton April 30 at 10:44pm
and im not a fuckhead. i stopped smoking weed, i stopped cutting, i stopped cocaine, i passed grade ******* nine. so dont call me a fuckhead

Cody Poulton April 30 at 10:44pm
also im not a underaged alcoholic. you make the native kids parents jealous

Ivy F April 30 at 10:46pm Report
Well I still want you , fresia what are we doing??! I wanna try again.

Cody Poulton April 30 at 10:47pm
ivy. you already made the choice.

Ivy F April 30 at 10:48pm Report
So were trying again? fresia yeah

Cody Poulton April 30 at 10:49pm
no, ivy. you already chose

Ivy F April 30 at 10:49pm Report
If I chose were trying again

Cody Poulton April 30 at 10:50pm
no not you choose, you chose* as in the choice has already been made. you chose to not be with me

Ivy F April 30 at 10:51pm Report
Well if that's what happening I didn't chose honeysuckle.

Cody Poulton April 30 at 10:52pm
yes you did ivy.

Ivy F April 30 at 10:52pm Report
fresia you're dense. YOU made the choice not to try again.

Cody Poulton April 30 at 10:53pm
no, ivy i havent chosen anything. i unblocked you so you could decide. i havent decided anything. i i did then you would be reblocked by now. but i waited. to find out i have to block you anyways. im not being with you ivy. you're happier without me. i see that now

Ivy F April 30 at 10:54pm Report
Well I decide to be with you

Cody Poulton April 30 at 10:56pm
ivy you already picked! how many times do i need to tell you! you spent two weeks without me and they were happier than the useless eight months i wasted your time with. im not being with you when you're happier without me! you never listen to me anyways

Cody Poulton April 30 at 11:00pm
^

Ivy F April 30 at 11:01pm Report
You suck. -_- I want to be with you. But you won't be with me.

Cody Poulton April 30 at 11:01pm
the reason is right up there ^

Cody Poulton April 30 at 11:02pm
and you cant even take this seriously. maybe once im gone for a while you'll realize what happened

Ivy F April 30 at 11:04pm Report
Yay! Ann came over and she has weed and smokes ^_^ , bai bai!!

Cody Poulton April 30 at 11:05pm
you realize this is final dont you?

Cody Poulton April 30 at 11:05pm
see? you wouldnt be so happy if you really wanted me or cared or wanted another chance or anything. you're a liar ivy.

Ivy F April 30 at 11:05pm Report
Idc , I can get messed up

Cody Poulton April 30 at 11:05pm
^^

Cody Poulton April 30 at 11:06pm
exactly! thats what im saying! you're happier getting messed up, instead of just letting me help you. you're happier this way, without me. thats how you picked. by showing me you're truly happier without me



am i being unreasonable in any way? like i need some advice. i cant seem to like officially dump her, i just cant i dont have the heart. anyone that can help? im cody btw

 

[lone_drow]

*hugs* Sorry to hear that this is causing a lot of pain. I'm not sure what advice I can give you as I'm just an outsider here.

You seem to be thorn between staying with Ivy or leaving her.
You are worried that doing so will hurt her. However, I noticed especially towards the end of your conversation, you seem to have made up your mind that she was happier by herself. So the question is, what is really holding you back? Perhaps you can give it some thought.

All I can say is take care of yourself first. Kudos to you for quitting weed and cocaine btw. You are determined to make your life better so continue working on yourself.

 

[SaveMe]

thank you, and ive tried to think of whats holding me back and i think the only reason is that i still love her...

 

[alonewanderer]

I read through that transcript, you're not telling us the backstory to why she got blocked in the first place, I'm left to assume it's over another guy and some sort of 3 day break. When she said she was blacking out on some stairs you had a choice to assume hero mode and pick her up or leave it at that. You reap what you sow type of deal, but you kept going for what? closure? no, it seemed like you wanted to be malignant and use that as an excuse for mean comments.

Like I said, I started my statement only knowing half the story but honestly from my OG viewpoint, she seemed to be toying with you and vice versa, if you wanted you could've said " I'll be there to pick you up", when she said I'm falling asleep on some stairs at a party.

I've been there and done that, not saying I'm like her but I would've loved to have been rescued from torment and pain. Once again, I don't know the details on how long you've known her or dated her, even the history behind this chat, all I can do is come up with conflicting actions and emotions.

If you'd like to go further indepth throw in zodiac signs and if it's a cusp or close to one so I can give you some indepth perspective if that's what you'd like. From what I've read if that were me from her perspective, she respected you enough to admit a name, realized it was a mistake and wanted to try again, not many can do that. From your perspective with mine mingled in, I would've never taken her off of block.

---

Age: 18, you may not think much of it but I'll give you a few years advice, nothing at this age matters, if you really truly thought this person was the one, none of this would phase you at all. I'm going to throw out assumptions that you are a water sign as for zodiac, possibly earth.

All in all, don't burn bridges, you never know what you both can learn in a few years, especially about compatibilty.

tl;dr: automatic response just incase I fall asleep or vice versa

 

[kamya]

You are both acting pretty messed up here.

I'm sorry you feel like you are going through something terrible but just try to think of it as an experience. You'll move on and look back and this and laugh at how seriously you are letting this affect you.

BTW, this isn't the kind of honeysuckle you do through text. What happened to phone calls and face to face chats? Well, actually I guess you are lucky she's still txting you. It has been my experience that people just suddenly ignore me when they want to break up.

 

[SaveMe]

I would do it in person but, I just don't have the heart. And for the zodiac I'm Leo, and I think that means fire? Idk. alonewanderer thank you for your input, we took a two week break, and within 2 days she was with someone else, which lead me to believe she was cheating. I don't put up with cheating at all, so even if she is the one and even if I love her I'm going to let her go. It isn't the first time I took her back either. It's happened many times. I try to leave, she pretends not to care, I'm gone for a few days, then she tries to contact me and I give in. I don't know why. I was trying my hardest NOT to lash out at her, but if I came across as mean, well that's nobody's fault but mine.

I'll give you a background. We met a while back - last august. We hit it off good and were going out like the day after we met. I found out that she had lots of mental issues, as well as problems in life. She had tried suicide 4 times in the past. So I decided that I'd just stick with her instead of just leaving because of that. So I started helping and offering advice, and we became really close very quick. She was into drugs and alcohol, an alcoholic to be honest. She would never admit it though. As we were talking and as time passed we got closer and closer. Eventually, I brought her out of depression and made her actually happy. I wanted to help her with her substance problems as well. But she wouldn't quit, although she made me dump all my friends, stop cutting, and stop cocaine. I did all those and she still promised she was working on her issues, over and over again. I started getting fed up with the lies, I was trying to help, after all. I wanted to make her life way better, but she wouldn't stop abusing herself, which made me frustrated and angry. She made the wrong decisions over and over, always promising shed change. Until I finally decided I didn't want to be with someone who I had to sit back and watch destroy themselves. So I tried to break up with her multiple times, but always ended up taking her back. Then one day seemingly out of nowhere she told me we were breaking up. So I agreed and everything, wanting this for a while. A few days after she messages me about this other guy and he's sending me messages too. So I of course figured out why she wanted to break up. I asked if she was with him and she said yes. Now about two weeks after that. That above conversation took place ^ she wants me back. I kinda want her back but she's just going to destroy herself in front of my eyes. So thats why I need some help and advice

 

[alonewanderer]

Ugh, that chick is trouble, I'll just say this once. Never try to get in a relationship with someone who you think you can change or "save". Do not try to be the white knight, it's always a huge waste of time and unnecessary drama, better to cut off all communications with her. Especially since she's manipulating some ****** to send you messages too, that's pretty low for both of them.

tl;dr : do not get this girl pregnant or have sex with her, she sounds like the type I got pregnant at your age, she stopped taking her birth control, wrapped legs around me in vice grip, told me she was on b.c. still and it just felt warm and good that way.



Avoid like the plague

 

[SaveMe]

That sounds like sound advice. And idk I do always try to be the hero :/. I just want to feel needed. Thanks alonewanderer

 

[alonewanderer]

Instead of trying to build a personal relationship that requires you to feel needed, aim for a rewarding career. It's hard at that age to see further down the line but I assure you, you deserve and will attain much better than 1 volatile relationship. A prestigious career is supremely satisfying, day in day out, even the bad days are worth it.


There are billions of women on this rock, nothing is impossible, you will find a good one that will view you as their "hero" just for being yourself.


As for being a Leo, the need for physical affection is strong, a scratch under the chin and having your hair stroked and you are putty in the right woman's hands. Conviction will be needed but stay strong and never backpedal in relationships.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Ugh, that chick is trouble, I'll just say this once. Never try to get in a relationship with someone who you think you can change or "save". Do not try to be the white knight, it's always a huge waste of time

AGREED.

---

you will find a good one that will view you as their "hero" just for being yourself.

*Smiles*

 

[SkuzzieMuff]

It looks to me like you weren't good for each other. And if I may suggest, it's probably best to save serious talks for a time when both people are sober, because she didn't seem to be in her right mind AT ALL.
It also looked like she was lying all over the place. We're here, we're there, passing out on stairs and now drinking more, now we're going somewhere without internet, blah blah LIES. She seems like she's full of honeysuckle.

Like wanderer said, don't try to "fix" anyone. It's one thing to try to grow and help better each other together, but to try to fix someone is wrong. In most cases, people don't want to be fixed, they just want attention, like you said in your conversation. But they way you kept egging her on to get the answer you wanted looks like you just wanted attention too. You obviously aren't good for each other. Let her fresia up her own life, and you stay clean. Good luck.

 

[FakeBl0cks]

I've got this kind of experience...
I'll tell you my story and you can judge it for yourself

I break up with my ex after we dated for 8 months
problem is i felt that she never cared for me
she was too busy, etc
she didn't changed a bit for me
i endure it from the 4th month when we're still dating
When the 7th month came in, i just sort of do the things you done
i somehow decide that she will be more happy than me
eventually that crack our relationship
and i sort off lose temper and break up with her

The following weeks after we broke up
she constantly asked me to go out
and such
even though she have such a busy schedule before
but me still bullheaded deny her offer everytimes and
at one point she stop and stop talking to me altogether
Part of me does regret breaking up with her
but i've move on
still there is time when i would be reminded of her or miss her
but i somehow feel that i'm free and i'll flow along wherever life takes me
Now i just concentrate on finding my path in life

Just remember: almost everything can be counted as an experience
And if you decide to let go then dont burn the memory along with everything
instead learn from it well

May you find your happiness, Cheers!!!