I really need someone to make it all clear

[Onlyme89]

My first post,

Posting something like this is really weird for me, normally I fix my problems myself and sort of let nature take its course. But I need help and I need the help of complete strangers.

In my home town I have no close friends and I don't hangout with people here mainly because in high school in order to be popular or make true friends you needed to either drink almost every night, try every type of drug or sleep around. In I couldn't stand that, I couldn't stand that I had to follow people to the edge of a cliff just to be their friend, I have never followed people I always did what I believed was right and I still do that today. I was never looked at as a loser and I was never bullied, I had people that I talked with in class and people I talked with at lunch and people I talked with in the library while doing homework and people I talked to at my part time job. I have never had any true friends or close friends all throughout high school because no one really wanted me around if I wasn't going to do drugs or alcohol, but they didn't ignore me or anything at school. So I spent the 4 years in highschool not having a social life.

The first time and I went to college is for what I love to do and that is animation, I met so many great people and made so many great friends and I still talk to some of them today, but the problem is they don't live in the same city as me and two of them aren't even on this continent any more. I left that school because the facilities were terrible and the teachers didn't care.

The second time I went to school was for a 1 year program in fine arts where I met yet another group of people that have the same interests and we all got along great, but yet again none of them leave in my city.

The school that I am at right now is incredible, I have made friends with all three years and all the faculty, but again none of them live in my city they all live in the city that the school is in so it is sometimes difficult to go there especially now that it is winter. I have no problems making friends none what so ever, I am actually surprised at how many friends I have at this school. I just find it odd that I don't have any close friends in my own city, at my part time job i know everyone and everyone knows me we sit on our break and we all just joke around, but I have never hung out with them outside of work. Also I did start to drink alcohol, but I could care less about the stuff, so **** expensive to make that a habit.

So here is my whole dilemma,the college I am in right now, I recently met in my eyes the most beautiful and incredible girl on earth and I know 1000% that she likes me and we have so much in common and we talk for hours every night, we have some dates planned out where I will be spending the day with her in her city and then we will be spending the day in my city, but we are only spending the day together. I am afraid though that if she finds out about me not having any close friends in my city that she might not give me a chance. I am certain that she is not that type of person, but I really care about her and I want the opportunity to try and make this girl happy.

So my question is what do you guys think I should do? Should I be honest with her or just try not to bring it up, do you think my entire situation is completely bizarre? I have looked through this forum trying to find someone similar to me but there is nothing, most people just don't have any friends or are having difficulties making friends, I think I fit into my own category

Some one else's perspective on this would be truly grateful
Thank you

 

[EveWasFramed]

I have seen similar concerns voiced here before. Some feel that people (potential significant others) will look down on you because you have no close friends nearby. I can only speak for myself and say that it wouldn't be an issue for me personally.

 

[consmap]

I say don't bring it up, but don't hide it either. If she finds out about your social situation let her decide whether it's a bad thing or not.
I can relate to what you went through in high school too, with being able to talk to people and socialize but not really fit in with the group.
Anyway, I think you should go for her and see if it works out.

 

[lostatsea]

First of all, congrats on finding someone you really like who likes you back. Second don't worry about it. Let things play out naturally without making it a big deal. As long as she likes you everything else will be minor. I mean some people actually like it when people aren't super social. I'm actually in that group? Why? Because that leaves more time for me!

 

[grandstand21]

Congratulations on the dates. When you are spending time with her I am sure it will be a good opportunity for her to get to know you and the place you grew up in. The reasons you gave for not having friends in your town don't sound particularly odd to me. I see no reason to create drama over this issue, whether it be with a revealing confession or outright avoidance of the topic. If and when it comes up naturally in your time together, talk about it and be honest.

 

[Onlyme89]

An Update

I have told her about my life and she told me about hers, she has had a tough time especially with guys, people in her past have seemed to use her as a rebound and she was mentally affected by this one guy. She promised herself she wouldnt date for a long while and even had a specific date when she would try again, but she cut it short for me, she doesn't want to lose me and apparently I do stuff to her that she has never felt before (non sexual), just what I express to her. I asked her for a chance to prove that I can make her happy and she asked for me to accept her.

Thank you everyone for helping me out on this, I have spent too much time being afraid and now I feel like a weight has been lifted and I can move forward in my life.

 

[Case]

This is fantastic. It sounds like you have the start of something quite wonderful happening. Very best of luck to you both.

 

[Drama]

So here is my whole dilemma,the college I am in right now, I recently met in my eyes the most beautiful and incredible girl on earth and I know 1000% that she likes me and we have so much in common and we talk for hours every night, we have some dates planned out where I will be spending the day with her in her city and then we will be spending the day in my city, but we are only spending the day together. I am afraid though that if she finds out about me not having any close friends in my city that she might not give me a chance. I am certain that she is not that type of person, but I really care about her and I want the opportunity to try and make this girl happy.

if she comes to your city, I think that her objective would be to spend time with you and not to see who you spend time with normally. I do not think that you should worry about that.

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An Update

I have told her about my life and she told me about hers, she has had a tough time especially with guys, people in her past have seemed to use her as a rebound and she was mentally affected by this one guy. She promised herself she wouldnt date for a long while and even had a specific date when she would try again, but she cut it short for me, she doesn't want to lose me and apparently I do stuff to her that she has never felt before (non sexual), just what I express to her. I asked her for a chance to prove that I can make her happy and she asked for me to accept her.

Thank you everyone for helping me out on this, I have spent too much time being afraid and now I feel like a weight has been lifted and I can move forward in my life.

nice all the best for you both

 

[Onlyme89]

This is fantastic. It sounds like you have the start of something quite wonderful happening. Very best of luck to you both.

Thank you and I hope so