onedayatatime1969
Member
I understand how people who want to die feel. I have no one i can really talk to on a regular basis. I am a 40 year old who is divorced and never had kids. I am broke and am in college. My parents don't like me because they think i am bad to them. There is so much bad blood between us because of the mental and physical abuse as well as the neglect.I have lost the will anymore to try with them. I am not sure why i am on earth. My teeth are rotting out and i drive an old beat up car. I am not young anymore and people don't seem to want to be my friend outside of class or the gym. I stay alive thinking i should but i feel that the suffering and the lonliness i have endured for about 9 years now since my divorce should have been gone by now. No matter what i do nothing gets better. I had a pain in my chest one early morning that was severe and woke me out of a deep sleep. I hoped and still do that it is something that will kill me. I would appreciate it if God would either let me know he is there and wants me here on earth or would bring me home so i would stop suffering. At this point i feel i have learned all i can learn from this situation.