If a girl doesn't answer or return your phone call after a date

[Jack Kerouac]

Would you say anything to her about it?

I met a girl a few weeks ago and went on a date with her last week, and it turned out we had a ton of things in common, we had no problems talking to eachother and she seemed to be giving me many positive signals, she seemed like a really nice girl, we made out when I dropped her off at her place, and I thought we totally hit it off! I told her I would definitely call her again and that I had a really good time with her. Usually I don't express much interest in girls when I take them out to try not to seem needy, but I have been getting tired of playing games and felt comfortable with this girl enough to just say what I was feeling. Is it so wrong to tell somebody you like them?

Then 2 days later I called her and she didn't answer... I tried again the next day and told her I'd be in her area later that night and we should meet up if she was around, and this time she texted me back saying she was at a thing with friends and if she was going to go out to the bars later she'd call me.

That made me think she wasn't interested, but I still wanted to give it another shot because I did like her a bit. Anways, I waited 4 more days and called her and told her of some plans I had that night around her part of the city if she wanted to come with, and said otherwise I knew of some stuff going on this weeked so she should call me back.

But that was yesterday and still nothing.

Now I'm starting to get a little pissed off. I'm not just sad anymore. I do feel pretty bad that she apparently doesn't want to go out with me again since our date seemed really good, and I've been out with 6 girls I met at bars this year, and I have been on dates with girls I had nothing in common with so I know what that's like, but this girl and I shared a TON of things in common and I thought we had fun... If a girl who I get along with great doesn't want to go out with me, how the hell am I ever going to get another relationship going??? This one is kind of making me lose all hope because I've put so much effort into getting a girlfriend this year and nothing has panned out even with girls who I apparently have a lot in common with... All I've been getting is occasional dates with girls who won't give me back proper communication or say what they really mean. The only girl I had a relationship with was one that picked me up, and she was way too into partying and flirting with other guys for me to put up with her...

But should I put up with a girl brushing me off? I'm thinking that not answering a phone or calling back to at least tell me she is not interested is extremely ignorant, and kind of want to say something about it. I was thinking of texting her to let her know that it was shitty of her to not answer and let me know what she was thinking, and that in the future she shouldn't pull that kind of crap on other people.

It's almost as if just letting this go and not saying anything would be wrong, as I've had to sit around with a bad feeling in my stomach for almost a week wondering if I had any chance at all with her. I HATE it when people just stop talking to you, especially when they act like they're all into you. It's just sooooo unfair and uncool that I think she needs to hear about it. Now this would be different if we never went on a date- I've gotten plenty of numbers from girls who would not answer their phones or go out with me after I called them, and while that hurts a bit, I can't hold it against somebody I only met once while drunk if they decide to avoid the situation. But I feel that a girl who I actually picked up sober and took out for the night owes me some kind of responce.

What do you guys think? Would you say anything to a girl that hurt your feelings by ignoring you to let her know that kind of behavior is totally unacceptable?

Sometimes I get so fed up with this dating crap that I feel like I'm going to go nuts. It's just impossible to meet girls who will be honest with you

I just think that I need to start telling some of these girls off when they resort to what I consider mean and antisocial tactics for ending something. Why should I just go on my way and act as if nothing bad happened to me?

What is everyone else's opinion on this?

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Take a deep breathe....

Think of it like this...
If you can't handle this now...how in the hell are you going to be able to handle her when she's on the rag?....lmao

You..." honey I want some cookie "
Her.."fresia you...don't fucken touch me..don't look at me...I'm bleeding like a ***** and I don't want a dick inside of me"
Okay..a little bit overboard...but it's true..

How about oneday you purchase her a brand new car and she fucken total it or put a fender bender on it ...lmao

How oneday she said.."ah mmm...Look dude I've asked you fucken a million times to leave the seat down"
"btw...you ain't all that"

Okay...how about if she wants fucken pink comforters and she wants to paint the god **** bed room fucken pink...lmao

 

[Jack Kerouac]

Take a deep breathe....

LMAO. No kidding. I don't plan on acting on this impulse right now or anything, but I figured I'd wait till after the weekend to say something.

 

[illi]

What do you guys think? Would you say anything to a girl that hurt your feelings by ignoring you to let her know that kind of behavior is totally unacceptable?

No. I've had my feelings hurt so many times - actually, every time I've ever tried to make friends with anyone, they've betrayed me and hurt my feelings - by both guys and girls and never told any of them how I felt.

 

[Jack Kerouac]

Think of it like this...
If you can't handle this now...how in the hell are you going to be able to handle her when she's on the rag?....lmao

Right. But the difference is this- she didn't answer or return my calls so apparently she is just trying to get rid of me without having to say anything.

Trust me, I know girls on their rag and can deal with that

When a person acts like they like you and then all of a sudden won't give you the time of day, that's a whole different ballpark. It's not just a girl being temporarily crazy.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Rejection sucks...

Never the less..don't try to over analyze it.
Well better she dose that now then for you to fine out decades later that she'll just give you a cold shoulder.
(been there and done that.lol)

Yeah..the being single or dating game gets retarded sometimes..
Have you been stood up yet ??? (that's fun )

Don't give up...date more women. Try not to judge all women from you past experince with women.
All women are not the same. They're all crazy in their own different ways...lmao

Have a women told you that your too good for her yet ?lmao
How about the infamouse...I love you or like you...BUT...BUT...BUT...fcken BUT...lol
"You're such a nice guy i don't want to hurt you or mess up our friendship or what we have"...lmao

 

[Jack Kerouac]

Rejection sucks...

Never the less..don't try to over analyze it.
Well better she dose that now then for you to fine out decades later that she'll just give you a cold shoulder.
(been there and done that.lol)

Right. That would be worse! But then again, it would have been nice to at least go out with her for a while since we seemed to be way more compatible than any of the other girls I have been meeting.

Luckily I've never been stood up, but I have had girls cancel plans on me or make me wait to find out if we were going to go out a certain night. The making you wait thing is pure BS too and I guess should be a huge sign to drop the girl. I never do that but I probably should learn my lesson from past experiences not to put up with a girl who makes you wait on them.

Don't give up...date more women. Try not to judge all women from you past experince with women.
All women are not the same. They're all crazy in their own different ways...lmao

Have a women told you that your too good for her yet ?lmao
How about the infamouse...I love you or like you...BUT...BUT...BUT...fcken BUT...lol
"You're such a nice guy i don't want to hurt you or mess up our friendship or what we have"...lmao

Oh yeah, one actual girlfriend I had at the beginning of the year told me she loved me, but wanted to date other people too... She was like, well it's not like I make you spend money on me (point taken), and I'll still want to spend almost every day with you, so it's not really a bad thing.

Um, great! Thanks girl.

Anyways, this isn't just about me not being able to handle the rejection, it's also the anger stemming from a girl blowing me off as if she doesn't owe me a responce after we already went on what seemed to be a good date. I just don't think I should be cool about it as if it's ok to treat me like that and maybe feel that I deserve to tell her so.

 

[luciddisconnect]

Yeah, the girl's been outright impolite.

No you shouldn't call her up to tell her off.

Best scenario if you did this is that you wouldn't hear from her. Worst scenario is that you call her up, tell her what you think, and then she gets totally pissy on you, leaving you more angry than before. Or maybe the worst scenario is that you call her up and she pretends that she didn't mean to blow you off, and you find yourself led down the same ol' trail of bullshit.

So my advice is to preserve your dignity, let it go, and feel good knowing that you're the better person.

 

[Jack Kerouac]

Yeah, the girl's been outright impolite.

No you shouldn't call her up to tell her off.

Best scenario if you did this is that you wouldn't hear from her. Worst scenario is that you call her up, tell her what you think, and then she gets totally pissy on you, leaving you more angry than before. Or maybe the worst scenario is that you call her up and she pretends that she didn't mean to blow you off, and you find yourself led down the same ol' trail of bullshit.

So my advice is to preserve your dignity, let it go, and feel good knowing that you're the better person.

I wasn't going to call her- just send a text saying something to the effect of- next time tell somebody who took you out on a date you're not interested instead of ignoring their calls, which is ignorant as hell, so they don't have to waste time thinking about you.

I don't know how she could possibly argue back with that as it's not really unrealistically mean, and it's pretty true.

I just feel weird letting a person ignore me as if I find that to be acceptible. I feel almost like it would be weak not to say something. Isn't it right to stand up for yourself when you feel mistreated? I don't know if I feel like I'm preserving my dignity by keeping quiet- it almost feels like the opposite.

Thanks for your post though.

 

[luciddisconnect]

I just feel weird letting a person ignore me as if I find that to be acceptible. I feel almost like it would be weak not to say something. Isn't it right to stand up for yourself when you feel mistreated? I don't know if I feel like I'm preserving my dignity by keeping quiet- it almost feels like the opposite.

Thanks for your post though.

I guess I wrote this thinking of certain personal experiences. I knew a girl with whom I had lots of commonalities and I'd try to hang out with her on occasion, just as friends - there wasn't really any chemistry between us. I didn't know many people here, so I put a fair bit of effort into forming a friendship with her. I'd make plans with her and half the time she'd totally blow me off. And then I'd see her again and she'd be happy to see me and all interested. And then I'd see her again and we'd make plans and she'd blow me off. A few times I let her know that I was pissed off about it and why-the-hell you can't just call to cancel?

And finally I realized that girl was a wreck who just didn't give a fresia. So what's the point of telling her off. She's already embarked on another one of her stupid dramas and I'm not invited. And eventually she'll get herpes or raped or addicted to heroin or arrested. Whatever; fresia her. I don't want to speak to or hear from that girl again because doing so in any capacity would tell her that she still holds some weight in my memory.

Anyway, if you think you'll feel better by texting the girl then by all means do it.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Ya know...Dila did that to me a couple of months ago...
No Wait...she didn't do anything to me...I wish she would done things to me

A very friendly woman. We had a lot in common.
Two weeks later she just stopped taking my calls.
yeah..it messed with me a little bit..but eventaully I had to let go of her.
Yeah... I still had that..." I'll fucken show you *****", attitude ingrained in me.
Well...it was kind of easy since I wasn't totally emotionally attached to her yet.

For me personally, I rather savor the good memories of Dila.
I don't have any bad memories of Dila...which is a good thing.
No dignity here...just plan sanity is good enough for me..lol
She was mine for the day. It was fun while it lasted.
Nothing last forever...even my anger towards Sherry

I love myself today and there's plenty more love inside of me.

Plus...fucken Leeann would never tell me fucken NO or YES.
That woman didn't know how to let me down right..
Maybe she did....talking her seem so **** retarded after a while...
My god **** brain had to get caught up to speed...lmao

 

[LonelyDesert]

Ignore her, it works every time. I just became single after a 8 year relationship, and I started dating (what a stupid term) again. One thing I've learned with women, act like you don't really care, they will call you. Somehow it's still the jungle thing, someone who is after them isn't a challenge. I could care less most of the time, I would rather be alone and because of that the phone won't stop ringing. go figure?? but if I find a girl I really like and pay close attention too, nothing will happen, yeah I'm nice, yeah this yeah that, but I'm a book on a bookshelf, as far as they are concerned I'm always there. Go the other direction, I tell them there is no way in hell I'm ready for anything, so stay away, and they won't. good luck!

 

[Uga]

I went through something similar a couple months ago. I went out on a date with a girl and we hit it off. We had several things in common and she even hugged me several times throughout the night. After the date was over she text me saying she had a lot of fun.....THE END. The following week I felt that night was just a dream. She wouldn't answer any of my calls. She would only respond to my texts if I asked her a question and her replies would normally be, "yeah" "no" "cool!" I got fed up with her apathy that I eventually stopped contacting her. She never contacted me again nor did she give me any reason why she was so neglectful towards me. Mostly all the women I have encountered in my life have acted the same way as her. It's no surprise whenever I come across them. The best way to deal with it is to move on immediately and not analyze anything. If they're willing to ignore you are they even worth your time and thoughts? That's what I usually tell myself so I wish you all the better.

 

[SophiaGrace]

i think you are suffering because you want something from her she isnt giving you. Let go of expectations. You've done your part to show her you're interested. Now the ball is in her court and you have to recognize that. And, you dont know what's going on, perhaps it's not you. Perhaps something is going on in her life right now that she just cannot be available for someone that she is actually interested in. My point is in all of this, dont blame yourself...

It may not be you.

Let go.

Your life wont end without this girl.

Go about your daily routine and if she calls you, GREAT if not youre alright as you are

 

[DakotaDesert]

Ignore her, it works every time. I just became single after a 8 year relationship, and I started dating (what a stupid term) again. One thing I've learned with women, act like you don't really care, they will call you. Somehow it's still the jungle thing, someone who is after them isn't a challenge. I could care less most of the time, I would rather be alone and because of that the phone won't stop ringing. go figure?? but if I find a girl I really like and pay close attention too, nothing will happen, yeah I'm nice, yeah this yeah that, but I'm a book on a bookshelf, as far as they are concerned I'm always there. Go the other direction, I tell them there is no way in hell I'm ready for anything, so stay away, and they won't. good luck!

Why thinking that a girl who is told that you don't care will come after you because you seems to be unaccessible? Maybe that girl cares about you and prefers ignoring what you say. I do not know what experiences good or bad you had with women but I can assure you that they do not all act the same.