If I was someone else would this all fall apart

[Ghost Rider]

So my life has over the past few years has definitely changed dramatically, I thought that I was lonely and depressed before, but my situation now is lookin bleaker and bleaker everyday.
Let me start off by saying I used to go to this site when I was in high school because I was lonely but little did I know, it was just the beginning. I'm 20 now.
I've had GAD since I was 15. It was debilitating until I was able to gain control over my mind. I also have this joint issue that makes everyday a mental and physical battle. I was told that my quality of life would be diminished because my joints were grinding away faster then usual. This really took a toll on me, realizing my mentality was just a mere facade. I lived for the moment from then on. I have been a hardcore pot smoker for years, it in itself is an issue but it's something that Im working on in my own time. I had a few best friends but things are changing fast and they're not around anymore. I used to be somewhat of a social person but even then I always felt distant and alone. I have had very short relationships with women because I tend to only attract and connect with women that have a lot of life issues or baggage. I have yet to find a "normal" relationship with someone or even a partner that genuinely cares for me. The last relationship I was in was devastating, in short I made a fool out of myself because I loved the wrong person, simple as that.
A year ago, I got into a car accident and now I live everyday in pain. My life has literally took a turn for the worst. I do realize how fortunate I am to be alive, but at the end of the day no amount of money is worth living life in pain. Which is a notion that I've thought about for a while. I know we're supposed to be grown up and able to deal with change, but what makes life worth living if ur already lonely an depressed and on top of that add pain to your everyday life. It makes trying to create a normal life next to impossible.
I'm not writing here for sympathy or anything. I just really need to get it out there.
The teathers of reality are far too much, but I do realize this is life, if we're not dead then we just have to live and make the best out of everyday. But ****, it's easy to say

 

[LoneKiller]

Hi Ghost.
Nice to meet you. I'm sorry to hear that you are having a shitty life right now. With your particular afflictions, smoking weed will only do you more harm than good in my opinion. It did in my life before I quit.

What's important here is that you don't let drugs or alcohol serve as an escape for your pain. I know it sounds like it's easy for me to say, but I've been where you're at. It's great for a while, then eventually, they will start contributing more and more to your depression. Eventually, you will have to use just to feel normal.

You deserve respect for just summoning the courage to share your feelings with a forum such as this. Posting this thread shows a person who has the guts to ask for help. Let's take your guts and see how much better we can make you feel in your day to day life.

If you want to talk, I'm sure that we can help you with your pain.


God Bless.
LK

 

[beautifulsorrow]

I am sorry for your pain

 

[Kat]

Welcome to the forum Ghost Rider. You're very strong to face what you have in your life so far and persevere.

 

[Sci-Fi]

At least once in our lives we make a fool of ourselves and fall for someone we later realize we shouldn't have. Sorry to hear about all the pain you feel but I bet you are an inspiration to people around you even if no one says so.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Have you gone to a doctor about your physical pain?

 

[Ghost Rider]

Thank you all for the quick response, I appreciate all of your input and advice, honestly thank you,
Regarding the other posters
Lone killer, thanks a lot, I do understand that my pot use does have an affect but it's right now and for the past little bit it's been my crutch, I could say whatever but in the end it's a drug, it will effect you. I'm sure you can understand though, when there's nothing but darkness, you'll drift towards any light that will help you keep going. And that seems to be my misguided light. I realize in this life, we just gotta keep goin, and my drug use allows me to accept the things that I cannot change, the reality that I live in. I still haven't fully accepted the fact that I am in pain because not too long ago i was pain free and still I was depressed. I would like to talk more in the near future tho, I'll be messaging u sometime this week.

Sophia grace- yes I have been to a doctor, been goin for a while, since I have that joint issue, the doc said it would be easier to treat a broken bone, they can only offer me painkillers which I have tried but it's not something to mess around with, but thanks a lot, I feel as though i have exhausted almost every route possible,but I haven't given up yet


And to everyone else, thanks, I really do appreciate all of your genuine responses,
Im sure you all can understand that sometimes we just need to be heard and understood, and again I thank all of you and I look forward to our future conversations

 

[dannyr22]

hi OP,

If you need to talk more about the pot, you can PM me

I went cold turkey on the skunk, it messed me up now I have mental health probs