Matt L said:
There's a new girl at work who I like a lot. She's fun, energetic and a friendly person to be around. She's the second girl in my life that I've built the nerve to ask out. She told me that she isn't allowed to date other guys just yet. But the next week I find out she has a "kinda sorta boyfriend", I assume someone else she's interested in.
This is an endless cycle I feel I will never escape. Every time an attractive girl smiles at me, talks to me or just even notices me, I'm stricken for them. I mistake her friendly nature, which she shows to everyone around her, for interest in me. Then I obsess over her. I can't get her face out of my head. I can't stop thinking back on our past interactions. I stress about the next day I may be able to see her. And these girls are either always taken or not interested in me as a potential partner. I hardly get to work with her at all, maybe twice a week at most so I barely get to see her. I wished I didn't at all so maybe I could get over her but at the same time whenever she's not around I miss her.
This effects me a great deal. I've never been on a date, held hands, kissed a girl etc. I feel depressed that I'm missing out on so much in life that I should've already experienced. I don't have any friends to distract me. I live in a crappy rural town where there's really nothing to do or anywhere to go that could help me get my mind off things. When I'm not at work I just sit at home for a couple hours and sleep the rest of the day. I feel so dead and empty inside. I can't stand feeling like I'm less than human. That I was born too pathetic to experience one of the most basic human needs.
Sorry this is kinda all over the place, I just needed to vent.
I think too many people are missing the point of this post and overly focusing on the age difference. That is a separate issue here, and the real message is that he can't even get a date with a naive childlike female. Kind of reminds me of the phrase, "if he can't do it, anyone can."
The problem here is hopelessness. There's no options around you, there's nothing to do, and what little opportunity that occasionally appears, disappears.
There is a messed up order of operations going on in your system. Being young isn't a crime, but you should know that at your age, and based on your post that kind of backs up my perspective here, is that you are looking at the little picture. Reminds me of people who show up on a job, jealous at the salary people are receiving who have worked there for 30 years. You need to pay your dues in life, not that it's a requirement to get a girlfriend. Hell, the biggest problem in your situation is where you live most likely. When I was about to get out of the army back in the 80's, I wanted a girlfriend...bad. No internet at the time, thus I turned to the next best thing, the world almanac - looked up cities in the united states that had a skewed ratio of females to males. Found a good place with good odds, and moved there. Guess what? My luck there was no ******* different that my luck in the military town I just left. So, I moved again, changed my system, and within a week my luck changed. That is a story in itself, for another time around the beernight campfire.
Back to you, not knowing you or your level of social skills, looks, health-level, or really anything, I will go with the law of averages. You probably need some good confidence-boosting experiences to build your abilities in communication confidence skills. Definitely use work as a classroom of life by tweaking general communication between yourself and other people. Suzette Hayden Elgin's communication books are the foundation from where I reformed my own communication ability. Remember, women/girls LOVE to talk, and we men need to learn to listen to them. Learn to provide valuable feedback - and honestly be interested.
At your age, I was engaged. (although that was a big bad mistake on my choice. another story) The moral of that statement was I moved, several times. To increase your odds of getting a date, you might need to remember "location location location" sometimes is the biggest difference. Another piece of advice, if you're not in shape, start a workout program. I've worked out for almost 40 years - and being muscular doesn't guarantee girls will be gushing over your muscles, but it does boost YOUR confidence level some by giving you a better self image. I'm not really good looking at all, but while dating I really didn't focus on my balding disposition (which everyone male in my family suffers from), nor my height which "used" to be average at 5' 10" - sometimes I think everyone these days is 6' +. And while I am probably average at best in the looks dept, and as a general life pattern, people tend to dislike my personality (and even now - my "friends list" is a very short one), I have had rather good luck with women. If I had to choose between having a healthy social circle or a romantic one-on-one relationship, I'll dismiss the entire social world here on earth. Which pretty much is what I might as well have done in life.
Anyway; this gives you a good place to start.
* Location
* Build better communication skills
* workout program
Those are three things you CAN do to better the odds. Start there.
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