im either a giant wuss or something is mentally wrong with me...

[edgecrusher]

why do i do this to myself? im either a giant wuss or something is mentally wrong with me...

i worked with the girl i like for the first time in a while last night. for those that read my long post i put up like 2 weeks ago youll know what im talking about otherwise you might not get it. anyway, all the honeysuckle in my head that bothers me just goes away when im around her. in the back of my mind i feel like shes trying to send me signals or something but then at the same time my mind thinks its just be me being hopeful when i dont have a chance. i have never dated before and i have no idea what i am doing or what to look for. its just that what i saw she put up on her myspace and facebook after work leads me to believe that maybe she is trying to give me hints. i think im just so unconfident in myself that i cant possibly think this is what i want it to be which is her showing interest in me. maybe she is just as shy as me when it comes to this. i have wanted to say something to her for the longest time but i dont want to enter "weird annoying guy at work that likes her" territory but its been a long time since i sent her those messages telling her how i felt and got no response. this has kept me up half the night last night. i want to just send her one more message explaing the whole situation sort of like i did just now, even if its just to give me some peace of mind.

 

[edgecrusher]

well i sent her a message like i said i wanted to. well see how that goes. at the very least i can have some peace of mind knowing that i actually did it because thats the most ive ever done in a situation like this. now i dont have to be stuck wondering what would have happened. of course if she doesnt respond like she did with the other messages then im still in the same spot.

 

[Minus]

Good luck

 

[Badjedidude]

Good job. Taking that first step is always the hardest...and it is always best to be honest.

2x Good luck!

 

[edgecrusher]

this is like the one day where she doesnt check her myspace. ive been blah all day waiting for her to check it just so i know and she never even did today. itll be another restless night for me because of this. having to wait is killing me.

 

[Badjedidude]

How do you know she didn't check it? She may have checked it...and is currently trying to figure out how to respond. Just give it time.

I don't know why you're so worked up about it...as if this were your LAST CHANCE or something. It isn't. Just calm down and enjoy the ride.

 

[edgecrusher]

How do you know she didn't check it? She may have checked it...and is currently trying to figure out how to respond. Just give it time.

I don't know why you're so worked up about it...as if this were your LAST CHANCE or something. It isn't. Just calm down and enjoy the ride.

thanks, it made me smile when i read what you said because its just like me to get worked up over it. i know she didnt check because her last login was yesterday, well now its the day before yesterday. also i can see my sent messages and its said whether they have been read or not. i know i know, im dwelling on it too much. but thats how my mind works. it over analyzes things and i get stressed. like i wonder if it will freak her out that i sent this to her so many months later. its just she has been on my mind all these months and i didnt know how to take the lack of response i originally got from her. i just automatically assumed the worst. i just am tired of letting my shyness and social akwardness get in the way of so many things in my life and i told her that. i just hope i dont freak her out or anything because i will eventually have to work with ehr again, hopefully next week.

 

[edgecrusher]

well... she read it but yet again i got no response. she was on facebook so i sent her "whats up?" in chat and it sat there for a few minutes and then she got offline. it was so hard for me to even send her that in chat, thats how nervous i get about this. all i have to go on is that her myspace status is... "inspired." this lack of response from either of those will put me back in my hole all nervous and afraid to say anything. i am left still wondering. gonna be another restless night. this is my curse...

 

[edgecrusher]

if no one is keeping up with me oh well, this is just a good way for me to get this out, lol. i think she is ignoring me, lol. right now she is back and forth from facebook and myspace and my chat messages are being ignored. although she doesnt have internet at home so i think she is on via her phone so i dont know if the chat works with that. anwyay, all im doing is saying like "hey" and "whats up." i dont want to be pushy but im thinking of telling her that im not going to just drop it like i did last time. do you think that is too much?

 

[Death-cap]

From my experience woman dont like "Needy" partners.
You are not helping the situation IMHO.
Go out and have some fun with mates or something and try forget about her.
Certainly dont sit at your computer waiting for her.
Make them wait for you my friend.
There is an old saying and i will get e bashed for this.
Treat em mean Keep em keen.
No i dont agree with this literally rather a more subtle variant.
Pretend she is not all important and ignore her communication should she reply to you again.
Failing that you have already lost her man. Read the signs.
Let this be a lesson. Dont be so damned Needy.

 

[edgecrusher]

There is an old saying and i will get e bashed for this.
Treat em mean Keep em keen.
No i dont agree with this literally rather a more subtle variant.
Pretend she is not all important and ignore her communication should she reply to you again.

thats what pretty much everyone told me months ago when i first told her how i felt and nothing ever came of it. i just get these little signs here and there that make me think she is talking about me. i figured she wasnt interested or after dealing with all the crap in her life she is just afraid to let anyone get close to her anymore. because of this i tried to let it go and i just cant. she wont get out of my mind. after working with her for the first time in a while thursday i have realized that all the stupid honeysuckle in my mind that bothers me just goes away when i am around her. i told her that in the message i sent the other day. she knows how i feel about her. if this is a game, im done with it being that way. if this is like a test to see if i want it enough then i am going to pass it. based on some quotes and things ive seen on her myspace i can totally see her doing that. im not letting my shyness get me this time and i will pursue this until i get some sort of response from her. even if i have to tell it to her that way. maybe thats what she needs to see from me instead of this shy akward guy that i am. if not... well then atleast i can say i tried and didnt let my shyness get the best of me this time.

 

[Frodo Baggins]

I think that you are focusing on one thing to the exclusion of all other things. Like Gollum on the ring. It ended rather badly for him because he became obsessive.
Kick back a gear and take the pressure off. Start doing things that do not factor her necessity in your thoughts and work on you.
You will be far more the better candidate for dating if confident and less stressed.

BTW I also agree with deathcap

 

[Badjedidude]

maybe thats what she needs to see from me instead of this shy akward guy that i am. if not... well then atleast i can say i tried and didnt let my shyness get the best of me this time.

It sounds like she's really shy....so I say keep trying until she positively tells you to back off.

Either way, this is a definite step forward!! You've actually taken forward movement and intention in creating a relationship! So even if this goes badly, learn from it and do better next time! After all, the hardest part is doing it the first time. After that, it gets easier and easier as you gain experience. So congrats!

 

[edgecrusher]

maybe thats what she needs to see from me instead of this shy akward guy that i am. if not... well then atleast i can say i tried and didnt let my shyness get the best of me this time.

It sounds like she's really shy....so I say keep trying until she positively tells you to back off.

Either way, this is a definite step forward!! You've actually taken forward movement and intention in creating a relationship! So even if this goes badly, learn from it and do better next time! After all, the hardest part is doing it the first time. After that, it gets easier and easier as you gain experience. So congrats!

thanks. i must admit it feels good to be doing this and i feel determined and like i have some form of purpose. even though it feels like i am wasting my time and that might be just me being negative because i literally have no idea at this point. me and my coworker got food from her other job and she gave me this sauce i said my sister loved even though i didnt order the thing that it comes with. i texted her thanks and she said your welcome. then i texted her "so... am i going to to get to talk to you about my message or am i going to have to keep annpying you? lol" got no response, still no message on myspace. her mood is determined, whatever that means.

i have to work with her thursday so we will see what happens. before then i think im going to send her a message saying that i am not going to wuss out and drop it this time because i am tired of letting my shyness get the best of me and see if that gets a response.

---

i finally got something from her and i dont really know how to take it. she started to chat with me on myspace. she said that she has feelings for someone right now and she is going through something with them. the funny thing is is like a week ago she she changed her status on facebook to single. i kind of think what it really is is she isnt interested and she doesnt want to tell me it that way so she doesnt hurt me or something. i just told her that if she needed soeone to talk to that i was here for her because i would like to think that i could be a good friend because i think of her that way.

 

[drifter]

i finally got something from her and i dont really know how to take it. she started to chat with me on myspace. she said that she has feelings for someone right now and she is going through something with them. the funny thing is is like a week ago she she changed her status on facebook to single. i kind of think what it really is is she isnt interested and she doesnt want to tell me it that way so she doesnt hurt me or something. i just told her that if she needed soeone to talk to that i was here for her because i would like to think that i could be a good friend because i think of her that way.

She definitely doesnt want to hurt you. That's why she backs off whenever you text her, imo.

So you didnt gave up, I applaud that, but now I think you have to let it go. Or you might lose her friendship too..And she does seem to care about you.

Sounds like you can have a valueable friend right there, man. Dont waste it.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I'd have to agree with Death-cap, although I wouldn't have put it so harshly. This has happened to me before actually, and this is how I felt:

I felt like I couldn't even decide if I did like him or not. He was on my back about wanting to be with me nearly every time we spoke. And it just got old. He never let me get a breath in about it. So, what I ended up doing was backing off. If he was like that about simply liking me, I couldn't imagine what else he would breathe down my neck for.

Give her some space and time to like you. Sounds like to me you're almost smothering her, message after message. Let her think for herself.

 

[LiberalExtinction]

you said you work with her.

here is some advice. its never good to "hook up" with people you work with known a few people who have done this.

one of them lost his job when they split.

anther one had 2 kids by the chick and not only did he lose his job when they split he now has to pay $200 a week in support and thanks to the economy, he cant find another job now facing possible jail time due to back support.

(and yes this can be bad for women to ie woman can lose her job ect ect)

so remember that. and think is this really worth risking x,x,x,and x over her/him if it goes bad?

 

[ChiCowboy]

Never be afraid to tell someone how you feel.

I know; that's easy for me to say. I have difficulty following that advice all the time, so I know what you're going through, but they are words of wisdom nonetheless.

 

[Cathedral]

That's what I hate about people. They ignore you or play these stupid games with you. It really hurts more than it helps.