Im eris

[eris]

Im getting ready to turn 30 and i havent had any friends for ten years.Before I was 20, I had some friends, but not very loyal ones. In 2000, a relationship ended and i was crushed. i went to bed and didnt get out for 3 years. I litteraly talked to no one but my mother, but she really wasnt that interested in me. I moved to the city, preparing to start a new life, going to the community college. As the weeks and months and years went by, no one ever became interested enough to have lenghthly conversations with me. Also, I was really depressed, and Im sure I was giving off a negative vibe. I didnt even have a telephone, knowing no one would ever call me. I remeber new years eve 2004, I sat alone in my apartment feeling "physically painfull lonlieness". I told myself if I still didnt make a connection with someone, I was going to kill myself next new years eve. I had that same conversation with myself new years 2005, and 2006.( dont worry, i dont feel that way anymore) Then my apartment building burned down, and I temporarily ended up in a psych ward. There I started taking antidepressants but most importantly, I met my husband, and he saved my life. He is the only person I talk to, and I rarely leave the house. I get so nervous around people. Im so depressed I cant stand it. I have these dreams every night,where people have friends all around me, and I am alone.These dreams are killing me. I am intelligent, clean and sometimes funny. If there is anyone out there willing to have a conversation with me, I promise you I'll listen to anything you have to say

 

[Steel]

Hey Eris, and welcome.

 

[Punisher]

Hi eris

 

[mintymint]

Welcome Eris Stop by the chat room sometime for some good, fun, pointless conversation Here's the link:

http://www.alonelylife.com/showthread.php?tid=6827

 

[eris]

Hi everyone.


thanks for the link!

 

[All In The Mind]

Merry Christmas!

 

[nerdygirl]

Hello

 

[Lawrens]

Hey Eris! Welcome

 

[Badjedidude]

Welcome to the site.

 

[Zak]

hey! how are you?

 

[Belzazace]

Sounds like you need a friend Eris, I would love to have a chat with you about anything you like. I'm not very good at going out or making friends so we already have something in common. I very rarely go out unless im working or seeing my dad, stepmum and their kids. I live with my fiance and my 4 cats, 1 dog, 2 mice (they are clean, friendly and very tame) and our aquarium. My fiance is obsessed with his marine fish whilst I take care of the rest of our brood. I love all of my animals so much because I moved out of home very early and was alone on my own for several years and needed some love. So when I got my first kitty I realise Animals love you unconditionally and they are always happy to see you, no matter how honeysuckle you feel... Also although I love my fiance unquestionably sometimes I feel so very alone, even though we live in the same house. isnt that just strange...?

Well ive told you a little about me, if you wanna chat you know where you can find me anytime you wanna say something... Belza

Im getting ready to turn 30 and i havent had any friends for ten years.Before I was 20, I had some friends, but not very loyal ones. In 2000, a relationship ended and i was crushed. i went to bed and didnt get out for 3 years. I litteraly talked to no one but my mother, but she really wasnt that interested in me. I moved to the city, preparing to start a new life, going to the community college. As the weeks and months and years went by, no one ever became interested enough to have lenghthly conversations with me. Also, I was really depressed, and Im sure I was giving off a negative vibe. I didnt even have a telephone, knowing no one would ever call me. I remeber new years eve 2004, I sat alone in my apartment feeling "physically painfull lonlieness". I told myself if I still didnt make a connection with someone, I was going to kill myself next new years eve. I had that same conversation with myself new years 2005, and 2006.( dont worry, i dont feel that way anymore) Then my apartment building burned down, and I temporarily ended up in a psych ward. There I started taking antidepressants but most importantly, I met my husband, and he saved my life. He is the only person I talk to, and I rarely leave the house. I get so nervous around people. Im so depressed I cant stand it. I have these dreams every night,where people have friends all around me, and I am alone.These dreams are killing me. I am intelligent, clean and sometimes funny. If there is anyone out there willing to have a conversation with me, I promise you I'll listen to anything you have to say

 

[Mr. Self Destruct]

Hi Eris

We have a somewhat similar story, my last friend was in the year 2000 as well. Although I was certainly able to get out of bed each day, it took me about 6 yrs. to get anything going again. I was a hopeless pot head and was stoned for every waking second of each day.

It wasn't a failed relationship that was the cause, as in your case, but a decision on my part to stop talking to all my friends. Sometimes I regret it, but most of the time I don't.

I get really nervous around people too.

So anyways, although I don't know exactly how you feel- It was nice to read your post and see that we have similar experiences.