Ghost said:
I really hate life right now. Why can't I ever be happy? All I can think about is how terrible I am feeling, and I can't sleep. Last night I got two hours disrupted hours, and the night before I didn't sleep at all, though I have had long naps so it isn't as bad as it sounds. I really need to sleep, but my mind is out of control. I feel so inferior. It seems like there is nothing I can do to help myself because I've been like this for a very long time. Would you believe I'm not very tired right now?
I can't stop thinking about how I am bad at so many things. I wish every day I was a different person. I am so angry and my moods fluctuate like crazy. One minute I'm euphoric and loving life, and the next I'm like this.
I really wonder what the point is, why I go on realizing beyond realization, as if sitting in the dark thinking about everything will make it better. There is no point to anything.
Ghost...you can always reach out for help in real life.
Please understand alot of us had been there in the mind set
at one piont or the other. So please, do not beat up on yourself.
Yes...it's very fustrating at time...because I as much as anyone
else wanted to get up every day and be OK...
It wasn't like that at all...I woke up with a lot of negative crap
running through my mind and ran with it...after I ran with it...
It made me worn out and tired as hell.
mmm..it's bascailly obsessive, complusive thinking.
I don't have all the answers..
But i do have some copping skills or a living program
First i had to understand and accept...a lot of that honeysuckle was in my head.
Self acceptence.
Just by accepting this...when I get an anxiety attacks...I simply just chilled and
sat down and let it pass through me. "this too shall pass"
I stopped beating myself up..I stopped judging and condeming myself.
I disconnected the fucken TV for a while...there was too much negative riff raff honeysuckle on the BOX.
I simply went and got a CD with nature and soft music and set it on replay 24/7...
it calmed me down..because I saw pretty cool images on the screen and hear soothing music all the time.
It didn't solved all of my problems...however I become clamer and relaxed because i wasn't bombared with
the media..sex, violence, dramma...turama...news...commercial of honeysuckle i was lacking and endless fucken problems.
I needed to stop feeding my brain those data.
My brain also release natural chemicles. My thoughts drives my emotions.
If i replay negative honeysuckle or create negative honeysuckle...that's how I'm going to feel..and the brain release chemicles accordingly.
And most of the time. I was on AUTOPILOT...my brain was running the show...not me.
I simply just need to take responsiblities and take charge of my mind.
Well...fresia, if it can do that with negartive emotions...it can do the same with positive thoughts.
Kind of over board...but sometimes I recall a memory of me having a fucken orgazism or whatever happy times
in my life. Then I just hold that feeling all day...My brain releases natural endorphine.
I walk around all day with a smile and feeling good. It just takes practice...
I chose to be happy today...that's it..that simple.
Breaking habits takes around 21 days.
I have to keep it simple like that...I'm just breaking habits of feeling like honeysuckle all the time.
That's why i also go excercizing...my brain release natural endorphine after a good jog.
I also had to deal with my negative inner vioce...
My inner vioce is neatural. It dosen't matter if the message is good or bad...it just plays the message.
I simply just asked or replaced my negative inner vioce with a positive one.
That's it...it's that simple.
I read an article about it years ago...
I felt weird at first but I did notice that stupid ass inner vioce beating up on myself..I simple replaced the old tape
wiht a positive one.
At first I wore a rubber band around my wrist and snap it everytime I catch myself telling myself how much I suck
or life suck...I catch myself faster and faster. Stop the negative tape and play the positive tape.
It just takes practice or applications.
You don't even have to be religouse to figure it out...
In the Bible Jesus..said "according to your faith it is done on to you".
The riddle or answer is that simple.
We all have faith...We all think or belive the sun is going to raise tomorrow...that's faith.
What is your faith ? It's just the way you belive or think.
Change your thinking change your life.
Also look up food for your brain thread...CG posted.
That helps too...Certain food we eat release feel good chemicles in our brain.
I work the 12 steps program..It gose more into dept of peeling away my pains, shame, guilt...etc.
In a nutshell , I get to that piont of letting go of all that negative mental and emotional baggages.
Bascailly that's all my sponsor will tell me sometimes...Just stay positive.
I'll bet ya...you're mind will stop spinning if you make yourself sit down and try to write a gradtitude list
or your assets/good quality list