I'm never had a girlfriend

[Okna]

I am 19 years old and I'm never had a girlfriend. I feel sadness and loneliness. I want to cuddle, to be appreciated and have a loving girlfriend. I have a few friends - no option to know a girl by a friend. I met a PUA, but it did not solve my problems. Approaches can in the street, a bus, but there is not enough time to build interest. A few minutes is not enough. I used the law of attraction, and nothing. From his face I'm pretty, but I am very short 164.

Seduction in the clubs is not for me because I'm not who you go to the club and parents will not let me alone. I can not dance and I feel bad for yourself when the room is a lot of people speaking up.

I go to technical school, and there is little girls. There are sports classes, and I'm in the shade of a well-built and athletic boys.


Bothers me is the fact that 17 year olds have a girlfriend and I have not.

Where can I meet an intelligent, mature girl?

 

[RebeccaSarah33]

just find things that you like to do and not worry about it too much eventually you'll probably stumble upon a girl while you are doing something you enjoy, then have something in common it makes it easier to talk. Don't feel too bad about not having a girl, everyone's life is different, you are still a great you with or without a girl

 

[SophiaGrace]

you are complete within yourself. you are.

Make friends...be nice...be friendly...care for others...

and you'll find someone when the time is right for YOU.

 

[CAS]

I'm not one to sugar-coat the pill. I'm 22 and in your situation and it hurts me, angers me and plagues my mind almost every moment of every day.

I'm not going to give advice because I don't have any, and I'm not going to give you the standard bullshit that usually gets said to people in our situation (it'll be alright, it'll happen when you're ready etc.) , but rest assured you're not alone. There are many others in your situation on this forum and most of them will be happy to talk to you. I for one certainly will.

If you want to send me an email or P.M. then go ahead. I know how it feels to want that intamacy with a woman and for it to seem like such an impossible dream. It tortures the soul.

 

[Sway]

Hey I'm 19 too and never had a girlfriend... same boat buddy ....I had girlfriend needs torment me my entire high school life....trust me its not worth spending thought over....my advice to you is to find a way for it not to bother you, i noe it sounds hard.. but i've done it

To be able to find a good girlfriend, u have to be absolutely comfortable being single, that's a show of Self-Confidence, and Self-Confidence attracts girls
Start slowly and find ways to not let it get to you... never blame yourself!

Hope this helped

 

[Badjedidude]

Here's a good start for confidence building.

I don't remember where I read this, but I tried it myself and it really works. Just follow this simple step for about a week or two, and you'll find that your confidence levels for interacting with the opposite sex have skyrocketed:

Once a day, every day, for about a week, compliment a woman. It's that simple. Compliment a random stranger (preferably a different one every day) about her appearance every day for a week or two. This is just an exercise, not trolling for dates, so there's no pressure to perform or close the deal. Just walk up to a good-looking gal and say, "Hey, I like your clothes/hair/dog/whatever. You look good."

If she responds positively, chat for a second or two and walk away. DON'T turn this into a long-winded introduction or anything. Keep it short and simple. Like I said, it's just an exercise in self-confidence. Chances are you'll never see the girl again.

If she responds negatively, shrug and walk away. Like I said above, you'll probably never see her again and if she can't take a compliment from a stranger, that's her beef.

I'm totally serious, this little challenge can raise your levels of confidence. It worked for me. Try it! I dare you!

----Steve

 

[flylikeplanes]

You gotta build some confidence. Without confidence you arent gonna find yourself a girl any time soon. Take the time to look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself "What qualities do I have, that a girl might not like?" I mean looks, personality, higeine everything. I mean sorry to say, but some girls look at that kind of stuff. Once you see what qualities you give off, it might help you see what might turn certain girls off and fix it a little.

Then you try talking to a girl, I mean dont go for those really prissy stuck up girls cause you are gonna get turned the eff down. They are bitches and heartless. Just cause shes really pretty, and keept her self looking nice, doesnt mean shes nice personality wise. Trust me. Go for someone you think is attractive, but doesnt look like a *****. make convo, talk to her. compliment her. Girls love compliments. I mean dont make it obvious like you are trying to hit on her cause girls HATE desperate guys and that will turn her away. You get her attention, see if you see her again. I mean obviously if you are planning on seeing her again, you gotta pick someone who you know you will encounter everyday. In class, at work, at an activity you always go to(volunteer work, extracurricular activities, sports, gym etc.) if not, your messed and wont see her again without looking like a prick and looking desperate. DONT ask for her number on the first time you talk to her. Chances are shes gonna get weirded out and give you a fake number or something, or just make an excuse not to give it to you. Boom, there go your chances of meeting a girl. You cant be very forward, cause really it makes you look desperate and that you wanna get in her pants. You kinda have to get up under our skin and slowly make your way there. Go 100 miles in our direction, well go 100 miles in the other direction. Gotta go SLOW.

If you are lazy in terms of looks and higyene, then think again buddy, thats saying something. Fix yourself up, make yourself look good, smell good. Just like you as a guy, like a girl who keeps herself well groomed and looks nice for you, You in turn have to look nice for her as well and groom yourself. We humans, no matter what one says, ALWAYS judge someone by the way they look first. Even if it is very subtle, we make a small note on how that person looked. The better they look, the more you wanna look, am I right? Im not saying you are like this, but you know just pointing it out just in case cause its the truth.

I'm a very honest person and I can be blunt. So dont take what I said the wrong way, just giving you a few points on how vain humans can be. we judge looks a little (some more than others) I mean you like how she looks, you try and talk to her. duh. You think the ***** is ugly, you dont talk to her. common sense. You gotta make yourself look like eye candy to them too. You look ugly = no talk to you. it about the girls preference and yours. but I suggest that you dont hop into something with a girl because you are desperate for a relationship. You want a good relationship, being a little picky goes a long way. You pick the right girl, you end up staying with her longer cause you both have more in common.

Hope this is of some use to you. Dont take it the wrong way.

 

[Wyrm]

Here's a good start for confidence building.



Once a day, every day, for about a week, compliment a woman. It's that simple. Compliment a random stranger (preferably a different one every day) about her appearance every day for a week or two. This is just an exercise, not trolling for dates, so there's no pressure to perform or close the deal. Just walk up to a good-looking gal and say, "Hey, I like your clothes/hair/dog/whatever. You look good."

If she responds positively, chat for a second or two and walk away. DON'T turn this into a long-winded introduction or anything. Keep it short and simple. Like I said, it's just an exercise in self-confidence. Chances are you'll never see the girl again.

If she responds negatively, shrug and walk away. Like I said above, you'll probably never see her again and if she can't take a compliment from a stranger, that's her beef.

I'm totally serious, this little challenge can raise your levels of confidence. It worked for me. Try it! I dare you!

----Steve

It would probably be good for building his confidence, but he shouldn't make it a permanent habit to compliment them. In my experience (and that of many others), complimenting them does make them feel good about themselves, but it's also a turn-off to them. On the other hand, complimenting yourself in a funny, down to earth manner does seem to make them like you.

Once he gets his confidence up, he should make sure to only compliment women like his sister or whoever, but to avoid doing it with girls who he wants to date

 

[Wyrm]

Also Okna, you shouldn't feel that you need a girlfriend. If you feel that way, then it could mean that there's just a part of you that's empty inside. As long as us men are able to get food, shelter, social interaction, and sex, that's really all that we need.

My humble advice is start thinking about who you are, what inspires you, what is it that you can find pride in, what culture, ethnicity, ideology, or belief system you'd like to belong to, and how you can change to improve all areas of your life. IMO, your goal should be to become a strong, self-respecting man. Romantic relationships shouldn't be a goal. They're really just something that happen. I used to be this way, but I realized that my desire for a girlfriend was really just an attempt to fill on something else inside of me that was empty.

As far as women go, forget girlfriends and just focus on getting random pussy. As men, we need sex, but we don't actually need a relationship (at least not men our age). I personally think that if you try to adopt this independent frame of mind, then things will come together for you in ways you'd never expect

I hope this helps, and good luck to you!!

 

[Badjedidude]

As far as women go, forget girlfriends and just focus on getting random pussy.

For the most part, I disagree, dude. I think that having a relationship and getting relationship experience when young is a good idea. You don't want to end up in your mid-thirties, just figuring out how to actually romance a woman and treat her like a person (and not "random pussy").

I do agree that it's good for a guy to "sow his oats" for a while...just having sex with chicks to gain experience, confidence, and an idea of what sort of woman he may want in the future...but don't carry it too far. I think romance and intimacy (of the non-sexual type) are just as important to men as to women.

Sorry, and no offense, but the view that men are OK with only food, beer, buddies, and sex is just shallow. I think that guys need that close romantic relationship...just perhaps not quite as early or as strongly as women do. Our society programs only women to be romantically focused, but in reality men are as well.

You ARE right about a man not NEEDING a girlfriend to define who he is, though. If a guy "needs" a woman to make him feel like he has a normal place in society, then something's wrong. A woman should only be an add-on, a pleasant bonus to a man's life.

----Steve

 

[Wyrm]

As far as women go, forget girlfriends and just focus on getting random pussy.

For the most part, I disagree, dude. I think that having a relationship and getting relationship experience when young is a good idea. You don't want to end up in your mid-thirties, just figuring out how to actually romance a woman and treat her like a person (and not "random pussy").

I do agree that it's good for a guy to "sow his oats" for a while...just having sex with chicks to gain experience, confidence, and an idea of what sort of woman he may want in the future...but don't carry it too far. I think romance and intimacy (of the non-sexual type) are just as important to men as to women.

Sorry, and no offense, but the view that men are OK with only food, beer, buddies, and sex is just shallow. I think that guys need that close romantic relationship...just perhaps not quite as early or as strongly as women do. Our society programs only women to be romantically focused, but in reality men are as well.

You ARE right about a man not NEEDING a girlfriend to define who he is, though. If a guy "needs" a woman to make him feel like he has a normal place in society, then something's wrong. A woman should only be an add-on, a pleasant bonus to a man's life.

----Steve

No offense taken, I understand that not everyone thinks like I do.

I say all of this because the mentality of not caring about having a girlfriend will, right now, help him out A LOT.

I guess my post was misunderstood, and I should have made myself more clear. It's OK for a guy to be open to a relationship, but it isn't necessary at my age or his. I disagree with you on what you say that it's important for men too. Deep down, girls want a strong and emotionally independent guy who just does his own thing. I don't know if that's true for older men and women, but it does seem to ring true for girls and guys in their early 20's.

What I meant by "random pussy" is that he should have sex with different girls, not that he shouldn't treat them like people. On the contrary, he must simply treat a girl like a normal, regular person in order to succeed with her, and not like some pure goddess of beauty who is above him....... girls aren't perfect either.... they each have their own personality flaws, disgusting habits, physical imperfections etc.

Plus, us men just see females in a certain way. Even though women are human, we like to see and touch their boobs, vaginas, asses etc. Women are concerned about this meaning that men see them as "objects" or a "piece of meat," but I think they are just interpreting it negatively. It's as natural for men to be "perverted" and visually attracted to women as it is for women to get their periods, get emotional sometimes, cry about minor things etc. As hard as feminists and certain, uhhh "holy" people, can try, they can't change how mother-nature nature made us.

I really don't think that there's anything wrong with just being happy with food, buddies, sex, having fun etc (I can't comment on the beer thing, as I don't drink). Life is meant to be enjoyed, and when a special girl for us comes along, then we see what happens. He shouldn't be concerned with becoming involved in a relationship because, when he starts to focus on improving himself and the non-romantic areas of his life, then it will come to him. Girlfriends just aren't something that you can reach for. A serious relationship is just something that happens, most often when we are busy enjoying our lives and not looking for love.

That's just my perspective anyway.

 

[Badjedidude]

What I meant by "random pussy" is that he should have sex with different girls, not that he shouldn't treat them like people. On the contrary, he must simply treat a girl like a normal, regular person in order to succeed with her

Thanks for clarifying. Sometimes on the internet it's hard to tell if someone is being shallow or concise.

Yeah, I agree that guys need a period of sexual activity and freedom in their early teens...I was just emphasizing that I believe that men need that romance & relationship also. The same with the beer & sex stuff. *shrug* I just think that there's more out there to make a life more full. There's nothing WRONG with that stuff, but that's not all there is, either...there is a deeper experience that can be found in having a close, romantic relationship, that's what I was trying to say.

Ya know, I'm startin' to think you're a cool dude, Hadrurus. Ya speak your mind clearly and plainly. Keep it up.

----Steve

 

[Wyrm]

Thanks. I just try to speak my mind even though it may not reflect the popular opinion of whatever forum or social circle I'm in. I do make an effort to be fair and to keep other peoples' feelings in mind, but I do it without changing or sugarcoating what I have to say.

 

[Pradir]

I am 19 years old and I'm never had a girlfriend. I feel sadness and loneliness. I want to cuddle, to be appreciated and have a loving girlfriend. I have a few friends - no option to know a girl by a friend. I met a PUA, but it did not solve my problems. Approaches can in the street, a bus, but there is not enough time to build interest. A few minutes is not enough. I used the law of attraction, and nothing. From his face I'm pretty, but I am very short 164.

Seduction in the clubs is not for me because I'm not who you go to the club and parents will not let me alone. I can not dance and I feel bad for yourself when the room is a lot of people speaking up.

I go to technical school, and there is little girls. There are sports classes, and I'm in the shade of a well-built and athletic boys.


Bothers me is the fact that 17 year olds have a girlfriend and I have not.

Where can I meet an intelligent, mature girl?

I'm 21, I've also never had a girlfriend.

I can't give you many answers... I can give you some questions though

Perhaps you could first ask yourself... is it absolutly necessary for you to have a girlfriend now? I'm quite sure that if you stop worrying about it and you do your stuff, you'll feel a bit less lonely, and less sad...

I do my own stuff, and that's how it is.

Now, I won't say you'll find your girl eventually. Those words are like "wait and the beautiful mermaid will pop out of the sea for you"... riiiight.

However... opportunities are constantly there. You must first know what you want. Then you must be sure that's what you want. Then you go straight forward, with confidence. The rest well... there's some luck in it, what can I add... I've been chasing girls who were already in a relationship, or were just totally clueless... it can happen. But they aren't all like that. That's why you can't just drop it, and tell yourself it's never gonna happen, that you want to feel that same affection you see the other young fellows around you feel.

Well you want it, sure. Stop dreaming about it, and go get it. Confidence...

Bah.

Either way, don't feel too bad because it never happenned. It might be a debate subject, but personnally, I find relationships too random to be called a necessity... I don't want to scare you, you make your choices, I make mines... but I think there are other things in life than this, heart breaking concept. You don't have to suffer

 

[?uest Love]

honestly man. don't let the fact that a 17 year olds are in relationships while you aint. I use to think like that, but i began to realize these people were at the right place at the right time. The girl i currently like is dating a balding loser, which amazes me. But that's life. I never had a serious GF yet either. I guess the only thing you can do is get use to not having one. At the same time you should be more active in making friends and networking. I feel like alot of relationships start because of networking through friends.

 

[Badjedidude]

The girl i currently like is dating a balding loser

Well obviously she doesn't think he's a loser, or she wouldn't be with him. Move on, dude.

----Steve

 

[PoWer2tHePeOpLE]

he isn't balding, his face just goes back a long way