I'm not sure what to do with my mementos.

[Ready RSG]

So, earlier I wrote a letter. To my girlfriend. I posted it on the forum. She died long ago from accident.

I know its stupid to post something like that but for some reason it makes me feel better to know that someone else read it or is going to read it and that everything I wanted to say isn't all bottled up inside.

I've been secretly mourning her loss for years. I just don't want anybody to know I'm still bothered by it. I met her my freshman year of high school she died shortly after I graduated.We were living together for a few months. Recently I found some old pictures I took of her. I've been wondering is it okay to keep them.I've been mourning her longer than I've actually known her the 7th anniversary of her death will be this summer.

Should I delete the pictures? just the idea of getting rid of them feels like a betrayal. Like throwing away our time. Its my only physical evidence that we were together. I'm still carrying a pendant from a old necklace she wore. I know I should move on but what is moving on? I accept she's gone. I'm alive. She is dead. Keeping these mementos makes me feel mixed emotions. Happiness, sadness, loneliness and nostalgia. I'm not sure what to do.

 

[Regumika]

If you were dead, what would you want your living girlfriend do?

 

[Despicable Me]

You would be crazy not to mourn her, to keep those momentos.
I read your letter. I think you should use those photos if you want. Your family shouldn't think you're crazy. Why would you be embarassed? Death is an extremely important thing to everyone.
They might think you're crazy not to mourn her, but they probably know you're still mourning and just doing it in your own way. Don't be afraid to let it show. It will only continue to hurt to hide it.

And, obviously I don't know either of you, but... There's no way she wouldn't be able to forgive you. It's not your fault. Things happen.

Moving on is not forgetting - it is cherishing.

 

[TheRealCallie]

There is nothing wrong with you still mourning her. Nothing wrong with still being bothered by her being gone. But are you letting it hold you back in life? She most likely wouldn't want you to waste away from the memory of her, to become isolated because of it. Now, I haven't read your other post yet, so I could be way off base with that.

As for the pictures, I would keep them. Maybe not all of them, but the special ones. She way a part of your life and from the way you talk in this post, a big part. You don't have to get rid of that. Just don't let it hold you back.

 

[Ready RSG]

You would be crazy not to mourn her, to keep those momentos.
I read your letter. I think you should use those photos if you want. Your family shouldn't think you're crazy. Why would you be embarassed? Death is an extremely important thing to everyone.
They might think you're crazy not to mourn her, but they probably know you're still mourning and just doing it in your own way. Don't be afraid to let it show. It will only continue to hurt to hide it.

And, obviously I don't know either of you, but... There's no way she wouldn't be able to forgive you. It's not your fault. Things happen.

Moving on is not forgetting - it is cherishing.

I don't blame myself. I was trying to be romantic and nonchalantly made a stupid promise. Then she died and a romantic promise became a filthy lie. It was supposed to be a sweet moment but now its a bitter memory.I learned the hard way little boys shouldn't make promises even a man can't keep.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I have a shoebox filled with things my first love gave to me. He too died in an accident. It's under my bed. I have a book of poetry he gave to me on my bed itself. I've not read it before. Looking forward to finally reading it.

(hugs)

It is difficult, but keeping these things is no different than keeping her in your heart. She will always be there.

 

[Despicable Me]

I don't blame myself. I was trying to be romantic and nonchalantly made a stupid promise. Then she died and a romantic promise became a filthy lie. It was supposed to be a sweet moment but now its a bitter memory.I learned the hard way little boys shouldn't make promises even a man can't keep.

You might not be blaming yourself for her death, but you're blaming yourself for making that promise. And you're blaming yourself for the 'life choices' you said she might not agree with.
Let those things go. Forgive yourself, because she isn't around to be the one to forgive you anymore.

Promises aren't always kept. It's not stupid, it is part of life. It's part of moving on.
You must understand you did your best to keep that promise. It wasn't your fault. You could not have been with her every moment of every day.

Maybe I'm wrong, maybe it just seems to me like you're blaming yourself. But the ways you are posting sound to me like internal resentment. If so, you can't move on until you realize she would not have wanted you to feel pain over that promise, over your choices since then.
Once you realize this, you can finally move on and make something of yourself that you think she would have been proud of.

 

[Mouse]

Keep the pictures; you may want to see them again sometime. You can still live those precious moments like I do on occasion. I find the pictures comforting even after those that I loved have long gone.

 

[Ready RSG]

Everyone thank you for the kind words. It's been years and I thought I was ok. It's just those pictures of her. Especially just this one picture in particular she's making a seductive smile normally you have to pay a model to smile like that. Or a girl will take a selfie smiling like that for the whole internet. In that picture she's posing and smiling for no one but me. She let me take a compromising picture of her because I wanted it. It's like photographic evidence of her love and trust in me. It just brings up old feelings.