I'm so confused...I want to know if it's okay to be alone.

[baddleebadd]

Hello,

My name is Ron, and I want to understand more about loneliness.

I feel like a lonely individual, I try to be nice all the time, and sometimes put on an act that I'm really funny or a loud jester type, so I could attract more friends and people, but on the inside I'm a bit deeper and talk about deeper and more important things. Whenever I show the real me, folks get really distant and wait for the jester to come out.

There have been those who say they enjoy the real me and say they'd stick by me, but as time passes I see them fade away, and hardly even acknowledge I'm around either visiting or logging on to a chatroom or a chatting mechanism known as steam, and if I try to talk to me, they'd disregard what I said or ignore something I tell them, and then two hours later will say or reiterate the same thing I've shown or told them. I don't like feeling the way I do when this happens, and I know some of them don't mean it, but I know there's something about me that causes this, and there's no fixing it.

I admit, I'm lonely, and I'm going to stay lonely for a long time...I want to know the positives of being alone, all I hear are negatives.

 

[whispers]

Beeing lonely is a negative feeling, a difference with beeing solitair.. i think is better because the person likes beeing alone. I am like that sometimes, i like one on one interactions and the person need s to be on the same lenghtwave as me to keep me as a friend (i dont like gossips or eternal victims)

Lonelyness can be a time of introspection, keep a journal, write how you feel, how you feel about yourself and others, where do you want to be in 1 year, 5 years 10 years. Set goals. What can you do to make your life better, are you seeking friendship in the wrong group of people ? So much to do when your lonely, nice time to learn guitar, take classes, try a new hobby. Wow feel like im talking to myself lol
take care

 

[baddleebadd]

Beeing lonely is a negative feeling, a difference with beeing solitair.. i think is better because the person likes beeing alone. I am like that sometimes, i like one on one interactions and the person need s to be on the same lenghtwave as me to keep me as a friend (i dont like gossips or eternal victims)

Lonelyness can be a time of introspection, keep a journal, write how you feel, how you feel about yourself and others, where do you want to be in 1 year, 5 years 10 years. Set goals. What can you do to make your life better, are you seeking friendship in the wrong group of people ? So much to do when your lonely, nice time to learn guitar, take classes, try a new hobby. Wow feel like im talking to myself lol
take care

Bless you for responding to me and sharing so much with me. I am a little sad to know that lonliness is always negative, and when I am alone I do try to find supplementary means to enjoy my time here on earth. I just can't understand why everyone always drift away from me, even after they say things like they're my friend. This has been going on all my life, and it hurts every time. I was hoping that this happening would have okay outcomes out of it.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

The best part of being alone. Is the fact that you can do whatever you want. For instance, I am on a pretty strict diet. Being alone, I never have to worry about people pressuring me to break the diet or anything like that. I can follow it to the letter. I do not have to consider other people's feelings, tastes or allergies.

Another great thing about being alone. I can do whatever I want with my time. For instance, last night there was a midnight release for a video game. Since I was up I figured I would go. I do not have to worry about anyone whining about me not including them or waking them up or anything like that. Same with my gym schedule. Go when I want to go. I do not have to care about birthdays or other such events guilt tripping me into skipping.

My favorite thing is not having to worry about whether or not I am monopolizing the TV, Computer, or video games. I can lie around and play all day and no one cares. I am also a fan of not having to worry about being clothed either. I do not have to worry about whether or not I am wearing pants when I walk around my place. That is nice, Sometimes you just need to be naked.

Oh yeah, if I don't want to clean no one is affected. I do not have to put up with someone whining about how lazy I am. On the flip side when I want to clean. I do not have to worry about the method to my madness being messed up.

You have friends and/or mates. You do not get these luxuries.

 

[570rm47]

Hey man i can identify with that feeling of separation whether its intellect or personality or just because i smell weird and i dont know it i have never figured out. I have tried being someone im not to get friends but they were not really friends with the real me, sometimes people say i make them edgy and uncomfortable. My good friends the ones i have had for years tell me that your one of a kind, your not weird just different, they broke the mold after you were made. I have made peace with it but still feel apart from everyone. Sorry cant offer any advice i can only tell you that your not alone.

 

[kamya]

This always helps me.
[video=youtube]

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@kamya: I love hypocritical movies. I highly doubt that girl hired professionals to come out and shoot a movie and write music for her just so she could have a youtube video.

If you are going to make a movie about being alone. Make sure it at least looks like you are alone. Like when I was in high school and had to make a movie for class. I made a stop motion movie with toys. Because I had no friends. You could tell I had no friends or resources. The camera angles sucked, the motions did not line up, the lighting suck, there was little to no action.

I mean it would not have been hard to simulate being alone. However, a tactless person who does not realize this does not deserve my attention. This is no better than your friend who is always around people making new friends, girlfriends, acquaintances, etc. Telling you that it is ok to be alone.

I doubt the person who made that video has ever been truly alone.

 

[sunshinemisa]

@whispers:you are a very wise person, with good advice.

It's okay to be alone if you are okay and comfortable with it. I asked the very same question to my therapist and that's the answer I got which made me feel better knowing that it wasn't weriod.

When I was working, I couldn't wait to get away from work sometimes just so that I could be alone and have some peace and solitude. Nwow that I'm not working, I just want to be around people...lol sometimes you can't win them all.

When you are lonely, remember don't change the way you are just to fit in. You'll end up getting hurt and I wouldn't want that for you. You are unique, we all are and the friends that do stay, will cherish that uniqueness.

take care

 

[kamya]

@AFrozenSoul: Most of the points you brought up in your first post about why you don't mind being alone are things that are said in the video. Basically, freedom to do whatever you want without worrying about pleasing others. Just because this person wasn't alone the very second that the video was produced doesn't mean they've never experienced being truly alone. Either way, this video does a good job of reminding me of the good things that come with being alone.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@kamya: Well you know it is just a thought. Most lonely people are not as critical as me... then again.. most lonely people do not have a website where they force themselves to be critical.