I'm soo lonelyyyyy and I want to learn how to live with it

[Dream]

Hi everybody .. I'm 33 girl well educated and good looking..well at least I think I used to be ..may be I am still ..dunno!
I'm soo lonelyyyyy and I want to learn how to live with it..
I work a looooooottttt..have a lot of professional commitments and no single close friend ... I hate my life but i'm not suicidal...I want to learn how to feel happy being lonely!!! It seems to me I've been created to stay on my own..
Anyone like me? Anyone can tell me what to do more that use all my time from 8 am to 12 pm....

Thanks in advance for all your responses and care to reply..

 

[Phaedron]

It takes a lot to remain lonely, but it is the truth of existence. We are born alone, we die alone, and we are alone in our thoughts, our feelings, and our impressions of the past and present. Willing, but unable to accurately communicate the full depth of our experiences, we invite mere perceptions of who we are. Lonliness expresses the pain of being alone, while Solitude expresses it's glory. You can learn to have or be your own little world. If you want to be happy alone, you need to find ways to have fun when you're alone. There are many things that are fun, and only fun, when your alone.

You were created to follow your path, you found a time of loneliness there. Perhaps learning the many things that Solitude teaches will graduate you from this point or reveal a new doorway for opportunity. And we were made to change. Your relations with others are episodes in your life, but few are permanent and even the ones that are eventually die. Consider that to be true with another and anchor ones heart against the natural inclinations of change is a great deal more difficult then you can imagine. A relationship that survives that long, is a strong one indeed.

So as you can see, whatever you do, and whoever you interact with, it all comes back down to you in the very end. You are an independent lonely intelligence in the midst of space, but within your solitude you may come to understand the mind of a creator.

"I have the two qualities you require to see absolute truth. I am brilliant, and unloved." -miss Evangelista in "Forest of the Dead."

 

[marfles7]

Hi everybody .. I'm 33 girl well educated and good looking..well at least I think I used to be ..may be I am still ..dunno!
I'm soo lonelyyyyy and I want to learn how to live with it..
I work a looooooottttt..have a lot of professional commitments and no single close friend ... I hate my life but i'm not suicidal...I want to learn how to feel happy being lonely!!! It seems to me I've been created to stay on my own..
Anyone like me? Anyone can tell me what to do more that use all my time from 8 am to 12 pm....

Thanks in advance for all your responses and care to reply..

You more or less remind me of me. The whole "i'm successful yet too lonely" creeps me out sometimes. I've seen so many gorgeous and successful women out there who simply can't fine "the one" and spend most of their lives alone. I love to see Robyn Roberts in Good Morning America, or Lauren Graham (Gilmore Girls), and many others who i see how sucessful they are and yet, living a single life. And yes, i do wonder how they do it.

I don't have the secret to happiness, but here's what i do, i have many hobbies and things i love to do, and the reason why i do them is because i'm alone. If i had a partner, things would be different or at least with some adjustment. But the thing is to find something you do that fills your mind with positive thoughts about your life. To be happy with your life the way it is and not just being waiting for some Superman to come and fix it. Cause he may come, but what if he doesn't stick around forever? or he screws it up? There goes your happy life again! I don't know how to explain it but i know for sure i don't want my happiness to depend on whether there's someone in my life or not.

 

[AndrewM]

Finding a partner is one thing, making friends is another. I agree with Marfles that you shouldn't expect your happiness to come from someone who will just turn up one day. But I don't think it's worth it trying to be happy without friends - unless your circumstances really make it impossible. At least give a shot. Is there any way you can make friends outside of your professional relationships? If you find it really difficult to interact with people socially, have you considered seeking advice from a therapist? There might be some unresolved issues to do with your family history which are preventing you from being as successful socially as you are professionally.

 

[acommoner]

The choices you make are your own, if you like to make lots of money then keep what you are doing, do you want kids? a husband? friends? these things arent for people that work everyday from 8-12.

Either you choose to work less, or find another job that involves less hours so you can make a social life or you keep doing as you do and find someone who works as much as you do, but keep in mind, its not a good enviroment to raise children in.

The options are yours, either you keep doing as you do now and you will be lonely or choose drastic measures and go for option 2, another job less hours , more time for yourself and others. You cant have both.

Status and money is important in this life, but they wont get you real friend or man that loves you for who you are, besides, who can get to know you when you live for your work instead of working for a life?

 

[edgecrusher]

more often than not it feels like i am supposed to and will be alone my whole life. as for living with it, ill let you know if i ever figure that out.

 

[Sand Dollar]

The 12 step community has helped me enourmously. It helps you forget yourself and you can pick annd choose friends. You don;t have to be alone. Honestly! We never are completely alone, we have the creative force of the universe always with us!
Volunteer, join a group or book club you might like. I'm sure your a worthwhile and wonderful person. Don't deny us all of your presence! You may change lives and have yours changed in the process!

Best,

SD

 

[Badjedidude]

Feel free to PM me at any time, Dream. And welcome to the site.

 

[Aksy]

Start thinking that you are not lonely , thinking negative only leads to negative events. Try a hobby , one in which you can express yourself it could help. Just block those thoughts their just not good for you and they make you feel more and more unable to do something. Get a pet , a dog is good because it needs allot of exercise so you can get out , go in the park or anywhere you like and enjoy it. Sometimes it helps thinking about how other people are , think of people that strive to live from a day to another with no food or shelter or other type of persons ( I don't like to think about other people that way but it can help some people to know others suffer more ).Maybe these wont necessary help you with your social life , but they can help make you have a better thinking about this loneliness . If you want to talk more about this or anything else PM me and I'm here for you.

 

[coricopat]

I'm not sure you can be happy being lonely, but you can be alone and still happy. Your job keeps you busy, and that's good if you like your job. Do you? Also, you've GOT to have something outside of work to keep you interested. Friends, a pet, or a hobby. Even if you love your job, you need a break from it now and again.

Feel free to PM me. We're of similar age and gender, at least.