I'm "surrounded" by happy people!!

[marigold]

How it always comes like that.. Everywhere I look... FUCKIN' HAPPY PEOPLE !! I'm sorry that I say that but I'm tired.. tired to look at their happy faces and happy smiles and see them being just so beautiful and happy !! I'm sorry I sound like honeysuckle but I wanna be happy too !! In the same time, I'm doing my best to help this fuckin' planet inspite of my depression and loneliness while they just jumping around so smiley and so happy and so carefree!! Ok, YEAH HELL, I'M JELAOUS !! But not the way I don't wanna they be happy, I just wanna be happy too!! I wanna be beautiful !! When I'm happy I am beautiful indeed and I like myself !! But everyday I can see my tired ugly fuckin' face in the mirror and I.. just hate it !! And when I see a photo with a beautiful girl with a big smile (pretty sure the smile and therefore the happiness made it like that) and I'm not talking about some stupid models in magazines or such, I ask myself.. Why am I not like that?!! Where I went wrong ?!?! what the hell I did !! I've always tried to be a good person and to help others, whether people or animals, but I'm trying !! And finally I feel tired like honeysuckle, I'm ugly AND I WANNA DIE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMMIT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;(

P.S. Yeah, I know.. "just stop being like that.." Well, if you don't know, it's NOT THAT EASY !! THANKS !!

 

[perfanoff]

I know it's not easy, marigold! And it's fine to want to be happy. About not liking your face.. a lot of girls use cosmetics, do you?

Other than that it's a marathon of trying to put yourself in a situation that would make you happy.. I do wish you best of luck!

 

[Edward W]

Hi M, (can I call you M?)

We all want to be happy, it's not an unreasonable thought to have. There is no magic answer, sadly I'm not the mystical figure from 'Always Tomorrow' that can provide that solution.

But you know what, I bet you're not ugly, not to someone else. I'm not the best looking guy on the planet, I have an internal image of myself that I hope is what other people really see, maybe they do, maybe they don't.

In the meantime I love myself, I know I'm not 100% perfect, (around 90%-ish maybe ), I find things to do that mean something to me, I listen to songs that inspire me and lift my spirits, read books that give hope, which to quote something a friend once gave me, 'I know the books I read will never win any prizes, but they deserve to. They restore faith in people, and that’s what really matters.' Don't allow the negative thoughts to take hold, become a cancer on your soul.

Do things for YOU, make that choice to be the person you want to be, it sounds like maybe you already are.

Thats me anyway, and do you know what? I found people who love me, the imperfect, sometimes annoying me. Amazing!

If people can love me, there's hope for us all.

I hope this is a postive post for you, I'm concentrating on that today.

Feel free to PM me if you want.

 

[Regumika]

There is a lot of misconception about 'happy people'. Not that happy people do not exist, they do. But in the society, of so many judgmental people around, people tend to 'pretend' to be perfect. Let's face it, then moment others know about your fault/weakness, they will start to pick on you, or distant themselves from you. People don't have time to deal with that kind of stuff.

But there is no way that many people have good lives. a lot of them are pretending. Just like how when people see you, they wouldnt guess you have trouble in certain areas, right? its not something you share just with anyone. So, pretend.

No, im not saying for you to pretend. im just saying that people really arent as happy as you think they are. and with that, hopefully this will help you realize that you arent alone, and that everyone is dealing with their own problems. it's okay to ask for help, it's okay to fall down, it's okay to feel sad. just get up and keep moving, even if slowly.

 

[marigold]

perfanoff, thanks for the advice but that sounds pretty silly, don't you think?!?!? It seems you don't really get the problem here.. I'm not talking about fuckin' cosmetics and when I mean my face is ugly, I mean when I'm depressed and tired !! I'm actually pretty beautiful girl and I never used cosmetics AND THAT WON'T SOLVE MY FUCKIN' PROBLEM !!!!!!!!!!!!! thanks

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oh my god.... it seems no one got the problem here!!!!!! My problem is that I'm depressed which makes me ugly !!!!! REASON = DEPRESSED, UGLY = RESULT !!!!! WHAT'S THE DILEMA HERE ?!?!?!??!

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oh my god.... HOW IT SOUNDS THAT I ALREADY AM ?!?!?!?!? WHERE IN MY MESSAGE YOU READ THAT ?!?!?!?!??! PEOPLE !!!!!!!!!!! TAKE OFF YOUR FUCKIN' PINK GLASSES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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NOW YOU CAN HATE ME FOR WHAT I SAID I DON'T CARE, I'M TIRED OF LISTENING BULLSHITS AND ADVICES ABOUT "POSITIVE THOUGHTS" !!!!!!!! ARE YOU FUCKIN' KIDDIN' ME....

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Thats me anyway, and do you know what? I found people who love me, the imperfect, sometimes annoying me. Amazing!

OH HOW SWEET !! GOOD FOR YA PAL !!!! I HAVEN'T GOT THOSE PEOPLE !!!!!!!!!!! IN FACT I AM ALONE !!!!! YOU HEAR ?!?!?!??!!? A-L-O-N-E LIKE HELL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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NOW YOU ALL CAN HATE ME.. C'MON.. DON'T BE SHY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M USED TO IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAVE A GOOD DAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Regumika, THANK YOU !! That's the most sensible answer I've read here.. Finally someone who is saying something reasonable and doesn't talk about make up or positive thoughts!! BIG THANKS AND HUG !!!!!!!!

 

[Regumika]

im sorry marigold if i was unable to answer correctly to your post..

you want to fix ugly, caused by depression. what causes the depression? (from your original post i assumed that it was because other people look so happy and that you feel you arent happy). but it seems that is not the reason for your depression.

so, the first step is to pinpoint the cause of depression. loneliness? which, you have come to the right place. make some friends. you can be friends with me, for example.

 

[Edward W]

OH HOW SWEET !! GOOD FOR YA PAL !!!! I HAVEN'T GOT THOSE PEOPLE !!!!!!!!!!! IN FACT I AM ALONE !!!!! YOU HEAR ?!?!?!??!!? A-L-O-N-E LIKE HELL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay.

The point I was trying to make is that I didn't always have those people.

We were only trying to help, only knowing about you from the couple of paragraphs posted.

 

[perfanoff]

Marigold, this is even better for you. There's actually lot of people, even in THIS forum, for who it is physically very hard to look attractive. And there is nothing silly by taking the "I see an ugly person in the mirror" literally. I am different from you and I'm not in your mind or know the things you do.

You certainly don't need to foul-mouth me though. I don't deserve this attitude from you especially since I was trying to support you. I will ask you the following question: if you treat everyone like you just acted towards me, how do you expect not to be lonely? Have you not considered I also have emotions and feelings, or you realize that but you plainly couldn't care less?

 

[ladyforsaken]

marigold, we know you're depressed.. and sick and tired of it all. A lot of people on this site are as well. But what the other posters above did were to try find out more and see how else they can help. Also, you can't expect other people to understand what you're going through, because we're not you - unless someone really has gone through depression like yours. The thing is, these people would've either seen this thread and not know how to respond, or not seen this thread and is trying to deal with their own.

You're feeling so depressed and all that. But what are you doing about it? Or what have you done or tried to deal with this?

 

[Among the Sleep]

Alright look...we're not professional psychologists, we're doing the best we can. And not for nothing but if you used a few less exclamation points and "misplaced quotation marks" people might actually have an inkling as to what you're talking about. And you can't expect anyone to sympathize with you when you chastise them for making a sincere effort to give you advice.

The people here, for the most part, are good people who all have their own issues. So we're here to help. But you come across as really self absorbed. You're doing your best to "help this fuckin planet in spite of your depression"? Being nice to people and animals? What an inspiration you are. A heroine, even...who's your arch nemesis? Will you be Captain America's sidekick in the next movie? I don't know you from a hole in the wall but I feel like people probably find you really melodramatic, and your self obsession draining. I wanna give you some more practical advice, but honestly, I've read your post 3 times and I'm still not 100% sure what you're getting at. The fact that you see yourself as this soldier-for-good martyr surrounded by care free, happy people is very strange to me. The sad sack, victim routine is just irritating.

 

[Unwanted94]

I swear some of those happy people are ******* delusional. I ******* swear. I always get very curious when I see someone who appears to be very happy and carefree. It really makes me wonder....

 

[blackdot]

There is a lot of misconception about 'happy people'. Not that happy people do not exist, they do. But in the society, of so many judgmental people around, people tend to 'pretend' to be perfect. Let's face it, then moment others know about your fault/weakness, they will start to pick on you, or distant themselves from you. People don't have time to deal with that kind of stuff.

Also people you think are "happy" may not actually be happy. They may just be good at making it look that way.
I know in real life I have had people tell me that I seem so happy and outgoing and they are jealous that I am that way.

 

[Edward W]

People are not always happy, I can be happy and then sad just a few minutes later.

 

[randomdude]

Most of them aren't happy that happiness you see is they mask most of the time. People know me as the happiest person ever but they would never guess that i wish i never existed while i am being happy all the time infront of people, not that i am a faker and poser but i simply don't want everyone to know my problems just by seeing my mood.

 

[SolitarySol]

How it always comes like that.. Everywhere I look... FUCKIN' HAPPY PEOPLE !! I'm sorry that I say that but I'm tired.. tired to look at their happy faces and happy smiles and see them being just so beautiful and happy !! I'm sorry I sound like honeysuckle but I wanna be happy too !! In the same time, I'm doing my best to help this fuckin' planet inspite of my depression and loneliness while they just jumping around so smiley and so happy and so carefree!! Ok, YEAH HELL, I'M JELAOUS !! But not the way I don't wanna they be happy, I just wanna be happy too!! I wanna be beautiful !! When I'm happy I am beautiful indeed and I like myself !! But everyday I can see my tired ugly fuckin' face in the mirror and I.. just hate it !! And when I see a photo with a beautiful girl with a big smile (pretty sure the smile and therefore the happiness made it like that) and I'm not talking about some stupid models in magazines or such, I ask myself.. Why am I not like that?!! Where I went wrong ?!?! what the hell I did !! I've always tried to be a good person and to help others, whether people or animals, but I'm trying !! And finally I feel tired like honeysuckle, I'm ugly AND I WANNA DIE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMMIT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;(

P.S. Yeah, I know.. "just stop being like that.." Well, if you don't know, it's NOT THAT EASY !! THANKS !!

I'd like to give you a big virtual hug. I was in the same situation, where I couldn't see anything nice about me. Other girls were always prettier, despite being told I have a beautiful smile. You wouldn't believe it but I can feel your soul. It's beautiful and magnificent.

 

[Gena]

Sometimes it seems that no happiness comes to your way. I guess we all know that feeling.
But Marigold, it seems to me that you are at least trying to make someone else happy. And probably you have already. In my opinion, that is a good reason to feel happy: to do something that is significant and meaningful. Beautiful is as beautiful does, you know?

So maybe it is that you feel like you aren't appreciated for what you do? It is sure hard to stay positive if you feel you aren't getting what you deserve. And people are just so thoughtless sometimes; they just take their way without saying thank you.
Remember, at those moments you still deserve to be appreciated. If nobody else thanks you, do it yourself.
And remember to appreciate every smallest good thing that happens to you. It's worth a try! Even if it's nothing more than a nice hot bath or a smile from a stranger, be happy about it. This world is built of small things, and they mean the most.

And when all the rest of the world seems happier than you, it may help to stop comparing yourself to others for a little while and say to yourself, "Hi there. You are beautiful."

 

[DeadSun]

First off, you're clearly drunk and you need to lay off the sauce. Only you can save forest fires and all that...

Second, I kinda know what you mean, about the whole not happy = ugly, if you're ugly you can't be happy. ( which I'm assuming might involve a relationship or rather the lack of one, at least that's how I am, I don't really know though. If I'm wrong feel free to send me a PM thoroughly explaining it, as I really love hate mail).
I'm sort of the same except I always think I'm ugly, its more like miserable and not miserable. I'm miserable when I'm single, single because I'm miserable. Circle of life and all that honeysuckle.

Third, have you REALLY looked at EVERYONE while out in public lately? Sure sometimes its a happy couple hugging and kissing with their little kids running around them like little rays of sunshine while they reflect upon how much they love life whilst you look on as if some sort of ghastly specter devoid of any and all happiness.
But there's also some (or alot, depending on location) really...not great/happy/"beautiful people hobbling around.
just saying it could be alot better, but it could be alot worse. like not having arms or something. just try to remember sometimes when you're feeling really down "Hey, at least I have these sweet ass arms."

Fourth, you don't have to do charity or save three legged cats from burning trees, and even if you do its not necessarily gonna make you happy and/or make people/someone give two fucks about you, no matter how "selflessly" you live your life, or attempt to. So if you don't like it just fresia it.

Fifth, if you think you're ugly when you're not happy, you could always work on your pouty look. (I hear some guys are into it.)

TL;DR - I hate dogs and they hate me, but they started it.