S
ShybutHi
Guest
What is the point in life if you will inevitably be alone?
What if you do not want to live life alone?
Everyone is different, different desire's, different goals.
So I desire to be close to a nice woman. That is normal for a heterosexual male yes?
I feel the desire not for sex though... 25, never had a relationship and a virgin so I am past the teenage years of trying to get my end away and, for me, that was never in my personality to do in the first place. I am talking about having a bond with a special person who you can share life with. I am a bit of a sensitive and romantic guy who loves music and the arts... creative subjects are my thing and I get moved by a nice story. I am a musician who writes music, transcribes music and am also in a band but this is all for nothing really. I get really lonely and that sometimes shows itself in my compositions. Music is all I have but even that seem's pointless alot of the time. I am selfless and do things for others without hesitation, I have love for certain close friends and do what I can but I personally never knew and maybe never will know what it is like to feel loved, I am obviously not worth it.
That is probably why finding someone to be with is such a wonderful notion for me. I guess maybe I am one of those people they call a "Hopeless romantic". I see the grand fantasy in my mind's eye of finding a wonderful woman and sharing the connection of love, sharing lifes experience's, cuddling under the stars and it makes me weep with the realisation of it's impossibility.
What I would give to just be able to cuddle up to a girl who really actually appreciate's me for who I am if that is even possible. What I would give to have someone by my side to travel the world with, share the experience's of what life has to offer.
My life makes me feel even more alone every day. I have one friend who I hang out with because literally all of my friends now have partner's. I hardly ever even have people want to talk to me online, it is nearly always me who has to initiate. They have found someone to share life with. I am a quiet, introverted and a bit socially anxious type of person so I am not the best conversationalist in groups, people probably dont see me as a very interesting person and do not like my company.
My social group is one of people who are very nice people though. People who generally dont argue or ever create drama... They all despise drama like me and are loyal and moral people so most have been with their partner for many years, some married and some have kids.
So I sit in my house alone, watching people's story's and adventures they have had with their significant other's knowing that, because of my own personality and looks, that I will inevitably be alone forever.
Tormented by my own mind because of aspects of personality which I detest and because of seperation from a world of the living I struggle to find reason why suicide is not a viable option. In all honesty I think I would never do it... may aswell stick it out to the end unless things get even more difficult.
Maybe I was not born to find happiness and maybe there are other's on this forum who feel the same way about themselves. I will always be that type that lived life alone.
The tormented lonely introverted artist trying to find an impossible purpose.
What if you do not want to live life alone?
Everyone is different, different desire's, different goals.
So I desire to be close to a nice woman. That is normal for a heterosexual male yes?
I feel the desire not for sex though... 25, never had a relationship and a virgin so I am past the teenage years of trying to get my end away and, for me, that was never in my personality to do in the first place. I am talking about having a bond with a special person who you can share life with. I am a bit of a sensitive and romantic guy who loves music and the arts... creative subjects are my thing and I get moved by a nice story. I am a musician who writes music, transcribes music and am also in a band but this is all for nothing really. I get really lonely and that sometimes shows itself in my compositions. Music is all I have but even that seem's pointless alot of the time. I am selfless and do things for others without hesitation, I have love for certain close friends and do what I can but I personally never knew and maybe never will know what it is like to feel loved, I am obviously not worth it.
That is probably why finding someone to be with is such a wonderful notion for me. I guess maybe I am one of those people they call a "Hopeless romantic". I see the grand fantasy in my mind's eye of finding a wonderful woman and sharing the connection of love, sharing lifes experience's, cuddling under the stars and it makes me weep with the realisation of it's impossibility.
What I would give to just be able to cuddle up to a girl who really actually appreciate's me for who I am if that is even possible. What I would give to have someone by my side to travel the world with, share the experience's of what life has to offer.
My life makes me feel even more alone every day. I have one friend who I hang out with because literally all of my friends now have partner's. I hardly ever even have people want to talk to me online, it is nearly always me who has to initiate. They have found someone to share life with. I am a quiet, introverted and a bit socially anxious type of person so I am not the best conversationalist in groups, people probably dont see me as a very interesting person and do not like my company.
My social group is one of people who are very nice people though. People who generally dont argue or ever create drama... They all despise drama like me and are loyal and moral people so most have been with their partner for many years, some married and some have kids.
So I sit in my house alone, watching people's story's and adventures they have had with their significant other's knowing that, because of my own personality and looks, that I will inevitably be alone forever.
Tormented by my own mind because of aspects of personality which I detest and because of seperation from a world of the living I struggle to find reason why suicide is not a viable option. In all honesty I think I would never do it... may aswell stick it out to the end unless things get even more difficult.
Maybe I was not born to find happiness and maybe there are other's on this forum who feel the same way about themselves. I will always be that type that lived life alone.
The tormented lonely introverted artist trying to find an impossible purpose.
