Insecurities, guilt, low self esteem, etc

[Lawrens]

I'm not sure what it is, I've searched for a bit on emotional insecurity and I think this is the problem that I have. I'm kind of a control freak, even on the internet you could notice me edit my post a million times before actually stop tinkering with it, I care about what people think of me, I try to control that, and sometimes I do it too often that I think people gets the wrong impression of me, so then I try to manipulate and control that MORE so they don't get the wrong idea, it gets on my nerves sometimes, because if I'd just let it go, I feel uncomfortable.

This isn't a problem with strangers, but if I'm to talk to people I actually know a little better, this becomes a major problem and it's really distracting and perhaps hinders me from my ability to communicate. It's a mix of insecurities, guilt, and low self esteem.

Sometimes people suggested that I just need to be myself, but what is "myself", if I'm to not control what I speak, I'd be a ********* from all the negativity that I might have, but I feel like a hypocrite for just bottling up everything and act nice, but who wants to see someone acting like a lunatic and rant about everything?

I don't know if my post make sense, but I'm not sure what it is and I just want it to stop bugging me =P

 

[edgecrusher]

im the same way sometimes too. i edit my posts all the time if i notice something is spelled wrong. everything in my room has a place and i keep it neat, for a guy anyway. my dvds are in alphabetical order, that may just come from working at a movie store for over 9 years. when people use my stuff i kind of freak out in my mind and get uncomfortable like they are going to mess it up or not put it back the way it was. and that may just come from me not having a lot of things and having stuff stolen from me where i used to live. for me i just think its OCD.

 

[evanescencefan91]

Hey I can relate to much of the things you said, I went through a lot of this in high school, and I'm still working through it.
Also just let people or your friends know that you have a tenancy to struggle with control issues. This will help them to understand better, as well as they can try to help find solutions for it

It's really hard, but we are never the exact same person from time to time and we change over time.

It's hard try to relax try not to think so much about,

people are flaky and they come and they go. But this will be the case no matter who you are jock, prep nerd or trainwreck.

Either way you'll meet people with common interests sometimes you'll hit it off sometimes you won't

try to just take things as they come, you'll figure yourself out in time

life is not about the destination but the journey
a quest to discover new things about yourself
along your travels you'll encounter foes and winding dungeons sometimes you'll go in alone,
but I'm sure you'll find a handy archer or two,
perhaps a mage one purple one blue
berserker are a marvelous lot
be sure your potions are in stock
With my airship pimped out
we'll find any demons about
from the orcs to the final boss
our paths will crisscross

when your hp is low
and you've hit the final blow
there's no need to frown
I've got a phoenix down

through the convoluted storyline
we'll stress about our time
though it usually turns out fine
panic panic there's no need to panic
because our lives are ******* epic!

You know I'll cure you till my last MP
and there is no battle we'll flee
not until the princess is free
we'll save the world, you'll see

with a world map
we'll navigate life's highs and lows
rejoice my young chap
for life is fraught with hot chicks and chocobos!

XD

 

[Lawrens]

Thanks for the response edgecrusher and evan !

Thanks for the advice and loved the final fantasy/rpg poem lol.

people are flaky and they come and they go. But this will be the case no matter who you are jock, prep nerd or trainwreck.

Yea, putting it that way, that is kind of true.

 

[EveWasFramed]

*shrugs*

You are who you are. Everyone is different. The best you can do is to try and be happy with who you are, while making sure to try and not cause any harm to others in the process. That's just my two cents.

 

[Frodo Baggins]

There will never be another you and it is not the things that make you the same as everyone else that makes you memorable. A challenging view will be remembered. A different perspective, an alternative style or a unique laugh, or a individual worn out saying.

Take these unique things away and there id no Lawrens. There is a drone. A nohing. You don't want to strive for that.

We contrast each characters personality differences and faults and so on in The Lord of the rings and that is what makes them special to us. We do the same with our friends and family.

They will do it about you. Be thankful they will and embrace it.

 

[Lawrens]

Thanks! I think I feel a bit better about myself after making this topic, though my communication and social circle hasn't really increased or changed, but I've been trying to make myself happier other than trying to impress others forcing them to like me, if I don't even like myself or happy about myself, I don't think people would like me at all, if they don't like the current me, then there's nothing I could do, if that makes sense.

Not acting like I've gone through some kind of enlightenment but I think I could take it one step at a time with my hobbies and express myself through that, if I don't enjoy making things then I don't think I should talk about making people like me