Insidious Lies

[SophiaGrace]

I do not understand why we waste our times on bad self esteem. What good does it give to us? What burden does it lift from our shoulders? What wings does it give to us to lift us upwards from this gravity which nails our feet into the ground, forcing us to suffer for our self percieved sins of imperfection and inadequacy?

Would you be around a person who you hated? No. The simple answer is no. You would not be around this person, you'd cut off contact or slash their tires in expression of your unsavory feelings towards them.

So why do we insist on hating ourselves? Why do we persist in our estimations that we are worthless and unlovable? Why do we persist in our beliefs that our actions will be effective in bringing about nothing good, when in reality if we just didnt give up and kept trying we would eventually succeed.

Bad self-esteem is a lie.
Self-Hatred is a lie.
Complacency is a poison.
They are the lies of depression.
They are the lies which force us to bleed until our life-force is sucked out of us.
They will be the death of all our would-have beens.

 

[Danielle]

I think that is a great thought.... now to get rid of my low self esteem. I don't know how to do it.

I guess having had so many digs about my looks, my weight, and the fact that I have been single for over 5 years... and also, i can't seem to attract anyone to even look my way when I go out... has a lot to do with it. I dont care what others think.. but when I look at myself, I don't see anyone that is pretty or smart or attractive.

I will do the work, I don't want this low self esteem, and I don't want to hate myself... I just wish it were easy!

 

[shells]

“When we don't know who to hate, we hate ourselves.”

 

[SophiaGrace]

“When we don't know who to hate, we hate ourselves.”

That's an interesting quoute shells and i'm impressed that you managed to put it into forum code like that

---

I think that is a great thought.... now to get rid of my low self esteem. I don't know how to do it.

I guess having had so many digs about my looks, my weight, and the fact that I have been single for over 5 years... and also, i can't seem to attract anyone to even look my way when I go out... has a lot to do with it. I dont care what others think.. but when I look at myself, I don't see anyone that is pretty or smart or attractive.

I will do the work, I don't want this low self esteem, and I don't want to hate myself... I just wish it were easy!

Its ok if you dont know how, you learn along the way.

Oh and you are so much more than your looks. That's how I helped myself to "overcome" my disability, I realized that I am much more than my disability.

<hug>

 

[An archist]

I think that is a great thought.... now to get rid of my low self esteem. I don't know how to do it.

I guess having had so many digs about my looks, my weight, and the fact that I have been single for over 5 years... and also, i can't seem to attract anyone to even look my way when I go out... has a lot to do with it. I dont care what others think.. but when I look at myself, I don't see anyone that is pretty or smart or attractive.

I will do the work, I don't want this low self esteem, and I don't want to hate myself... I just wish it were easy!

Hey I think you're plenty sexy....I know it's not a competition, but I'd say your boobs are the crowing achievement of the boobies thread. E hai una faccia molto bella!

 

[Boss Jr.]

Low self esteem stems from negative reinforcement..... being told that you're not as good for whatever reason.

I'm not that tall and a little husky..... I'm thick but not really over weight by all that much. Not like that matters, didn't stop people from making fun of me. I mean honestly, it's not a great combination.

Not to mention having every guy around you being taller than you are helps you develop a serious inferiority complex..... which I also have. I mean, what girl wants to be with a guy shorter than her, and tall guys are better at sports and well, I could go on but I won't.....

The trick is to (if you have the chance) desensitise yourself to rejection. Not everyone is going to like you. If you don't know what to say in a situation, it's okay for you to not say anything at all. If someone calls you out on it, just be honest..... say "I wouldn't know." Be confident about it, it'll gain you respect. Talk to people about things you enjoy. If they don't share your interests..... talk to someone who does.

Besides, who's opinion matters more than your own. The key to getting other people to like you is to first like yourself. I can see how that would be easier said than done. I'm incredibly vain but I try not to let other people see it..... I doubt that matters though, I'm too transparent to hide it very well.

It doesn't matter, focus on what you do like about yourself. For instance, I've always liked my own eyes, they have alot of character and they're not just green or brown, but several colors layered within each other. It's neat, sometimes I'll study them in the mirror because they seem different every day .

Lastly, smile..... even when you don't feel like it, no, especially when you don't feel like it. It's hard to be depressed and smiling at the same time. Oh and watch something funny on YouTube lol.

Just some advice frome someone going through all the same things you are . Hope I helped.

 

[Danielle]

Soph, you are so right... I am way more than what I may look like.. I have to keep that in mind... (hug)

Arch, LOL thank you! A girl can't get enough compliments on her bewbs!

 

[AFrozenSoul]

>.> yes you cut them off... the only way to cut my brain off is with a gun.

You make a valid point... I will remember that. However, the main difference is that I cannot just like me... I have to make myself likeable... it is different than with a person. I mean yes I can try and change them... but where will that get me? I have to change me to like me..

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I used to do it becuase it had benifits.
Being sick, feeling bad about myself.
Having a broken heart...etc.I had a hell of a sob story to tell other women.
Alot of women used to take me home and wanna love me back to life or FIX me.
It worked for a while but ultimately it never solved any of my actaul problems. it actaully
created more problems becuase some of those women fell in love with me and I felt
guilty even more for hurting them. Bacailly I created more pains on top of pains.
In other words, I was drinking , partying, one night stands , lots of flings, messed up out of my fucken
mind. On the surface it looked like I really had my honeysuckle together becuase i was very socailable, had money
to burned, drove a fancy car, live in a nice house.
More alone the line of incomprehencible demorilizations for me or dillusional as some would say.

In other words...I was irresponsible for myself. I became dependent on other people for
my happiness. It kind of centered around my ex-wf. I became very dependent on her for
my happiness. And i blamed her for my unhappiness for years and I still my moments even to this day.
I'm more aware of my shortcomings now...but I want what I want.

Of course we all want to be loved.....
I just want her...but I can't have her. And no women had been able to fix me of this.

Learning how to love myself first and formost was very difficult for me at first....becuase I felt
guilty or selfished. Maybe it was the way i was riased, programmed or conditioned.

Anywho