Introduction

[skyblue2]

Hi

I shall tell you that I am a Gurl...middle aged whom has found herself in a place I left many years ago...I find it so odd that I am hurt & feel rejected, deep saddness & loneliness. I am also a widow of a 32 year marriage....understand I have been dealing with that but it is the social issues I can't get over. My dearest friend died 5 years ago so I have had time to shed that deep loss but I have been rejected by our oldest friends and am taboo to society it seems to me. We had very close friends which I never see anymore...actually since he died. I went into counseling just to find the advice to be get out there. stick yourself out there so you can mingle and get involved but it has failed in so many ways. I have tried everything I know how to keep in touch or be there but to no avail...my oldest friends have betrayed my trust and don't even realize I know. It is like they are keeping secrets from me so I won't know they are getting together. Tonite I find they are meeting on the Beach in Blaine WA....drinking margaritas watching the sun set....I live in Minn so do the other women there. In the past I would be there with them...I don't get invited anymore...they all are afraid to be with me...I have missed so much now this has been going on for a long time and I came to accept they can't face mortality so I started to go out on my own which is failing miserably. I am sad and lonely and have lowered my expectations. I am angy and just can't figure out what is wrong and why have they really cast me out. These are my friends of 40 years. I had the life. An active successful life and I don't understand. I certainly don't want to be a jerk either. I was there for these people in the good and bad time. My hub & I even helped one buy their home. We loved our friends like family. The one thing I am aware of is that I am the first to have a child, the first to loose a child, the first to loose a parent, the first to loose their mother, the first loose their husband. I had children early on and they were fairly judgemental but when there children came they apologized. Is this my life to discover they really might not have been my friends....this would be too much to bare. The emptiness of it all!!! I invested in these people and they are gone. I can have them alone with out the celebrations....I was told that in August...come visit anytime Jane I would like to visit with you anytime....while they were letting each other know about $200. rd trip air fares.....leaving me out. I confronted my friend about the fares thats when she said come anytime....I did't know until tonite because I am on facebook with them and they were toasting each other and talking a bout where they were and the sunsetlllll I mean what am I to do...how do I reconcile the world around me when it doesn't revolve like it used to. If I delete them there will be no chance of change if I get angry what will that gain...I have tried to communitcate...I know that I am different...but I am not dead. I suppose next I will hear one of their loved ones will pass and they will tell me how sorry they are for treating me the way they did.....My age group does not go out a lot...we stay home and hunker down....I wish I could find some lovely people my age group.

I feel desperate....never thought this woule be me.

I hope I have lived within the rules of this sight.

Thank you for reading. Sky

 

[evanescencefan91]

Hey sky, I'm so sorry you feel so sad

*hugs*

Life is hard for all of us and harder still for many of us
there is no rhyme or reason for why we suffer,

but I can assure you sound like a good person that doesn't deserve to feel like this
even though I may be younger, I too know what it feels like to be betrayed by your closest friends, and to see them go out and have a great time, while you sit home alone

I deleted them from facebook, becuase I was just too pissed off to ssee pictures of them having fun, on my news feed

it's not the end my friend, it may take some ime, but you'll get through this wiser and more mature before

I spent my last two years of high school complelty alone eexcpet for this site, but I gained a lot of insight into myself and others

and learned how to relax be confident and make friends again,

though I'd be lying if I didn't hold my breath in fear of it all falling apart again, but so far so good,

and I know that if it does, I can make it through another round of hell

You'd be surprised how many other people your age are in similar situations,

have you heard of meetup.com

I like it, it's pretty cool, just type in your area and look for something that interests you, and you can meet new people your age with similar interests,

sometimes I would go to movies by my self which was fine

remember we're all in this together, and I'm pulling for you

*hugs*

 

[eris]

I am not doing what others in my age group are doing, either. Its easy to be left out

But we will not reject you here welcome

 

[All In The Mind]

Merry Christmas!

 

[Minus]

I don't know why people do that. It sure can be painful. I am sorry that you are experiencing it.

Welcome to the site.

 

[Mr.shankly]

Hi

I hope things pick up for you. I have never been on facebook ....seems like trouble to me ( plus i spend enough time on the computer as it is)

 

[Nina]

Skyb--
I've seen this happen in various groups, through the years. It's horrible and clearly painful for you, but sometimes women are very insecure in their own marriages and are fearful that the newly singled, woman will get too close to their husbands. I've seen perfectly decent and wonderful gals left out for this reason, but I have also seen a few of the newly singled gals move in on other womens hubs and SO's.

I do hope your situation changes. Maybe seek out a singles group in your area, in your age group and make some new friends. We can never really know what's going on in anothers mind but we can move forward for our own heart and happiness. (sky)

 

[lomojojo]

I'm sorry to hear your going through all this. If I were you I would start over somewhere else and detach from everything. I know it only sounds easy but sometimes I wish I had the guts to do it!!

Welcome BTW

 

[SherryGee]

hey skyblue2

sorry to hear how your friends treating you

 

[Punisher]

Hi Sky

 

[skyblue2]

Thank You All for your messages & encouragement! I think it is harder to let go of friends you''ve had for 4o years but I am letting it pass but not without a high price I paid for that night....so much tension now I can't move my neck.....eeeeegads!

Thanks Again, Hugs, J.