is it possable to find love?

[lonely2beeme]

is it possiable to find love?
is everyone attracted to looks and age?
you want someone who will understand you but should two unhappy people try to date will it just lead to both wanting to kill themselves ?
i have 3 children i am 35 and overweight, i dont have any skills at all none as a adult n america or had a job or ever leave my house ,i stay at home all day ,im on welfare in japan lol.i get depressed ,i am afraid of dieing over here and what will happen to my babies? but if i go home where do i live in america?welfare is not good there i heard? not sure i could work and if i could where? how do i feed and cloth my children there? and do any men really like BBW cause over here there is no BBW .over here in japan BBW is a freak that stays home ,even if you are sick and need medical care the doctors shrug and say the MRI is too small you cant fit so you lay sick for days in pain.
i worry alot ,and all i ever wanted was a small home , a nice family and a man who loved me ........why does this seem so impossiable?
i miss being held and whispered to, i long to be needed and talked to...
i wish i had a soul mate,a best friend ,a man who takes care of me and i take care of him in return, i miss being able to feel completely safe and trust another human.i miss that,do you think its possiable to still find it?

 

[kazman32]

is everyone attracted to looks and age?


My ex gained alot of weight she was up to 240lbs at 5'6..it bothered her beacuse I am a former nat'l level competiitve bodybuilder..but I never loved anyone so much or thought anyone was more beautiful, and I never cheated on her 7 years together...so yes there are men out there that wouldn't care if you were heavy...I truly have learned to love at a more spirtiual level, and I see women of all shapes, sizes, colors as atttractive.

 

[Searching_4_My_Soul-Mate]

I can't seem to meet a guy who isn't interested in looks and sex. But I do have a friend who is very sweet. He has been married for a very long time. He loves his wife very much and feels that she is the most beautiful woman in the world. After they had their daughter - she had gained weight. With this wieght gain came depression and the loss of desire to have sex. Even though she is heavy now and they never have sex - he still adores her and is her best friend. So there is hope after all. Like kaz said - you have to find someone who will love on a more spiritual level.

 

[lonelygirl]

Hi,

Yes, there are some men who even like overweight women and as a matter of fact prefer them. They are not the most common, but there are lots of men who like women of different sizes.

I think you should come back to the US. You might not need to be on Welfare here and depending where you live, it may still be possible to survive okay on welfare. If your husband is bad to you, leave him and come home! PS you might have to sneak out, right? If your kids are under 18 then he has the rights over them while you are there.

 

[kazman32]

[/quote]

I think you should come back to the US. You might not need to be on Welfare here and depending where you live, it may still be possible to survive okay on welfare. If your husband is bad to you, leave him and come home


I agree, I think you should move back....

 

[lonely2beeme]

sometimes i really think i should , but i feel gripped in fear the minute i decide thats what i want.
i think ok so you are going to go back so where???? just gonna pull out a map and place a finger on it and go there??? who do you know? with what money? after you get off the plane where do you go?no apartment, job ,car ,food, money, relatives, friends so you just gonna sit in LAX until airport people notice and have your kids picked up by social service and you sent to a homeless shelter till you figure it out.......and then i crawl back into be and cry because as much as i want out of here ,want a chance to be loved and want to be home i also want my children happy and safe before my own happiness and they are somewhat ,have a roof and food and are all together.and so i stay and try to think of people worse off than me ,and try to count my blessings ........but then realize i am back to where i was and the thoughts start all over again

 

[kazman32]

I'm really sorry your going through all that ....I hope you can find a way out and you do find someone to make you feel loved cared for, I know I wish I could.

 

[Searching_4_My_Soul-Mate]

Maybe there is something on the internet - some kind of information that could lead you to people who can help you in the US. I know what it is like when you have children. People with no kids cannot understand why us Mom's just can't simply leave our situation. It's not that easy. You are damned if you do and damned if you don't. Either way life sucks - but I would rather it suck and be with my children than without. I would die without my children.

There has got to be a way out for you. It will not be easy and it may not be able to happen over night. But start planning.. Do some research and find out what your options are. Then find out what you gotta do to do it. But whatever it is - make sure you aren't stupid about it. Make sure you have a plan. It won't happen over night - but it will happen. Also - keep this in mind - your children won't be small forever. No problem is forever. There is light at the end of the tunnel - you just may have to travel a bit further to get there.

 

[lonelygirl]

Hi Lonely,

I have been doing a LOT of research about the best places to live in America. One way you could help yourself is by making some friends online. If you can do that, you will have some people in America to come and visit, perhaps even stay with for a few weeks until you get on your feet.

Where did you live in the US before you went to Japan? PS You still have not mentioned about your husband there. If he is abusive, it's number one important that you get him out of your day to day life there in Japan, if possible.

PM me if you like. I have LOTS of ideas about how to get back on your feet here in the US.

 

[lonely2beeme]

hey lonelygirl
yea i still think about comeing back been trying to make friends online so far most dont wanna get nvolved ,they just want hookups for sex of light chatter

i was thinking to come back to states for a few eeks to think i have very fw relatives i sent out 5 emails to relatives asking if i could visit to think thing out so far no replys
i cant blame them most never saw me and then it was over 25 years ago when i was a child

i just wonder where is best to move
for meeting men who would date me at my age and size
for getting a interesting job that i can do ,stay in
cheap places to live rent or buy how do i find cheap places to buy?
friends to move near ....still none

 

[thebadartist]

Well...if your weight is depressing you, why not go on a diet or maybe exercise?

 

[lonely2beeme]

Well...if your weight is depressing you, why not go on a diet or maybe exercise?

that causes a whole new bag of problems ,i guess people who have never been fat dont realize the damage done to the body .you see famous people like oprah and she looks great believ me she had reconstructive surgery.
once skin is stretched out it doesnt go back.
ever since last year iwhen i started thinking im 35 now its now or never tmecame3 monthes before my 35th bday when i started to panick sice then i have lost 40 kilos thats like 60 pounds just by starving myself ,i fear the rebound but to lose that much in a short amount of time makes things hang ,boobies,stomach inner thighs ,everything feels very soft and wiggles you start to become ver uncomfortable in your own skin like you are wearing a fat suit sliding around on you.i was actually more comfortable fat,now i am in between still need to lose another 60 to be back to regular size however after that i will need sugery to remove and relift everything,cant afford it.which will leave me again feeling depessed because i wont want anyone to see me or touch me then,so again i doubt i will find love.money may not buy you love but it allows the possabilites of just about anything.if you por you better be young or geogeous.

so yea most people think i havent tried to find ways to come home and yet i have exhausted most,same with the weight i have been doing it but even after loseing weight i am still a fat girl when the clothes come off unless i can afford the sugeries ,then i would feel better .
still i wish i could find a man who doesnt care about it but e all know there isnt any such thing some men will continue to love wives who became that way because they have memories of what a cute lil thing she was.

still trying to lose weight tho i havent stopped just t has slowed down since i 1st started.eating vegtables all the time gets tireing but i want my life back more than i want that quck satisfaction of something good to eat .tho i still cant resist the sugar ,im trying

 

[Wishtobemyself]

I'm still looking for a nice girl to be with. I tried to approach a girl once, but it turns out that she's just using me. I'm a bit dissapointed. Traumatized by her. Now I don't know where to find a good girl. It seems so hard to find them.