ThePsychologist
Active member
- Joined
- Dec 31, 2009
- Messages
- 43
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Hey guys.
As the title suggest, I'm not really doing okay. I'll explain the situation:
Wednesday evening we went out to dinner. Everything was fine in the beginning, but after an hour passed, things got quiet and we didn't really know what to talk about. So we had some silences that I don't really enjoy having. It makes me feel very insecure and unhappy. I am then mostly projecting thoughs she might be having about me. Things like "****, this is boring" or "I want to go home..". These thoughts really are bad, for it's brings me spiraling downward, making me even more sad during dinner.
I got the cheque and we went home. When walking home she said that I was quiet today. Which I indeed was. But we both were. Our lives are not that very interesting to have converstational topics at the ready, so this stuff happends between us, especially when going out to dinner with just the two of us. It always feels so forced and I generally don't like it.
But she said I was quiet. I told her that I indeed was quiet but that there was no particular reason for it. I just did not have much to talk about today. She said it was okay and joked that she rather had that I was quiet than not knowing when to stop talking.
When we where walking in the train, me still feeling very sad for feeling like this was a disaster evening, I tried to grab her hand. But she pulled her hand away and looking at me funny. I now felt even worse. I did not understand what was going on.
So we got in the train, she set across from me, I was looking out of the window, a bit sad I guess. Halfway through the train trip she stood up and seated her self next to me, grabbing my hand and stroking it. I think she understood I felt rejected and she wanted me to feel better.
Our destination arrived and we got off the train. We then sticked around on the trainstation and decided to talk for a bit. She asked how I felt and if something was wrong. I confessed that I was feeling kind of sad lately, and that I was shocked about the thoughts I was having (sick and disturbing thoughts). These thoughts manifested itself into drawings I make that are just plain weird and I scare myself about it.
Another thing was that I was wondering if she really felt love for me or feels attraction. I did not tell her this, because I did not want to make the evening even worse, but it's true. I am sometimes doubting if she feels attraction towards me. I am always the one initiating kisses, hugs, sex, etc. She rarely lovingly touches me or anything like that. Only after we had a good day together with a lot of fun, she does this more, but still. I'm just wondering if she looks into my eyes, if she feels love or feels nothing. Keep in mind though, that this young woman has troubles of her own. She goes to group therapy with me (we met there) and generally has a lot of trouble in having fun (she almost only wants to concentrate on work).
But back to the train station where we were talking. She told me she was being sad from time to time aswell. The other day she started crying without any reason or feelings associated with it.
After we said our things, we decided that we should really meet eachother's parents this weekend. Because it was long overdo and we kept delaying the inevitable. So supposedly I would meet her parents tomorrow and she would meet mine during the day.
We lovely kissed. I walked her to her bike and we kissed some more, telling we loved eachother and we both went home.
The next day I texted her, saying we should visit my brother in Amsterdam next week, that it would be fun! To which she replied with text back
"We have to do so many things.. And lately I've been wondering why we aren't doing the things we promised to do...I'm wondering if they will happen at all.."
This got me worried, so I asked her what she meant specifically. She said:
"I just find it very very weird that we haven't met eachother's parents with almost 4 months into this relationship.. As if we are both evading it for a reason.. I also have a bad aftertaste about what happened last night.. But I guess it will be okay."
That got me worried some more.
I said that if that is what she has been worrying about, that this weekend will make all the difference, for we are going to meet eachother's parents finally! But she did not reply back. It took her 24 hours to reply back after I texted her twice (we normally text each other a lot during the day so when looking at our patterns, it would seem like something is seriously wrong when she is not responding during the day.
She finally texted that she hasn't been feeling her best today and that she's not sure about tomorrow.
I texted back that I hoped she would feel better soon and that I am hoping to see her tomorrow if she's up to it.
That's basicly it. Tomorrow we were supposed to meet each other's parents, but it now looks like she will cancel. And I'm really worried. I'm worried that she wants to break up with me...
What do you guys think?
As the title suggest, I'm not really doing okay. I'll explain the situation:
Wednesday evening we went out to dinner. Everything was fine in the beginning, but after an hour passed, things got quiet and we didn't really know what to talk about. So we had some silences that I don't really enjoy having. It makes me feel very insecure and unhappy. I am then mostly projecting thoughs she might be having about me. Things like "****, this is boring" or "I want to go home..". These thoughts really are bad, for it's brings me spiraling downward, making me even more sad during dinner.
I got the cheque and we went home. When walking home she said that I was quiet today. Which I indeed was. But we both were. Our lives are not that very interesting to have converstational topics at the ready, so this stuff happends between us, especially when going out to dinner with just the two of us. It always feels so forced and I generally don't like it.
But she said I was quiet. I told her that I indeed was quiet but that there was no particular reason for it. I just did not have much to talk about today. She said it was okay and joked that she rather had that I was quiet than not knowing when to stop talking.
When we where walking in the train, me still feeling very sad for feeling like this was a disaster evening, I tried to grab her hand. But she pulled her hand away and looking at me funny. I now felt even worse. I did not understand what was going on.
So we got in the train, she set across from me, I was looking out of the window, a bit sad I guess. Halfway through the train trip she stood up and seated her self next to me, grabbing my hand and stroking it. I think she understood I felt rejected and she wanted me to feel better.
Our destination arrived and we got off the train. We then sticked around on the trainstation and decided to talk for a bit. She asked how I felt and if something was wrong. I confessed that I was feeling kind of sad lately, and that I was shocked about the thoughts I was having (sick and disturbing thoughts). These thoughts manifested itself into drawings I make that are just plain weird and I scare myself about it.
Another thing was that I was wondering if she really felt love for me or feels attraction. I did not tell her this, because I did not want to make the evening even worse, but it's true. I am sometimes doubting if she feels attraction towards me. I am always the one initiating kisses, hugs, sex, etc. She rarely lovingly touches me or anything like that. Only after we had a good day together with a lot of fun, she does this more, but still. I'm just wondering if she looks into my eyes, if she feels love or feels nothing. Keep in mind though, that this young woman has troubles of her own. She goes to group therapy with me (we met there) and generally has a lot of trouble in having fun (she almost only wants to concentrate on work).
But back to the train station where we were talking. She told me she was being sad from time to time aswell. The other day she started crying without any reason or feelings associated with it.
After we said our things, we decided that we should really meet eachother's parents this weekend. Because it was long overdo and we kept delaying the inevitable. So supposedly I would meet her parents tomorrow and she would meet mine during the day.
We lovely kissed. I walked her to her bike and we kissed some more, telling we loved eachother and we both went home.
The next day I texted her, saying we should visit my brother in Amsterdam next week, that it would be fun! To which she replied with text back
"We have to do so many things.. And lately I've been wondering why we aren't doing the things we promised to do...I'm wondering if they will happen at all.."
This got me worried, so I asked her what she meant specifically. She said:
"I just find it very very weird that we haven't met eachother's parents with almost 4 months into this relationship.. As if we are both evading it for a reason.. I also have a bad aftertaste about what happened last night.. But I guess it will be okay."
That got me worried some more.
I said that if that is what she has been worrying about, that this weekend will make all the difference, for we are going to meet eachother's parents finally! But she did not reply back. It took her 24 hours to reply back after I texted her twice (we normally text each other a lot during the day so when looking at our patterns, it would seem like something is seriously wrong when she is not responding during the day.
She finally texted that she hasn't been feeling her best today and that she's not sure about tomorrow.
I texted back that I hoped she would feel better soon and that I am hoping to see her tomorrow if she's up to it.
That's basicly it. Tomorrow we were supposed to meet each other's parents, but it now looks like she will cancel. And I'm really worried. I'm worried that she wants to break up with me...
What do you guys think?